This makes me so sad... Please respond.

[sistersofmercy]

I was going through papers, mail, etc. and found an annual request for an adopt a family program, the request, a hat and gloves for a four year old boy. That's it. A hat and gloves. What kind of society do we live in when any parent of a four year old needs to request such things? Is this the democracy we will import to Iraq? Afghanistan?
Such a simple request but what a profound statement it makes about our society. It makes me weep! Does this child have a coat? Enough to eat? I will never know the answer.
Of course, I will give more than just the hat and gloves. What toy should I give? Something that doesn't require batteries, I suppose.

I'd like suggestions about a toy or something else or both.

[greatauntoftriplets]

1. A toy for a four-year-old boy?

The triplets include two boys, aged 3. Toy trucks, anything Bob the Builder, toy tools, books (hopefully he likes to be read to).

And, yes, sistersofmercy, we live in such a society.

[sistersofmercy]

3. Thank you for responding!

I have never gotten such a simple request, never! I like the book suggestion I'll probably put a book in the package with a toy and hat and gloves.

[greatauntoftriplets]

7. You are welcome.

I am something of an expert on boys of about that age, though ours love to be read to. Within 15 minutes of their arriving at my house on Thanksgiving, I had two boys on my lap with competing books they wanted me to read. Although I was cooking dinner, I had to give directions to everyone else. And when a friend arrived, I had to order someone to please open the door -- since I was otherwise engaged.

That is very nice of you to do this. My company every year does a Christmas grab-bag of toys that are sent to needy children. When this was first proposed (vs. doing the old grab bag for us) I was shocked at how many people opposed it. Sadly, there are people who used to participate when they got something out of it, but no longer do.

[sistersofmercy]

14. What a wonderful Great Aunt of Triplets you must be!

Yes, some view giving as encouraging bad behaviors, I'm not sure how they arrived at that opinion. Charity is taught in all religions. Thanks Again.

[WindRavenX]

2. Teddy bear or some stuffed animal

Kids need to having something warm and fuzzy to hug and squeeze when they are afraid or scared.
When I buy toys for kids, I always buy a lion for kids...

[sistersofmercy]

5. Why a lion?

[WindRavenX]

6. lions are symbols of courage + protection

A lot of the kids really do seem to feel better with a lion stuffed animal.
I know, stupid, but since it seems to work, I keep doing it.

[sistersofmercy]

16. That's what I thought.

Thanks!

[bluestateguy]

4. Kind fo hard when you don't know his likes or dislikes

See if you can get the organization to find out more about what he might like.

Where I live we have a program every winter called "Coats for Kids", basically to give free coats to children for the holidays. Well a few years back some old bag wrote a letter to the newspaper calling the program "socialistic", and suggesting that it would only promote "welfare dependency", and that children and their parents had to learn to provide for themselves rather than expecting other people to do it for them. Upon reading this piece I lost my appetite for the rest of the day. The letters poured in by the hundreds attacking this woman for weeks, and donations soared.

[sistersofmercy]

10. What knid of sicko would think giving a child a coat is a bad thing?

Yes, we have "coats for kids" and toy drives. This request just got to me. A hat and gloves, I'm still crying, no child should be without such a simple, inexpensive thing, not one! It's cold here.

[childslibrarian]

8. Legos

All kids like Leggos and they are creative. Books about vehicles, trucks, cranes, etc. I see this age group frequently. Anything by Dr. Seuss---

[sistersofmercy]

20. Legos...

is a great suggestion but I don't know about younger siblings. A vehicle of some sort would be good.

[ornotna]

35. They make legos just for young kids

called duplo, great for the little ones.

[mndemocrat_29]

9. Books

Junie B. Jones is very popular right now, or possibly those books that make sounds. Or you could go for one of the classics, like Dr. Seuss.

[tnlefty]

11. For years my church has helped the families in our area whose kids

are in Head Start. Clothing items for the kids and toothbrushes, toothpaste, etc., household products and food donations for the entire families. A local tv station has had a "coats for kids" campaign in which outgrown coats are taken to area drycleaners, cleaned and then distributed to those who need them.

Along with the other toys mentioned - building toys are good, too.

[C_eh_N_eh_D_eh]

12. Talk to the family first.

My dad told me a story about how his unit all chipped in for one of these things a few years back. Not knowing what to get this poor family, they decided to call up the father and ask if there was anything in particular they needed.

"Well, we've already got a TV and a VCR. I guess the kids could use a Nintendo..."

[sistersofmercy]

18. I don't really care if the family has...

a tv or vcr, the four year old needs a hat and gloves, I'm thinking about him.

[Kamika]

19. There is a point to be found in his post

See, if they have a tv and a vcr.. they can afford a hat and gloves

[sistersofmercy]

21. But that would be assuming something I do not know!

I do not believe that everyone is trying to milk the system. Even if the parents are too selfish to buy the child a hat and gloves, I do not care! I don't think that is the case here, though.

[Kamika]

23. well it cant hurt to check up on it

Maybe they found the hat and only need the gloves now

[sistersofmercy]

36. Although...

normally, I'd find that humorous, Ok, I sort of did, but a hat and gloves? How can one interpret wrong with this? I'm volunteering to do more, it was not asked of me.

[Kamika]

40. I'm not saying theres something wrong..

just saying to check up on it thats all.. maybe they already got it from someone else

[sistersofmercy]

44. No

that's not how this one works. My other request with the same program but different family is for a gift certificate. Which I will also do.

[travisleit01]

24. Good for you!

Chances are they probably DON'T have a tv/vcr, you just hear those stories to try to discourage people from being generous. If they took the trouble of letting someone know they needed that stuff, then you are doing a wonderful thing buying them. The four-year-old will thank you.

[sistersofmercy]

46. And what I wonder is...

How many families are too proud to ask? But it's not about pride if a child needs something and no one but stupid f***s would think otherwise (meaning the fascist f***s who seek to do away with giving because they don't think it's PC). I'm sick of people who would imply a family in need is somehow bad.

[Lars39]

27. A tv and vcr might be in the finances one year and basics like a coat

not be the next, or 3 yrs down the road for that matter.

[Kamika]

29. yes ofcourse

But in that case you sell the vcr. You shouldn't ask for charity until you REALLY need it

[Lars39]

33. The same vcr that you play educational videos on that you check out

from the library?

[Kamika]

37. c'mon

give me a break lol..

You can watch it at the library aha!

[Lars39]

39. Not at my pisspoor library you can't.

Methinks you're a hothouse flower who has never gone hungry,cold or without much needed medical attention in your life.

[Kamika]

41. well ok

You're correct.

But I have also helped out alot of ppl at my churchs volunteer shelter, so I'm entitled to speak

[LosinIt]

65. So helping at your church entitles you to put down people who needed help?

Perhaps you should get to the basics of what I assume is a Christian church. Jesus Christ didn't wonder why people were in need, he simply helped. Organized religion seems to forget that sometimes. Unless you have ever had to decide whether to pay the bills or buy groceries, you have no right to judge. So somebody had a VCR and a TV, you begrudge them that?? So they should sell the VCR, for what? $20? Wow, that's gonna help a lot. Oh, I forgot, then they can go to the library and watch the tapes. Get real, get out of your cocoon and look around.

[sistersofmercy]

54. I totally agree and THANK YOU for pointing that out.

Especially in these changing times, there are more families in need than before.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

60. The TV and VCR may be their only entertainment

The TV and VCR may have been given to them or bought at a thrift shop.

Geez, even a DVD player costs less than $100 these days.

Besides, kids grow. They can't wear the same clothes or even accessories for ten years the way adults can.

[corarose]

13. That is so sad

When I went to the main Post Office in Chicago yesterday they had bins.

I picked up a letter and took it home and I am going to buy the Barbie that the kid wants. I can do without gloves myself in order to give a kid something that it needs.

I found a Senior Citizens letter that was a bit greedy and I was surprised and I am not sure if it was a joke or what. She wanted a new living room set because her set was dirty and she couldn't stand looking at it anymore.
Have you ever laughed out loud when you are alone and looked like a nut? Well, I did because I have been without furniture before and a dirty set would have been better then nothing.

I wanted to buy a Senior something because they are less likely to get a gift.


God Bless

[sistersofmercy]

31. That's ...

so nice of you to do so, the Barbie, that is. I think the furniture set was a joke.
Me, I'd laughed out loud on that one too!


"Be mindful of the needs of others." I take to heart. Pax!

[corarose]

38. I don't have anyone to buy for

So I can spare $10.00 bucks for a Barbie. I will have to give up a few bus fares to do it and that's not giving up that much. I wanted to pull another name out of the bin but I couldn't find anything cheap enough that I could afford to buy.

I have no one to buy for and it feels good to give someone needy a gift that will appreciate it.

Last Christmas I overhead my Dad and Sister bitching about me not having anything under the "tree" and complaining that I would be upset if they didn't get me anything. My Sister took the cash that he gave her and she bought me a sweater in a size small and last Christmas I weighed around 200 pounds so a size small was a bit too small. Christmas ended for me last year. It actually ended when my Mom died. When I give a gift it is from my heart and not because it makes me feel better.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

56. Cora, you are the sweetest thing...

:hug:
Duckie

[sistersofmercy]

59. I'll second that!

:hug:

[Myra]

15. Yup, all I can do is echo your question.

eom

[Lydia Leftcoast]

17. We do live in such a society

My church set up a gift giving tree for the people who come to our free meal program. Most of the requests by adults were for gift certificates to local grocery stores. :-(

[sistersofmercy]

32. ....

:( Sad so sad.

[WWW]

22. I belong to the local relief organization

One family last Christmas put in three requests under three different names so their children would get triple the number of toy boxes we give out..I told my kids this, ( cause I was really pissed) and they thought it was so much sadder that a family would lie like this and to just brush it off...The best gift is a gift certificate at the local clothing or book store.

[sistersofmercy]

48. I don't know

I just look at it differently. Yes the family was wrong for doing what you tell but it was for their child. I agree with your children.

[sam sarrha]

25. propably work gloves for working for a Walmart sweatshop, hat for working

in the sun and rain.

[sistersofmercy]

47. ....

Well it's for here in the US. But I do know where you're coming from and will not buy the items at Wal-mart.

[HawkerHurricane]

26. The Marines are out

for the 'Toys for Tots' campaign.
Please donate if you see them.

[sistersofmercy]

50. OK

I give to Toys for Tots every year. Hi from St Louis!:hi:

[dweller]

28. We are a society of waste

while many want. For a great example, travel to your local recycling/dump occasionally. Especially after the X-mas season. Among the ton of gift wrap and bows and cardboard will be many, many perfectly good usable items, clothing, toys that just got replaced under someone's tree, and so they throw the outdated out to be buried in a landfill.
Hell, i have even seen the unopened items dumped, never taken out of packages...not what was wanted i guess, and too big of a hassle to return.

a nation of glut and waste, while people go hungry and cold.
it's very saddening, sister.
dp

[sistersofmercy]

51. yes...

I agree. Pax

[populistmom]

30. I think about 1/3 of our children live in poverty

One of the little things I do, instead of selling my children's clothes on Ebay or consignment to make a few extra bucks, is I always either give them to a social service church type organization or the Salvation Army. Every year, each child will go to a "giving tree" we have at our church and each of my children buys a Christmas present for another child who needs more. I'm not rich, but I'm more blessed than probably 98 or 99% of the world and materialism is frankly too abundant in our society and makes me sick. We all need to do whatever little things we can do.
Then again, if less money was spent on weaponry to kill children in other nations, we could afford to feed and cloth all of our own properly.
As for a gift, as the mom of little boys, I'd have to say you usually can't go wrong with Legos (I'd still get the big Duplo ones in case he has siblings who could choke on the little ones) or Hotwheels/Matchbox cars.

[sistersofmercy]

52. Thanks...

We should all do what we can for those less fortunate and you are certainly doing your part. I think Legos is what I will go with since you and a few others suggested it. Thanks again.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

34. We adopt a family every year through a local charity

We give them OUR number to contact us to find out the kid's names so we can personalize their gifts. We have even done the same family twice.

To the poster above who commented about the TV and VCR...there is SO much assumed in that post it would take me a year to respond and it isn't worth it. Should we take away the TV"s of people who are hurting financially simply so they can prove they are poor?

[sistersofmercy]

43. some are different...

One I do is for dinner and a gift for a family member but this one is kind of assigned, usually the request is for other things. The other request I got with the same program wants a gift certificate. I don't know, it just breaks me heart that's all.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

45. It breaks my heart too but I also find it humbling to be with people

who are so thankful for the kindnesses that come their way. It reminds me that my life is quite charmed even when I am not feeling as though it is. It reminds me any of us can meet with a simple twist of fate.

[sistersofmercy]

49. I understand that...

I gave to a program last year through the United Way for working families who just can't afford those extras. I met the father when he came to pick up some things and was left with a feeling of I could have done more. Also, that I'm a total ingrate sometimes.

[sistersofmercy]

58. BTW

Good for you for giving in a time where there are more families in need. Pax

[NightTrain]

42. Reminds me of when I was a childcare volunteer at a...

...battered women's shelter.

I was there from 1991-94 and heard some pretty horrific stories, not so much about poverty, but about the abuse those women and their kids endured before they ended up at the shelter. Heartbreaking, to say the least!

[sistersofmercy]

55. I can't even imagine.

I feel for anyone in that situation. I am grateful there those like yourself to help.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

53. Thanks, Sistersofmercy for reminding us what Christmas is about...

And reminding us that there are people who have it worse than we do. I was thinking the other day about what I want for Christmas. If I could get nothing and that little boy everything, I'd gladly give up Christmas for the rest of my life. That makes me so sad.
Duckie

[sistersofmercy]

57. Your welcome...

Dolefully. Me too, mon ami, me too. Honestly for X-mas all I want is peace for someone, for children, children everywhere. That's it! Simple yet not. X-mas is for the children, peace and giving.

[sistersofmercy]

61. Thank you from the bottom of my heart to all who responded!

It meant a great deal to me. I'll be buying along with the hat and gloves, an appropriate Lego item, a book and a stuffed animal. Perhaps a truck or something like it as well. Spread the giving. Pax

[amandae]

63. My parents found a gift for my 17 month old that might work ...

It is a dump truck filled with MegaBlocks (large legos for small kids, like Duplo) that also comes with some people to play with.

What a kind heart you have! It upsets me so much that our society isn't as generous as it could be (we are such a very wealthy society!). My mom is a postal worker and every year participates with the postal food drive in May ... each year the wealthiest houses give the least ... the people who probably are digging into their much needed food supplies are the ones that give the most ... there is something seriously wrong with some people in our country.

I feel honored to be surrounded by such caring DUers :loveya:

[Tinoire]

62. Family Giving Tree

is an amazing organization that does a lot of good for underprivileged children in the Bay Area.

Most children ask for toys but some will break your heart for asking for items of clothing right down to underwear.

Please visit if you can. I personally vouch for this organization- I've lassoed my entire company into doing this for 3 years now and go down to their warehouse often.

Make a child's dream come true :)

http://www.familygivingtree.org/

On edit: Thanks for a beautiful thread DU!

[Valerie5555]

64. 4 words Shirley Hughes Kids' books (though she's from the UK I believe)

Am sure little kids like her books for they like reading about and looking at pictures of what other little kids are doing.


She is the author of the "Alfie" series about the young lad and though I accidentally found out about her through Amazon.co.uk, I am sure some American bookseller may know of her.

[grasswire]

66. thank you sisters of mercy...

....for demonstrating Democratic values. :-)

Something else you might tuck in is crayons and a paper pad.

My former mother-in-law grew up very poor, and one day (she was about 65) she confessed that she had never had a new box of crayons in her life. I put some in her next Christmas stocking and she bawled like a baby, even though by that time she was quite wealthy. Those childhood hurts are never forgotten.

[Kanary]

67. Here's what my son liked

I was also going to suggest the books.... so many kids have never had their very own book, and it can mean a lot to them.

When my son was that age, his happiest possession was something that went everywhere with him.... we got him a very small soft-sided "suitcase", and it carried a couple of books and his Matchbox trucks everywhere. When we were going somewhere in the car, he would pick out which books and trucks he wanted to take that time, stuff them in the little suitcase (just large enough for books... very small), and he was happy as a clam.

What you're doing is great! You will have the satisfaction of knowing the child is warm in his hat and gloves, and has something to read and play with. That's the merriest holiday of all!

Kanary

[wa state wanderer]

68. Matchbox, Hotwheels, and legos

That is what I put into the boxes every year.

[grasswire]

69. welcome to DU, wa state!

I hope your stay on this site is informative and rewarding!

[Valerie5555]

70. "Outriggers"

Wondered if a "monetarily challenged" family ever requested "outriggers," which were basically forearm crutches attatched to skis for their kid who is involved in a ski program for the "specially abled" or individuals challenged by disabilites because of cerebral palsy, muscular dystrophy, leg amputations or something, but I am sure those sorts of programs no doubt had the specialized equipment the kid could rent as well as possibly some sort of grant to cover "sign up fees," rentals etc if the family couldn't afford them.