Would the snuffing out of a compulsive whistler be justifiable homicide?

[Sugar Smack]

:grr: :grr: :grr: :grr: :grr: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke:

[AirmensMom]

1. Definitely

Yes. At least give him/her a bit of uppitiness.

[Sugar Smack]

3. Ok, maybe a mild *thwack* on the ear, since "Can you PLEASE

not do that?" wasn't working. x(

[AirmensMom]

12. No kidding!

You asked nicely and it continued? :grr: That would definitly irritate me! Are you at work?

[Sugar Smack]

15. Well, maybe I didn't really ask nicely. Maybe I even sounded a

little snotty. But still! It's been going on for WEEKS! And it's at work, too.

:grouphug: Thank you, AMom!

[AirmensMom]

26. You're trying to WORK through this?

Aaaarrrrgghhhh! :banghead:

Some of the people I worked with would whistle, sing, play their music loudly, yell, use speakerphones ... etc. I used to wear headphones just to drown out all the irritating stuff. It didn't work all the way, but at least I could listen to something I wanted to listen to. I actually prefer quiet, though.

I'm sure you didn't sound snotty ... just uppity. :evilgrin:

:grouphug:

[Sugar Smack]

28. See, THIS is what I get for being an Uppity Woman!

You took the words right out of my mouth. He comes thru my office sometimes (because my office is obviously some sort of hallway) and..and TWEETS!

He kinda laughed when I asked him to stop. And he did stop, for like 20 minutes.

[AirmensMom]

47. He sounds like

A JERK! :banghead:

[no name no slogan]

63. Get a sharp pair of sewing shears

and the next time he walks through your office, grab his lips and slice them off. If the shears are sharp, you should be able to do it with a single slice. Otherwise it make take you one or two tries.

Best of luck to you Sug. :*

[Sugar Smack]

64. I'm thinking a "plumber's friend" in the pus,

but first I'd yell something like, "DO YOU KISS YOUR GRAMMA WITH THAT MOUTH?"

SHIT. There he goes again.

[BreweryYardRat]

2. No.

How can anyone hate a whistler? :(

A severe snorer, on the other hand... (kidding)

[Sugar Smack]

5. This person makes psychotic bird-noises.

Constantly.

It kind of freaks me out, actually.:scared:

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

6. How could you kill a snorer?

It's not like they want to snore. :-(

[BreweryYardRat]

10. I wasn't serious.

I snore! Everyone in my immediate family snores to one degree or another.

[Sugar Smack]

11. Ooh, maybe there's some medication for compulsive whistlers,

like the geniuses who came up with the cure for "Restless Leg Syndrome" could come up with something for "Restless Whistling Syndrome".

[raccoon]

4. IMHO, yes.

I suggest you sing to get back at him/her. Especially if you don't have a good singing voice. If you do, you could always sing "Macarthur Park."

[Sugar Smack]

7. Your response made me laugh.

Maybe I could not necessarily sing, but hum. LOUDLY. :rofl:

[Richardo]

8. Does he do the over-the-top tremolo?

I worked with a guy like that when I was right out of school. Awful.


"Paulie? You won't see him no more."

[Sugar Smack]

9. YES, and,

"Leave the gun. Take the cannoli."

No, it's exactly what you're talking about, but COMPLETELY tuneless!

:loveya:

[ScreamingMeemie]

13. I think so...

Especially if he is in a grocery store, or the line of a bank and you are trying to concentrate. If he's at the doctor's office, in the waiting room...you don't even have to poll us first. :hi:

[Sugar Smack]

16. "you don't even have to poll us first"

*LOL*! I could have made this into a poll, couldn't I! It's creeping me out even more than it's driving me batshit. :pals:

[billyskank]

21. Hi MrsG!

:loveya:

[ScreamingMeemie]

29. Hi billy!

:hug: :loveya:

[billyskank]

32. ...

:hug: back atcha. :)

[johnnie]

14. When you are done there, stop by my office

There is a guy here who can't whistle for shit and it drives me nuts. He is one of those that blow more air than actual "whistle" and if he manages to stay in key for two notes I'm surprised.

[Sugar Smack]

17. We have another one just like that working here!

OMG! What is this, a zoo?

[Fleshdancer]

18. compulsive whistlers, nose whistlers....

and people who eat with their mouth open are all fair targets. :D

[Sugar Smack]

23. Thank you, ma'am.

"fair targets" Aaah, the sweet smell of justice!:D

[Mutley]

19. Just start tapping a pen loud and fast on your desk...

or make some other equally annoying and repetitive sound as a counter-attack. :D

[billyskank]

20. Have you ever heard that two wrongs don't make a right?

;)

:hi:

[Sugar Smack]

24. Oh, we're just talking about evening the score.

*whistles*

[Mutley]

27. What's your point?

:D

:*

[billyskank]

33. Oh, nothing

:*

[Mutley]

34. I'm feeling rather Uppity today.

:D

[billyskank]

35. Good

Er, I think. ;)

[Mutley]

36. I'm not sure if it is good or bad.

I might make someone mad. :scared:

[billyskank]

37. You??

Naaaah! :loveya:

[Mutley]

39. I do try to keep the peace

but it doesn't always work. :loveya:

[Sugar Smack]

38. When you're good, you're good.

Uppity and everything included! ;-)

[Mutley]

40. Oh, and I'm good baby!

:P

[AirmensMom]

46. You are?

Are you an Uppity Woman? Should I add you to the list? :bounce:

[jukes]

76. i don't think so

cd you whistle a few bars?

[Sugar Smack]

22. You are a genius.

OMG! :spray: :applause: :loveya:

I could also bounce one leg so my foot makes a tapping noise at the same time. YESSS!

[Mutley]

30. Why thank you, M'Lady.

:D

[Sugar Smack]

41. Thank you. I'm going to tap this pen on this desk until I

can't stand myself.:toast:

[tjwmason]

25. Not even justifiable homicide

More like an act of public service. Should get a medal for it.

[Sugar Smack]

31. A public service. What do you know? I'm feeling like a girl scout today.

[no name no slogan]

42. Remind me to bring my Throbbing Gristle records

and my Butthole Surfer records, too. If you blast these at sufficient volume, they will have nearly the same effect as whacking the offending whistler. :D

[Sugar Smack]

43. I already have Butthole Surfer tapes, so that shan't be a problem.

:* Bring some duct tape instead, and we'll see what we can do.

[no name no slogan]

44. OMG I did not know that!!!

I KNEW there was a reason I loved you!

And I will bring the duct tape, too. Do you prefer gray or black? ;)

:loveya:

[Sugar Smack]

48. And you love me for all the right reasons.

Shindigs. Butthole Surfers. Cheap distractions. :D

[no name no slogan]

51. Absolutely. That and you're pretty darn cute, too!

but I'm still a dork.

[eyepaddle]

45. Do you have any Glenn Branca you could throw at him

Or possibley an atonal Philip Glass number?

Or one of Keith Emerson's Toccatas? (I'll admit to being a ELP fan, and when I saw one live Keith's keyboard masturbation was an entertaining spectacle--but how anybody could sit and listen to recording of that....well, my mind boggles!)

[no name no slogan]

50. I have some Branca, and actually own ELP's 70s stuff on vinyl

Yeah, I went through a big progrock period in my mid-teens, after I got bored with heavy metal. Own every Yes, Genesis and ELP record made up to 1980 on vinyl.

Branca would do the trick nicely, IMHO. That's on CD, too, so it wouldn't need to be converted, either.

[jukes]

49. i think clipping

the membrane at the base of the tongue wd be sufficient. i believe in snuff as a last resort, or for pure fun!

[Sugar Smack]

52. If I could find some *really subtle* way of doing that I'd

do it in a heartbeat. I shall put it on the back burner for the moment.

[jukes]

56. happy hour

walk him/her to car, then hit them in the bicep w/ 2 mg of ketamine IM. you can have your way w/ them for app 2 hours!

[Sugar Smack]

57. You are my new god.

:o

[jukes]

59. PM me if

you nd a clean source for ketamine!


kind of fun stuff, too.....



:rofl:

[realisticphish]

53. Bah

that's NOTHING.

There's a guy I know who CONSTANTLY makes cricket noises.

I'm a sworn enemy of crickets as it is, the little bastards. But to watch someone do it DELIBERATELY, incessantly...

:grr:

[Sugar Smack]

54. what the

How does he do that? That is perfectly AWFUL! How shall we punish him?

:nuke: :grr:

[realisticphish]

55. I say

feed him to a lizard :evilgrin:

and fuck knows how he does it. Probably sold his soul to satan for the ability.

[Blue_Tires]

58. bring it

and if you're coming for me, make sure you have fingers on BOTH triggers!:hi: :hide:

[Sugar Smack]

61. Come here. I have a little present for you. You'll like it.

:spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank:

[reyd reid reed]

60. Yup...in my considered opinion...

Definitely.

:insert shameless self-promotion here:

Yankee Doodle

Steve whistled. In the end, that's what did it. When he worked, when he read, when he was in the bathroom, he whistled. He whistled along with the radio. He whistled when he was deep in thought and he whistled when he was bored. At first, it was endearing. She thought it was cute.

When she was eighteen.

After fifteen years of it though, it was fingernails on a chalkboard. And the worst part of it was that he didn't even know he did it. When she mentioned it, he was always surprised. And when she told him that he even did it during their most intimate moments, he flat out denied it.

"I do not!"

"You don't believe me? What…you want me to tape you? Other women get, 'Oh, Susie,' or 'Oh, baby,' or even 'Oh, God.' What do I get? Fucking 'Yankee Doodle'."

"I do not!"

She couldn't get him to believe her. Even when she taped him, he denied it. It was a defective tape. She'd edited it. She PMS-ing. She wanted to emasculate him and it wasn't going to work, damn it.

It wasn't him. It couldn't be him.

Except that it was. And it was going to stop. Today. Now.

June heard the crunch of gravel in the driveway and the car door slam. The garage opened and then it came. The whistling.

Fucking "Yankee Doodle."

June lifted the skillet and waited…

It was going to stop. The doorknob turned.

Now.

:end shameless self-promotion:

I've given this some thought....

[Sugar Smack]

62. *gasp* We're not worthy! Great story!

:applause: :applause:

The deneument was the most wonderful:

"June heard the crunch of gravel in the driveway and the car door slam. The garage opened and then it came. The whistling.

Fucking "Yankee Doodle."

June lifted the skillet and waited…

It was going to stop. The doorknob turned.

Now."




:rofl: I salute you.

[reyd reid reed]

65. Heh

Thank you.

:evilgrin:

[merh]

66. ..

:hug:

[Sugar Smack]

67. *ee!*

:D :hi: :yourock:

[Dangerously Amused]

68. A raging sugar buzz, really bad PMS

...and temporary insanity have already been used successfully in homicide defenses. So I see no reason why whistle-driven madness couldn't also work.


:7

[Sugar Smack]

71. Honestly! Who TWEETS?

And who would really miss him? :evilgrin:

[BikeWriter]

69. It's grounds for firing for hitting your boss for whistling...

I've seen it happen!

[Sugar Smack]

72. He's not my boss.

Thank GOD!

[BikeWriter]

75. Ask him if he can whistle with a fat lip, then offer...

to give him one. That's what happened to the boss I saw get punched.

[Sugar Smack]

78. I'm going to ask him to try whistling "Flight of the Bumblebee",

then I'll walk away while he's marveling at his handiwork. THAT should keep him occupied. :thumbsup:

Back up a second; you saw a boss get punched?!? :wow:

[BikeWriter]

84. The "Green Hornet" theme song, heh? Sounds like a plan. Yep...

It was about thirty years ago, and we were working for a city fire department. One guy got fed up with his Captain's compulsive whistling. He asked him if he could do that with a fat lip, then gave him one!

[In_The_Wind]

70. maybe

but not today www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=5052777&mesg_id=5052777

[Sugar Smack]

73. Ooo! Hello@!

Thanks for the reminder, luv.:smoke:

[In_The_Wind]

74. toodles

[rug]

77. Giving him a peanut butter sandwich would be more humane.

[Sugar Smack]

79. Humane. Thank you. I needed "humane" in my arsenal.

:bounce: Thank you, rug, for your wise advice.

[bridgit]

80. alright-alright!!!! what...tune, or tunes is, or are they whistling...

:shrug:

[Sugar Smack]

81. None. None at all. None. No tune-

just straightshot into psychosis, as though saying "Welcome. Abandon hope, all ye who enter here". Trill whistles, that sort of thing. Tuneless and constant. Fuck it all, I'm going to boil some potatoes.


BTW: :loveya:

[bridgit]

82. nothing? nada? zip-zero-zilch? just random ka-noodle-esque...

tootling? just fucking whistling?!? like some errant, lost in freaking pines bullshit song-less bird brained song bird!?!?! IF THAT?? well...

that crap-head's gotta go DOWN, homey x(

:-)

[Sugar Smack]

83. Baby , Thank you.

Jeebus, but were my ears getting annoyed! :nuke: :loveya: :hug:

I loves me bridgit!