What's your bit of wisdom for today?

[terrya]

I'm looking for some wisdom today. Hit me.

[mikeytherat]

1. "If at first you don't succeed, try again. If you fail again, quit.

No point in being an asshole about it."

Dog Logic (on why dogs eat almost anything):
"It probably won't kill me, so down it goes."

More dog logic:
"Be alert - you never know when it might be Cookie Time."

mikey_the_rat

[AllegroRondo]

2. You can move to Montana, and listen to Santana

but you'll never be as cool as Sha Na Na.

[azmouse]

3. The sayings of Homer Simpson

No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better than you.

If something goes wrong, blame the guy who can't speak English.

When you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose... it's how drunk you get.

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Operator! Give me the number for 911!

Mmmm... beer.

Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. This bible cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a sinner! Except this guy.

Bart, a woman is like a beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one!

"Trying your best" is the first step to failure.

[Initech]

5. "Oh Lisa, you and your stories. Bart is a vampire. Beer kills brain cells.

Now let's go back to that building... thingy... where our beds and TV... is."

[azmouse]

7. OMG! Homer talks like * .... ahhhhhh!!!

That's very disturbing! :scared:

[Initech]

9. There was an episode where he listened to a Rush Limbaugh wannabe...

I think it's the episode where Sideshow Bob runs for mayor.

[dolo amber]

15. "5 day waiting period?? But I'm mad NOW!"

:rofl:

[Shine]

4. Worry is like a rocking chair...

it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.

:D

True dat.

[Call Me Wesley]

6. A short one:

Gardening.

With the risk of having a sunburn, it looks nice now. Calming and refreshing. Green wisdom.

[fleabert]

8. a random Oscar Wilde quote:

Nothing is serious except passion. The intellect is not a serious thing, and never has been. It is an instrument on which one plays, that is all.

-A Woman of No Importance

[skygazer]

10. When in doubt, use a hammer

Duct tape will fix anything.

[sundog]

11. .

[LSK]

12. if your looking to get a wiretap, get a court order

[ZombieNixon]

13. Never chew gum and take a dump at the same time.

x(

[medeak]

14. Abe Lincoln said:

"When I do good I feel good; when I do bad I feel bad"