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It's time to play: narcissist or NOT!

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Writer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-19-06 12:10 AM
Original message
It's time to play: narcissist or NOT!
So there's this guy that I am itching to talk about here on DU.

Okay, maybe I'm crazy... but here, lemme explain the chain of events that I'm pondering.

So I am taking a class with this guy. We are working in a group together with another person. At first he seems nice so we chat about politics, etc. I realized during our conversations that he's a bit smug, but it's not much of a big deal.

About a month into the semester he starts to change. He began speaking to me in a condescending tone, rolled his eyes at me a few times, and began remarking on superficial aspects of my appearance.

So I treated him coldly, unemotionally in return. I avoided lengthy conversations with him and stuck only to our project. He began "befriending" the third member of our group, and in turn, they both retreated from me.

After a couple of weeks, he began warming up to me, but quite frankly I don't trust him anymore. He also slips in subtle, bragadocious comments about himself... "I'm going to speak to the head of XXX..."

I have dealt with narcissism before, albeit in much more overt forms. This guys seems to have a few tendencies. His odd hot-cold-hot change in personality leads me to believe that he might be.

So, ladies and germs... is he a narcissist or NOT?
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nothingshocksmeanymore Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-19-06 12:17 AM
Response to Original message
1. Everyone has narcissistic tendencies to a degree
but yeah...that sounds a bit malignant...the real clue will be if you acknowledge it and he acts as though he has no idea why you would feel that way
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Writer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-19-06 12:31 AM
Response to Reply #1
3. The interesting thing is once I started getting cold he gave me less...
Edited on Wed Apr-19-06 12:33 AM by Writer
reason to really CONFRONT him, which is what I'd prefer doing. "C'mon, bitch"... know what I mean?
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Whoa_Nelly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-19-06 12:27 AM
Response to Original message
2. Sounds more like a manipulator
IMO, narcissism kinda goes along with that... :shrug:



Ask him if he wants to be "The Decider". :rofl:
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Writer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-19-06 12:32 AM
Response to Reply #2
4. Oooh... fill me in on the reference!
"The Decider"

Gotta know!
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Whoa_Nelly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-19-06 12:38 AM
Response to Reply #4
5. Why...it's what Chimpy McFuckwad called himself today!
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Writer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-19-06 12:42 AM
Response to Reply #5
6. King of the Narcissists!
That man is the Maligno-in-Chief!

:rofl:

THE DECIDER!

Wait wasn't that a song by Destiny's Child?

I'm a DECIDER(What?)
I'm not gon give up (What?)
I'm not gon stop (What?)
I'm gon work harder (What?)

It's HARRRRRD WORK to be a Decider!

:rofl:
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Writer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-19-06 01:11 AM
Response to Original message
7. Kick.
Would anyone else like to play?
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gkdmaths Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-19-06 01:31 AM
Response to Original message
8. he sounds more like
Edited on Wed Apr-19-06 01:33 AM by gkdmaths
well...me. Sure, Ive got an ego, and I think that I've exceeded in accomplishing every goal Ive set for myself (hey, I'm just sayin'). The point is: hell, for a guy who was told in high school that all we was going to do in life was "pump gas", I'm pretty damned proud of myself.

okay, back to the point. Sometimes, I slip and realize that i might be paying a little too much attention to myself and clam up, all embarrassed. I shut up and try to behave, but then I get comfortable and do it again.

Now, I consciously know how to act, but sometimes the ego just lets loose, and I gotta control that.

so what if he's a little into himself? It sounds to me like he is, like me, trying to recognize his own insecurities and become a better person, more self-actualized so that he doesnt necessarily feel the need to be self-important?

okay, Ive shared enough about myself. :blush:

SEE!!!!! I just did it. Im shutting up now.

my $0.02

on edit: or, hes a complete ass. there's always that.
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Writer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-19-06 01:35 AM
Response to Reply #8
9. Well ego is one thing... flip-flopping between asshole and not-asshole
is another.

That's, in a word... psycho.
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NMDemDist2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-19-06 01:36 AM
Response to Reply #8
10. "or, hes a complete ass. there's always that."
that gets my vote :shrug:
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gkdmaths Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-19-06 01:40 AM
Response to Reply #10
11. perhaps youre right.
it was more of a chance to reflect upon MYSELF!

:evilgrin:

its all about the opportunity!
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Writer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-19-06 01:42 AM
Response to Reply #11
12. Feel better after basking in your sense of self-importance?
Oh exalted fellow poster, better than ALL in EVERY WAY??? ;) ;) ;)
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gkdmaths Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-19-06 01:46 AM
Response to Reply #12
13. Nope. absolutely not.
absolutely not. Just better than a few very influential people in my past thought I could be.

90% of the time I feel significantly inferior to most people.

Honestly.
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Writer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-19-06 01:54 AM
Response to Reply #13
14. You know I've had that experience, too...
I've also been told that I was too attractive (read: unintelligent) to be successful in my industry. I beat that person out for a managerial job after we all got laid off.

I was told in second grade that I was retarded. I am an honors graduate from the Univ. of Texas and am finishing her Master's.

Even my sister has dished resentment at me. When I left Texas for New York City, she told me I'd regret my decision... she tossed out: "then you'll look back at all this and think 'What was I thinking?'" It ended up being one of the best decisions of my life.

Yes. I know EXACTLY what you mean. But what's nice about it is that you can look back at those assholes and smile.

I am going to look back at this asshole... and smile.
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Mayberry Machiavelli Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-19-06 01:59 AM
Response to Reply #11
15. well we already knew YOU were a narcissist n/t
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Skittles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-19-06 04:24 AM
Response to Original message
16. that boy needs a good ass-kicking
yes INDEED
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