You Asked How At the end there were straws
in her glove compartment, I'd split them open
to taste the familiar bitter residue, near the end
I ate all her Percodans, hungry to know
how far they could take me.
A bottle of red wine each night moved her along
as she wrote, I feel too much, again and again.
You asked how and I said, Suicide, and you asked
how and I said, An overdose, and then
she shot herself, and your eyes filled
with wonder, so I added, In the chest, so you
wouldn't think
her face was gone, and it mattered, somehow,
that you knew this. . .
Every year I'm eight years old and the world
is no longer safe. Our phone becomes unlisted, our mail
is kept in a box at the post office,
and my mother tells me always
leave a light on so it seems
someone is home. She finds a cop
for her next boyfriend, his hair
greasy, pushed back with his fingers. He lets me play
with his service revolver while they kiss
on the couch. Cars slowly fill the windows, and I aim,
making the noise with my mouth, in case it's them,
and when his back is hunched over her I aim
between his shoulder blades, silently,
in case it's him.
Nick Flynn********************
Nick Flynn (born 1960) is an American writer and poet. He was born and grew up in Scituate, Massachusetts, south of Boston. His parents divorced when he was young and his mother committed suicide when he was 22. He drifted through several jobs before starting work at a homeless shelter in Boston. It was there at age 27 that he met his estranged, homeless father for the first time. Nick Flynn earned an Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing from New York University.
Flynn's works have appeared in The New Yorker, The Nation, Fence, The New York Times, and The Paris Review. He has written two collections of poetry: Blind Huber and Some Ether. He also authored A Note Slipped Under the Door with Shirley McPhillips. His poem, "Bag of Mice", won the "Discovery"/The Nation Award in 1999 leading to the publication of his first book of poems, Some Ether. His first book of poems also won the inaugural PEN/Joyce Osterweil Award and was a finalist for the L.A. Times Book Prize. "Bag of Mice" deals with his mother's suicide. In 2001, he won the Amy Lowell Poetry Travelling Scholarship.
Most recently he wrote Another Bullshit Night in Suck City, an account of his tumultuous early life and relationship with his father.
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RL
If you have a request for a certain Poet, post their name in the thread and I will find a poem by them and post it...
if you want to see some of my poetry, see the blog at:
http://www.myspace.com/retropaul