Thank you, DUers, for your well-wishes, thoughts, and prayers.

[Maddy McCall]

My father is home today. We are at present making the decision on where we go from here.

The small hospital where my father has been for the past two days is not well known for diagnostics--but they did do tests. (Same hospital where I had an x-ray several years ago after an ATV accident--they sent me home, said no broken bones. Two days later, I was up on my foot and limping around, and they called to say that my x-rays had been re-read and indeed I had a broken bone in my foot, and to get off of it and keep it up. Same hospital when they diagnosed my son with a stomach virus when he was two-years-old, and two days later a large hospital in Jackson diagnosed him with intussusception--he almost died. Same hospital that told me I didn't need surgery on my broken knee after a go-cart wreck a couple of years ago, and I almost lost my lower leg because a vein was clamped shut between the broken bones...only telling y'all all of this because this demonstrates why I have ZERO faith in this hospital.)

To make a long story short, we didn't get any answers. The staff physician who treated my father was a smug, stuck-up asshole who wouldn't respond to questions asked by my mother or me. I asked why his blood pressure was still 190/110 six hours after he entered the hospital, and the doctor just kinda shrugged and then said, "Anxiety caused by the event." Uh huh. I asked him to explain my father's loss of strength on his right side. He just refused to answer me. He ignored me. (I could go on about feeling condescended to, but this isn't about me, it's about my father. Medical doctors in our little town have an air of superiority--especially when dealing with uppity women asking questions of them.)

To say that we have no faith in this hospital is an understatement. Yet, when my dad exhibited symptoms, he had to be taken somewhere quick, and that's why he ended up there. If I had been home (I was at work almost two hours away) when symptoms began, I'd have loaded him up in my car, and driven him to Ochsners in NOLA--could have made it there in an hour or less, with me driving. But I wasn't here, so my input wasn't considered in the decision.

Forgive me for rambling...it's been an exhausting two days. Our family will get together at five to decide our next step. I'm pushing for a visit to the staff cardiologist at Ochsners.

Dad wants me to come over now and drive him to the co-op so that he can get some tomato plants. I told him I'd do it, only if he sits on the porch when we get back and watches me plant the tomatoes...that he's not coming down to the garden.

Dad seems fine, except for the weakness and a minor loss of coordination. He said that his head still feels like it's got pressure on it. That scares me more than anything, and makes me think that he should still be in a hospital SOMEWHERE instead of in his recliner at home.

DUers, thanks so much for your well-wishes, sweet thoughts and words, and prayers. At this point, I only ask that you continue to keep us in your thoughts, as we decide which direction we go next.

Love you all, and appreciate your concern more than these few typed words can ever express.

:loveya:

[Midlodemocrat]

1. Maddy, did they check for an infarct?

[Maddy McCall]

5. Midlo, here are the tests they did.

EKG
Echocardiogram
Carotid Artery sonogram
CAT scan
MRI

The doctor told my father that he has some blockage in one of the arteries in his neck. He said the rest of his tests, "look better than my own (meaning the doctor's own).

Again, I pressed for specifics. He flat out refused to respond to me.

Therefore, we still don't know what kind of "mild stroke" my father had.

I am going to push like crazy tonight to take dad on to NOLA--the doctors there can order the test images done at the small hospital, and they can read them. I won't be happy until we have a second opinion from an esteemed hospital staff.

[Midlodemocrat]

9. You are doing the right thing by pushing to have him examined by

someone else. If he indeed did have a stroke, it would show up on the MRI as an infarct.

The fact that they didn't say anything about that is a good thing.

[Maddy McCall]

15. Is that the same thing as a "TIA?"

The doctor said that there were no "TIAs" in the MRI. Again, though, the people who read images at this hospital are the same who have never gotten it right in other instances in our family.

When I was pregnant with MMjr. I started spotting late in my first trimester, so I went to this hospital's ER. My blood test showed that I was very pregnant, but the sonographer who performed the sonogram on me said that I had lost the baby, that there was a mass with no heartbeat. Can you imagine lying on a gurney, emotionally dealing with a miscarriage, only to have the OB-GYN come in, berate the sonographer in front of you? The OB-GYN then did a vaginal sonogram, and she found the beating heart.

Maybe the tests on my father have been read correctly. But it's just that doubt caused by past experiences with staff at this hospital that keeps needling me--and prompting me to take him somewhere better.

:hug:

[FuzzySlippers]

20. A TIA is a transient ischemic attack.

It's a stroke that lasts for only a few minutes.

http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/tia/tia.htm

[Midlodemocrat]

24. And usually doesn't leave behind any lasting damage.

The problem with TIAs is that generally they are a warning signal that a 'big one' is in the offing.

[Maddy McCall]

28. See--this should have been explained to us.

And it is why I want to talk to a doctor who will listen to me and respond to my questions.

:(

[Blue Diadem]

41. Yes..my dad had one several months before his big one

It mostly affected his vision on one side and it was blown off by his doctor. My neighbor also had several TIA's before her large stroke, passing out and weakness with her blood pressure sky high.

[Maddy McCall]

25. Thanks, Fuzzy.

I haven't done any internet research. I will certainly go look at that link.

I wonder how imaging can tell if there's been a TIA?

[FuzzySlippers]

36. I think an MRI can detect very small infarcts.

Did a radiologist read the tapes or just asshole doctor?

[Maddy McCall]

37. We don't know.

Again, this is a question I would have asked, had the doctor been responsive to me.

:(

[Shakespeare]

39. Maddy, when you take him to NOLA, get them to recheck...

...or re-do the carotid sonogram. My husbands mom's family has a history of carotid "strokes" and other problems there; they're notoriously difficult to detect, and (at least in our experience) present with weird, weird symptomology.

It's encouraging that the doc you took him to at least thought to DO a carotid sonogram, because that's often overlooked. Best thoughts & wishes to all y'all. Keep us posted on how your dad does.

[Maddy McCall]

40. Shakespeare, I just printed out your post.

Will take it to the "fambly meetin" tonight to show my parents that further testing is needed.

THANKS!!!

Gotta run. :loveya: :hug:

[progmom]

2. thanks for the update, maddy

and you remain in our thoughts. it must be a scary time, but your dad is lucky to have you to make sure he gets the care he needs.

:hug:

[Maddy McCall]

7. Thanks, progmom.

I don't know if you were a member of DU when we went through cancer with my father...it knocked me off of kilter for a year.

Nothing is worse than watching a parent suffer---well, I take that back...seeing my son writhing in pain from the intussusception was the worst thing I ever experienced--I think it's worse with a parent, because they can put up formidible opposition to decisions made by their children, whereas when you are dealing with your child, you make a decision and that's it.

I'm going to push like crazy with Pop this afternoon that he go on to Ochsner. We've got to do something to allow our minds to rest--until we get an informed second opinion, I am going to worry.

:hug:

[progmom]

13. I wasn't here for that

Wow.

I have been lucky so far with my parents. My mom's cancer was when I was a year old, and she's been lucky enough never to have a recurrence.

Progspawn has had his share of ER visits, most recently for almost biting his tongue off (bit clean through it, but luckily only with his two front teeth, so it only took 3 stitches). But nothing like you described with your son.

I know you're a very strong woman, but this kind of thing can make even the strongest person feel lost. Make sure you lean on your friends and family...and don't forget to eat and sleep. :hug:

[Maddy McCall]

16. Health is a fragile thing.

I am happy for you that your mom is still in recurrence. She is very fortunate.

Is your son's tongue ok today? Caused no speech problems or anything?

Right now, it's my turn for my family to lean on me. I just wish that they'd hand over all of their decision-making power to me so that I could take Dad on to a good hospital and end all of the speculation about the tests.

:)

[AirmensMom]

3. Oh, Maddy, what an ordeal!

I certainly hope you can get some answers! I will definitely keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.

:loveya: :hug: :grouphug:

[Maddy McCall]

8. Thank you very much...

We appreciate everyone's concern here. :hug:

[miss_american_pie]

4. Your dad is in my thoughts

I hope you get some answers quickly. :hug:

[Maddy McCall]

10. Thank you, miss pie.

Yes, no one is going to sleep well until we have answers from experts in their fields.

My dad saw not a single specialist at the hospital. Only this one little GP prick who appeared to feel that questions about my father's health were challenges to his authority.

Answers are what we need. Please continue to think of us and the answers we need.

:hug:

[uppityperson]

6. Thanks for the report, hang in there

Yes, get him checked out by someone good soon. Glad you had a nearby emergency place to take him to, get him checked out more soon. Hugs to you.

[Maddy McCall]

12. Thank you, up.

If I had my opinion were the only one to be considered in this, I'd load Dad into the car, and we'd be in a specialist's office in an hour.

But I'm an adult daughter, and so there are three other people who have opinions in my family--and I have to be considerate of their wishes.

:hug:

[merh]

21. Maddy

there are times when adult children have to take on the role of the adult for their parents and this is one of those times for you.

My father was told by Keesler that they had to do invasive surgery because they failed to adequately test him to determine the cause of his symptoms, they just assumed with his age and the symptoms it was prostrate cancer and they were going to cut him open to deal with it. He was 67 years old and not in the best of shape to be facing major surgery.

I insisted on the second opinon, made the appointment for him, boxed up his meds and took him to the private doctor. That doctor listened to his symptoms, reviewed his meds prescribed at Keesler and realized that his meds were conflicting with one another and some were not to be given to folks over 65. The doctor also did other tests and was able to help my dad without performing unnecessary surgery and my dad lived for another 5 years without that surgery and in better health.

Sometimes, we have to be the adult, they get tired of making all the decisions and they are scared too.

You and yours are in my prayers, dear friend. :hug:

:grouphug:

[Maddy McCall]

26. Thanks for this, merh.

Yes--but even though I'm 40, my parents seem to have a hard time realizing that I'm a responsible adult with the mental abilities to help them make decisions like this.

I would literally have to subdue my mother and kidnap my father to do what you suggested in your first post. LOL. Wish I could somehow use suggestive psychology to plant the idea in their mind that what I want to do is the only way.

:pals:

[merh]

29. I'll come help!

:pals: Call on me at anytime, day or night, if I can be of any help sweetie or if you just need to talk.

:hug: :loveya:

[merh]

11. Tell DaddyMcCall that you are going for the tomato plants

and then drive straight on to Oschners - no more fooling around, get him to a real facility staffed with folks that care. That smug shit should never have sent him home with the same symptoms he went in with.

Please Maddy, take him to Oschners. At worst, you and your family will be forced to eat some food in NOLA while tests are being performed.

:hug:

[Maddy McCall]

18. Hi, sweetheart.

Indeed! We could have oyster po-boys at Acmes while dad was receiving excellent care...not a bad trade-off, is it?

I'd even be happy if he'd agree to go to Forrest General or UMC. Anywhere but the little hick shithole hospital where we've been with no answers.

Dad wouldn't fall for the tomato/Ochsners trick, unfortunately. But that is a good idea! :D

:loveya: :hug:

[merh]

27. I have tried to call you sugah, just to say hey and

let you know that you guys are in my prayers. :hug:

Get him to another facility. Tell him that this is not just about him, that it affects all of you and he just needs to be a sport and go for another opinion.

And point out that at least while he is at Oschners, you guys can get a nice meal. Personally, I'd have to go for the chicken gumbo at the Jax brewery and sit out by the river, drinking a bloody mary. :D

:hug:

[Maddy McCall]

32. I had my cell phone off while I was at the hospital.

I talked briefly to NSMA yesterday morning when I made a run to McDonalds. She gave me some excellent advice on questions for the doctor, requests for certain tests, etc.

Problem was--the doctor was a smug jerk and wouldn't even look at me when I talked to him, and refused to answer my questions with anything more than standard fluff answers.

I have to be back at mom and dad's at four to take my dad to the co-op. If I don't show up, he just might get in the truck and drive himself there, so I'd better get on the ball.

I will call you when things settle down...if we don't go to Ochsners tonight--I'll call you later.

:hug: :loveya:

[supernova]

14. One request: put the chair in the garden

LOL! If he's anything like my dad was, I'm sure just sitting on the porch will be unbearable. :-)

Keeping you and your dad in my thoughts. :pals:

[Maddy McCall]

19. It's just too hot out there.

Let me add something here. The doctor that I mentioned in my OP told my father--who still had very high blood pressure and a feeling of pressure in the top of his head--that he can "resume normal activities, and see his family doctor on Monday."

:grr:

So now Dad wants to work the garden, till his neighbor's garden, and shovel rocks (4 tons, mind you!) around the pool. The doctor has no perception of what my 76-year-old father considers "normal activities."

:) :hug:

[FuzzySlippers]

17. I can't believe what an arrogant asshole that doctor was.

Definitely push to take your dad to NOLA. You need answers about what happened and what to do to prevent a recurrence. My dad had a major stroke and a minor one a couple of years after the first. Both times we had him taken to St. Mary's in Rochester,MN (one of the affiliate hospitals of the Mayo Clinic). Get your dad the best care available. And be sure to take care of yourself.:hug:

[Maddy McCall]

23. Hi, Fuzzy....

Yes, that's what I'm pushing for. My parents have no idea how hard I'm going to push at 5:00.

I've already cleaned out my car and gassed it up...checked the oil and water...I'm ready to fly at five.

I'm hoping that we can come to an agreement that will allow all family members to rest well. I haven't slept in three nights--more than a couple of very exhausted hours, anyway--because I keep waiting for "the phone call." It's unnerving.

At least if we can get several specialists to look over the images from the tests at the small hospital, we can rest well knowing that true qualified experts have seen them and either A) agree with the small hospital's diagnosis or B) determine that my father needs further care.

:hug:

[Zomby Woof]

22. Thanks for the update!

We'll be keeping the good thoughts and wishes coming. :loveya:

[Maddy McCall]

33. Thanks you so much, ZW.

Tell nini I said thanks, too.

:hug: :loveya:

[SeattleGirl]

30. I'll continue to keep you and your family in my thoughts, Maddy

I know what it's like when parent isn't well, but you don't know why. Went through that with my mom. I know you are a strong woman, but you know you always have us to lean on when you need to.

Thanks for updating us on your dad. :loveya: :hug:

[Maddy McCall]

34. Thanks, friend.

I appreciate my DU friends and their concern more than I can express.

You are a sweetheart. :hug: :loveya:

[sundog]

31. take care maddy

keeping you in thoughts

[Maddy McCall]

35. Thanks, sundog.

I appreciate it. I have to get all of this family stuff tended to so that I can next focus on SHARK WEEK! :hi: :hug:

[Maddy McCall]

38. GOTTA RUN...won't be able to respond for awhile.

I'll jump back on later, though.

Thanks, DUers, for your concern for my family. :pals: :loveya: :hug:

[nini]

42. Continued healing and strength to you Maddy and Daddy

:loveya:

[Sugar Smack]

43. Maddy, thank you for the update.

You amaze me; your tenacity knows no bounds. I know how you feel about your dad and I'd be worried sick even now. You can count on us for support and love. We'll also be here to distract you, if that's what you need.

:loveya: :hug:

[jus_the_facts]

44. I'm so sorry to hear this MM...good vibes for you and yours....

...haven't been in here much lately and apologize for not havin' known what ya'll are goin' through...sure hope for the best with your Daddy...still miss mine more than mere words could ever convey. :cry: :hug: :loveya:

[Strong Atheist]

45. We are not allowed to give med advice, and I am not qualified, but

I would say:

MORE NEEDS TO BE LOOKED AT, QUICKLY!

Good luck!

[Wapsie B]

46. His head still feels like there's pressure in it?

I'd get him to NOLA NOW. I know what you mean about small hospitals and the mindsets of some.

[Thtwudbeme]

49. As a former (10 years) paramedic

I agree with this post.

[Wapsie B]

51. Wow 10 years?

I salute you. Cranial pressure is nothing to mess around with. No medical advice here, just shoot'n the fecal matter.

[RevCheesehead]

47. You've got tons of good advice here....

Let me just add that sometimes, when dealing with difficult family members, you might want to get a third-party involved.

In one of my not-so-pleasant situations with a church member, they were refusing to go to the doctor, let alone the hospital. I asked if they were certain, and they said "I'm NOT going." So then I said, "well, we might as well go ahead and talk about your funeral arrangements. Do you know what scriptures or hymns you'd like at your service?"

Their eyes got real big, and they said "maybe I should go get this checked out, just to be safe."

Sneaky devil, aren't I? :evilgrin:

[Shine]

48. Thanks for this update, Maddy.

I was thinking of you and your family today, so I'm glad to hear from you and get the status. I will continue to keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there, you uppity woman, you! :hug: :loveya:

[LaurenG]

50. I'm sorry this has been so difficult for all of you

I too will keep you all in my thoughts.:hug:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

52. Tried calling you earlier

I really hope you can get him to go to an internist and a neuro ASAP even if you don't get to NO....his blood pressure really needs to be addressed

You know I am here if you need anything :hug: