"The Gallery of Regrettable Food" appreciation thread

[Sugar Smack]

My best friend's husband and I have a real fondness for old cookbooks- the kind that feature nightmarish, vivid and jello-covered meals in their pictures. He'd pointed me to the Gallery of Regrettable food about a year ago. One of the best things about this website is that the commentary is top-notch. I'd never expected it to be so funny. Here are a few samples.

Bon Appetit!

http://www.lileks.com/institute/gallery/index.html


"It has an almost Gauginesque quality."



"One for all and alll for balls! En garde, monsieur. Don't forget the giant copper Auto-Pour CoffeeBot, either."



"It's steak a la Ugarte! When decorating your meal, make sure to arrange the onions in the shape of Peter Lorre's face.
Garnish with small, inedible onions. WARNING! The carrots here are not to be eaten. Your manly meat-a-rifficness will diminish if you eat the carrots. Vegetables are for commies."



"Okay, so it’s interwoven. Noted. They seem quite proud of the fact, even though you have no idea what it means. Dad’s pretty happy about it all, even though he has no idea that the grill is now picking up transmissions from Sputnik and reflecting them into his head. Wife’s happy, too, although she appears to be some sort of chameleon bred to blend in with SOS boxes and squeeze-bottles of French’s mustard. Daughter is incredulous as well, but happy no one is looking at her deformed right hand, which is not only elongated but ends at the wrist.

Hey, folks: is that fence high enough?"



"This would seem to be a segment of an intestine from some creature that ingested the fender from an old DeSoto. In any case, it's alarmingly aerodynamic, this meat; very modern and streamlined. Perhaps this recipe hails from the 1939 World's Fair.
Note! the vegetables are strictly ornamental."

[no name no slogan]

1. Mmmmmmmmmm.....MMMMMMM!!!

Looks downright delectable!

Too bad Lileks is a RWer. Oh well, at least he's got good taste in regrettable food!

8 days... :loveya:

[Sugar Smack]

2. NO WAY! You told me that, didn't you?

8 days--> this is going to be GREAT!!:D

[no name no slogan]

3. Yeah, he lives in Minneapolis and writes for the Strib

He does a column called "Backfence" that's not too bad (speaking like a true Minnesotan again, I know :silly: ). And I do really like the regrettable foods gallery, too!

Actually, it's more like SEVEN days and eleven hours, but who's counting? (ME, that's who!) :*

[jakefrep]

4. My personal favorite...

Not edible, but I am quite curious about this:



"Would you not just pay anything to read the letters that got this pulled off the market?"

[Sugar Smack]

13. Oh, I can imagine!!

:rofl:

[Hong Kong Cavalier]

25. What the heck is that?

Napalm in a can????
:wtf:

[jakefrep]

49. Looks like a combination of napalm and Reddi Whip nt

[Hong Kong Cavalier]

59. Awesome!

I gotta get me some Siz!!!!!

Fa-whooom! :nuke:




...I wonder if it's good on pie?

[jmowreader]

95. Looks like an arsonist's wet dream to me

[no name no slogan]

5. Meat Glacier

"Moving too slow to be measured by the eye of man, the Great Meat Glacier pushed inexorably south."

[Sugar Smack]

18. "...the Great Meat Glacier pushed inexorably south."

OMG, I didn't even see that one! :D

[asthmaticeog]

6. I love that book.

It's a damn shame Lileks is such a right wing war-hawk nut, but he's funny as hell, so I'll take that part of him and leave the rest.

Have you seen his latest book, "Mommy Know Worst?" All kinds of terrible parenting advice from the '50s, skewered in a way that only he can do it. HiLARious.

[Sugar Smack]

7. That really is a shame.

When nnns reminded me of that, I had to go pace in the parking lot with a cigarette. I just decided to really enjoy the site and leave the rest of him, too. I saw the book "Mommy Knows Worst" advertised but I'm certainly checking into it further. Once, I found some really funny pamphlets on "how to be a better wife" in an antiques shop and HAD to get them. :D

[mac56]

97. I used to be Lileks' biggest fan.

I first encountered his work when he was a student at the University of Minnesota and wrote a column for the Minnesota Daily.

Followed his career closely for about 20 years.

No more.

Lileks lost me forever when he made extremely snotty, insulting comments about Paul Wellstone after he died.

He can be the funniest guy in the world, but he's still a neocon asshole. Anything funny he comes up with is fruit from a poisoned tree.

[Hong Kong Cavalier]

8. It felt like I was kicked in the gut when I fount out Lileks was a neo-con

Literally.

Now I just scratch my head. How can someone who can sarcastically skewer all these
"traditional" beliefs in his column every week (I was such an avid reader when I
subscribed to the Star Tribune) be such a supporter of these Regressive idiots?
Doesn't he realize they want to bring this country back to the past that he
oh-so-hillariously lampoons?

"Mommy Knows Worst"? I'll have to check it out and read it in the bookstore.

[Sugar Smack]

11. "I'll have to check it out and read it in the bookstore" *LOL*

:spray:

He does such great satire on that site that I wondered how he could have been anything but liberal. Unless, he has a real love-hate relationship with that era and he's working a sort of schizophrenia out through it. :crazy:

[no name no slogan]

9. Meat + Jello = Funtastic Food

"Two favorites together again. What do I mean - Hitler and Goering? No, it’s two of the Institute’s most notorious offenders. You’ve a Jello dish on the left, and yes, that’s meat entombed in that gelatinous horror. On the right, the infamous Cabbage Stuffed with Meat, a dish to be featured. in the upcoming Al Roker Show feature on the Gallery of Regrettable Food."

Hey Sug, guess what I'm cooking tonight? I'll bring the leftovers with me next week! ;)

[Sugar Smack]

14. OMG!!! That's truly horrifying!! EW, EW, and yet

:rofl: Who thought of that? Meat in jello?

[Arugula Latte]

15. I saw an ad for celery-flavored jello

in an old Life magazine from the early 60s. :scared:

[commander bunnypants]

10. drrrroooolllllll

burger on stick

yum

CB

[Sugar Smack]

16. If you liked that, you'll love this:

"It’s the latest craze - glazed ostrich thigh a la paddleboat"

[commander bunnypants]

20. I have had ostrich burgers before

tastes like chicken. It needed steak sauce

CB

[Sugar Smack]

22. No, it needed a gooey orange apricot jello sauce!

:o

[Sugar Smack]

23. With marmalade on top!

:D

[Shell Beau]

12. Hamburgers on a stick?

:rofl:

[Sugar Smack]

19. That's the "fancy" way to eat them. Entertain your friends!

:D

[jakefrep]

51. The only thing missing...

...is a dunk in some batter and a trip through the deep-fryer. The next state fair taste treat!

[Sugar Smack]

56. And then dump French dressing all over it.

And then dip it in mayonnaise.

Ew. I'm scaring myself.

[eppur_se_muova]

96. Rats! Rats on a stick!

http://www.holysmoke.org/cos/dead-rat-stick-fred.htm

[djeseru]

17. *bookmarks*

"Dad’s pretty happy about it all, even though he has no idea that the grill is now picking up transmissions from Sputnik and reflecting them into his head."

:rofl:

[Sugar Smack]

21. I busted out laughing at work with some of these.

I tried sneaking looks at them quietly, to no avail!

[NewWaveChick1981]

24. Geez, Sugar Smack, you'd really enjoy the old Spry Shortening

cookbook that my husband has! :) It's from the late 1940s and is a booklet that came with Spry Shortening and teaches women how to please their men through cooking. Aunt Jenny is the narrator, and I swear she looks like a guy in drag! :rofl: If I get a chance, I'll scan a page or two and post it.

[Sugar Smack]

26. OH, thanks for reminding me! I'm going to scan in one of those

pamphlets NOW!!!

THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!!!:bounce: :bounce: :toast:

[NewWaveChick1981]

34. You're welcome! It's a hoot! :)

[Sugar Smack]

35. I don't know why this came out so SMALL-

I'm going to try again later so it's readable:

[NewWaveChick1981]

39. How dare wives become slovenly!

LOL! I'm gonna attempt to read it if I can...maybe I can pick up some tips. :rofl:

[Sugar Smack]

42. I just looked through the booklet again and it's hysterical.

:rofl:

[NewWaveChick1981]

43. I'll be back in a sec...Gonna go get hubby's copy...

[NewWaveChick1981]

48. Got it.

I swear, Aunt Jenny looks like Radar's mom on MASH (ya know, Radar in drag!)! :rofl: Her advocacy of fried foods to "start a bride off right" is, of course, right on the money. How else would her husband start getting heart disease the right way? :P

[Sugar Smack]

50. Starting a bride off right-

you're making me want to go antique shopping! And get this, I'm working in Hillsborough and there are about 5 antique stores nearby. It's more fun to go with someone else because you can both laugh at everything- that's what I was doing when I picked up that "Marital Problems" pamphlet. :D

[NewWaveChick1981]

52. Hillsborough's got some great antique shops!

You never know what you'll find there, either. And you know that ALL marital problems are the woman's fault, right??? Those pamphlets say it is, so it must be true! :P

[Sugar Smack]

55. Yes; I'm looking at some of the titles in this book right now:

"When the Wife goes to Work"
"Irritable Wives!"
"Empty, Childless Homes"
"Spendthrift Wives"
"Daintiness is so Important"

- and from the latter:"Every woman who wants to hold her husband's love, knows that the first requisite is DAINTINESS about her person."

OMG!!!!!!!!:wow:

[NewWaveChick1981]

57. You found that in the comedy section, right???

Geez! :) And to think some women actually paid attention to that advice. Sheesh! :mad:

[Sugar Smack]

61. Let's see, this one was done in--

SHIT. There's no date on it. Wow, but I'm going to try and scan some of the pages tomorrow, and put up another thread. Hopefully it'll work!

[In_The_Wind]

27. I don't know, it looks pretty rich to me.

10 * 2 * 4 these were from your link






Oh, BTW ~ Do you want to take a trike trip west or a pick-up truck trip?

[Sugar Smack]

28. Oooh, I love it. I'm going to check out the "Cooking with Dr. Pepper"

link!

You know what? I really am in the mood for a trip. I really, really am. :bounce:

[In_The_Wind]

30. I think you've found a perfect topic.

I've been thinking a lot about the trip. It would be really great if you can make it.
Are you going home after work? We can discuss it.

[no name no slogan]

31. get a little closer

"She seems absolutely stupified by something here, and I'm not sure what. To be honest, she looks as though she was just showing off her engagement ring to the dog when she noticd that the cook was either keeping the corn cobs in a peculiar location, or he was very glad to see her."

:rofl:

[In_The_Wind]

33. Typical answer!

come here honey
I've got something you've just got to see :evilgrin:















I could say something about a possible vision condition the young woman might be suffering from

but I won't.

[Beware the Beast Man]

100. In all seriousness, Dr. Pepper makes a great ham glaze.

That was an Alton Brown tip. :)

[no name no slogan]

29. Chicken Crown

"This is cold curried chicken-paste arranged in the shape of a crown. May I never write that sentence again."


Hmmmm....next time I'm out for Indian, I be sure to order the crown-shaped curried chicken paste. I could wear it around before I eat it, and have everybody chant "ALL HAIL THE CHICKEN KING".

[Sugar Smack]

32. aaaa!

:D

[no name no slogan]

37. Hey, I found the chef who made the chicken curry crown

Chef Vishnu!



Thank you, Vishnu, for not only being a supreme god, but also for your excellent culinary skills.

[Sugar Smack]

44. I don't understand how this guy could possibly be a RWer!!

"The back cover, as lovingly rendered as the front. The wife is staggered by the weight of the dishes, and has inexplicably decided to wash the croquette mallet, too. Everyone else has been stunned into unconsciousness by the bounty of meats - except for our host, who has produced an oversized ukelele he won at an Arthur Godfrey lookalike contest. He cannot play it. He likes to strum it fast and sing in a nonsense Hawai'ian patois: Oh, hawanana mana wookie wookie wanana.

Ah: his wife is taking the mallet so no one cracks him on the head with it."

[no name no slogan]

45. ON EDIT: I take that back

just read his anti-Michael Moore screed:

http://www.lileks.com/writings/screed/moore.html

He's got a whole boatload of angry white guy stuff on his writing archive page.

Oh well. Even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day.

:hug:

[Sugar Smack]

46. ON EDIT:

Thanks for not pissing TOO much on my Lileks Appreciation thread. :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

[no name no slogan]

67. aw baby

I'll put my pisser away, then. :evilgrin:

[Sugar Smack]

69. Put your pisser away.

Yes. That would solve a lot of problems.:yoiks:

[riona]

36. What - no Spam recipes??

[Sugar Smack]

41. Spam is what they were waiting for while they came up

with these delightful dishes! That's my guess anyway.

[kwassa]

38. Yum! Yum!

http://www.lileks.com/institute/gallery/othrwhtmeat/2.html

[Sugar Smack]

40. Yum, yum, yum--->

"Perhaps these cakes were all made to placate the disembodied head that lives in the yellow room.

Martha! It’s making noises again - for God’s sake throw another house-cake in there before it starts chewing through the walls again!"

[Bunny]

47. That House Cake section just killed me!

I laughed so hard, I nearly started crying! :rofl:

[Sugar Smack]

53. Oh, that above post, let me tell you

When I saw that, I actually screamed a little, and was dying trying not to laugh, so I was pretty much in tears as well. :rofl:

[Shine]

54. LOL! I've never heard of meat described as "alarmingly aerodynamic" before

:rofl:

[Sugar Smack]

58. Food fights with pot roasts must have been a big thing

back then.:D

[Shine]

60. We can only imagine....

:D

:hi: :loveya:

[Sugar Smack]

63. *Shine*

:loveya: :loveya: :loveya: you too!

[no name no slogan]

62. "I'll take Flying Potroasts for $800, Alex"

BTW I'm not practicing until later tonight-- I'll give you a ring when I get home from work if that's okay! :loveya:

[Sugar Smack]

64. Yes, please!!

I will be there.:loveya:

[Sugar Smack]

65. More Jello:

"Nectar Salad.
Lovely. You have to admire a dish so full of innate purity it gives you a tally of every Kleigl light in the studio. But is it really Gel-Cookery - or an alien egg, pulsing in silence as it prepares to spew forth some horrid gel-based offspring?"

[In_The_Wind]

72. psst _hey_Sugar

I was trying to call you. Are you going to take a break soon?




PS ~ That jello mold is scary. :scared:

[Sugar Smack]

74. I'll call you in ten!

:D I was just talking with nnns!

[Dangerously Amused]

66. You guys are HILARIOUS!

Funniest thread I have seen in a long time!





Thanks for getting the ol' endorphins buzzing today. :7

[Sugar Smack]

70. Heehee! You too?

I'm the happiest gal in the world right now. I got my endorphin fix laughing at thet damned site. Pure gold. I'm glad I could help, DA! :D :loveya:

[Dangerously Amused]

75. Aww. Backatcha!

:loveya:

[bridgit]

68. you just HAVE to know i'm down mit dat...

:-)

[Sugar Smack]

71. YOU are the GRANDMASTER cheeseball.

If I could find a bow-down smilie I'd post it.

But I'll have to make do with this: :yourock:

[bridgit]

76. honey i got one check it out, but you will never have to bow low...

before me and you know it but here it is, its a japanese 'use of honorable keyboard', cause they don't use our smilies :cry:

( _ _ )

is that funny or what :rofl: oh, by the by...

:loveya:

[Sugar Smack]

80. I've just been mooned:

[bridgit]

83. hm, i could'ah swore it was more innocuous than that...

http://club.pep.ne.jp/~hiroette/en/facemarks :shrug: :rofl:

[Sugar Smack]

88. OH! I am bookmarking that site!!!

Many thanks!! :loveya:

[bridgit]

92. heehee, 'please take care of that affair for me'...

m(_ _)m

[NMDemDist2]

73. we had a very similar thread in the cooking and baking group a few

months ago, let me see it I can find it for you.,..

[Sugar Smack]

77. Here it is!

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=236&topic_id=15191&mesg_id=15191

[NMDemDist2]

82. well done! and hilarious yes?

we even kicked around the idea of having a "cook off"

TheEmpressofAll and wildeyed both did one IIRC

[Sugar Smack]

84. OMG! Are there pictures?

My best friend and her husband and I were going to do the same!

[Bucky]

78. Lileks is my favorite right winger PNAC-justifyin' asshole. His site rocks

See, I can rise above petty politics.

[Sugar Smack]

79. *Wild applause*

:applause: :applause: :applause:

I think I can too, for a few minutes. *lol*

[tuvor]

81. My favourite: Sack o' Sauce in a Can o' Meat

[Sugar Smack]

87. Whoa, would you look at THAT!

:wow:

[Hugin]

85. LOL! Great thread... It really takes me back.

Thanks.

[Sugar Smack]

86. Thank you, Prag!

I've been on a real nostalgia kick recently. It started with Bugs Bunny, went to Automats, continued in conversations with NewWaveChick1981, and winds up here (so far). I'm glad you like it. I'm having fun.

[NewWaveChick1981]

91. Hey, Sug, you know that Bugs Bunny

is my husband (except Mr. NewWaveChick1981 is not as skinny)! He's a real smartass and can smile just like Bugs. :D He can do a lot of cartoon voices, too. (BTW, he's a comic book artist.)

I've been on the Nostalgia Train since you put me on it a day or two ago!!! :rofl: Thanks for the fun! :toast:

[Sugar Smack]

93. Aw, this is fun.

I love it. I'm a cartoonist too! No wonder we have so much in common!







Hey, I love Bugs Bunny. Does your husband ever do the "Bugs Bunny in Drag" routine? ;) :rofl:

[NewWaveChick1981]

99. He hasn't dressed up yet, but he can do the routine way too well!

Maybe I can talk him into it someday. :P

Great cartoons, BTW! :applause:

[Sugar Smack]

101. Thank you, darlin!

nnns reminds me a little of Bugs too. It's his spirit that I'm so fond of. :woohoo:

[Sugar Smack]

89. How about dessert?

:evilgrin:


"Frankly, it looks like a breast implant from the 1939 World's Fair."

[bicentennial_baby]

90. yep, it's official...

:yourock:


seriously, you do...even though you never responded to my post in yr thread the other day :cry:

i loooooove you :loveya:

[Sugar Smack]

94. Whaaaaaa.....! Oh. BABY!

I didn't? Was that the "getting laid off" thread? I just didn't want to kick it back up cause I'm not used to compassion. My dear dear dear dear dear dear dear dear dear dear dear dear dear dear dear dear darling darling darling darling darling darling darling darling darling darling darling darling darling darling darling darling darling darling darling darling darling darling darling darling bibaby. Guess what> ? I :loveya: too.

Guess what? I'm going to see you all sometime this year. Maybe for 3 days?

[eppur_se_muova]

98. Check out the Museum of Burnt Food ...

http://www.burntfoodmuseum.com/