The "Worst Baby Name Thread" (Come on, you KNOW you want to!)

[benburch]

What is the WORST/WEIRDEST baby name you have ever heard?


My nomination; "Clitoria"

[RevolutionaryActs]

1. Jermajesty Jackson.

Son of Jermaine Jackson.

[calico1]

2. Triplet girls named:

Lukemia, Anemia and Glaucoma. I am not kidding. This is in the town my parents live in. The woman was fascinated with disease names and thought it would be fun to name her children after diseases. This was a long time ago--maybe 25 years. I have always wondered if those girls changed their names.

[benburch]

3. There ought to be a law! nt

[salin]

5. Yikes!

substitute teacher.... "er... glaucoma?"

"here"...

Yikes!

[no name no slogan]

14. It could be worse. The Rhea family could've named their triplets

Piah, Diah and Ghana.

[dysfunctional press]

27. i knew three sisters named porsche, mercedes, and ferrarri...

their brother's name was...howard.

[MissB]

4. I heard one the other day. Titus.

Yes, Titus.

[DS1]

6. oh shit, I was typing something when i saw

Clitoria

I can't beat that

[fleabert]

45. nosmoking...

pronounced as one word. a legend in KY hospitals from a couple that didn't speak english and took the name from the sign in the birthing room.

edit: oops- replied to the wrong post! sorry!

[NorthernSpy]

63. "Nosmo King" comes from a blackface minstrel act in the 1920s

There was a Nosmo King, but it was a matter of a grown man adopting an unusual stage name, not of an infant being saddled with his mother's stupidity. H. Vernon Watson (b. 1886, d. 1949) was a well-known British music hall artist before World War I. In the early 1920s, Watson did a "blackface" bit under the fanciful name of Nosmo King. The routine went over so well that by 1925 Watson was billed as his onstage persona, Nosmo King.

http://www.snopes2.com/racial/language/names.htm

[fleabert]

66. I never even considered checking snopes on that!

thanks. It was passed as legend in the KY hospitals I worked in as a doula as if it happened there, and they got the name wrong anyway! Blackface, how fitting for a legend that was always attached to minorities in the retelling. :-(

[unsavedtrash]

7. female pronounced fee-mal-e n/t

[borlis]

20. My sister used to work with someone who had a daughter

named Female.

[spindrifter]

61. Honeybunny.

[spindrifter]

60. Lots of Females and Males

in s. Texas.

[DS1]

8. ok, i'll try

Noreally Immassive

Bagodonuts Sprinkles

Trailorhitch Chrome

Raggcum Transposition

[alarimer]

12. I think I get emails from them

Usually they are selling Viaghhhra or Vyoxx (their spelling not mine).

[DS1]

13. Yes, but Raggcum Transposition is more a set of instructions than

a name ;-)

[rambler_american]

78. Biblical Name

I read years ago of a woman who named her son Hallo Ed because it said in the Bible, Hallo Ed be thy name.

[giant_robot]

36. LOL. My friends in Buffalo call "guidos" Joey Bagodonuts n/t

[uppityperson]

9. twin boys: peter and dick

[dysfunctional press]

28. local chicago tv newsguy: dick johnson

the man with the redundant name.

[MiniMandaRuth]

10. Lemonjello (Leh-mon-jeh-low)

Orangejello (Ore-awn-ge-low)

Clhymadia (Pronounced as seen)

Kandalaria (Rhymes with Malaria)

Lady of London (Lady= First name. Of= middle name. London= Last name)

Vagina (Vah-geen-ah)

[colinmom71]

11. Shithead....

Pronounced Shi - thed.

Then there was the cousin of a friend whose mother named her Crystal Shanda. Only problem was their last name was Lear... Crystal Shanda Lear.

[greatauntoftriplets]

15. Harry B. Hynd.

He was the father-in-law of a man my father worked with. Always used his middle initial as in...."Hi, I am Harry B. Hynd. Wanna come up to my place and look at my etchings?"

[Gormy Cuss]

16. There's a Peed Plumbing company in the DC area.

I knew someone with that surname. Can you imagine the cruel taunts from other kids when your name is Susie Peed?

[DesEtoiles]

25. In Ohio there is a Tom Raper Chevrolet

[MountainLaurel]

48. I too knew a Peed

A friend of a roommate. He changed his first and last names when he and his partner had their commitment ceremony. As my roomie put it: "Can you imagine going through life as a gay man with the last name Peed?"

She had a point.

[spacelady]

17. Aryan Justice...saw it in the paper, but can't remember last name. n/t

[fortyfeetunder]

18. If your last name is Head or Hard

Don't name your male child Richard and give him the nick name Dick...and there are a few of these Dick's out there....

[Hardrada]

34. We had a Dick Harder in town here.

He and spouse have since moved to Florida.

[WeRQ4U]

19. Pilot Inspektor

Jason Lee's kid.

Sunny Goggles - graduated with my wife
Eunice Kranchnahble - sweet little old lady from my hometown - RIP

[borlis]

21. twins named L'Emongelo and O'Rangelo

You got it! Lemon Jello and Orange Jello. My niece is a teacher and they were twin boys in her first grade class 2 or 3 years ago.





edited for spelling

[Autonomy]

35. that's strange

my mom told me that her friend here in Delaware is a teacher and had two girls in her class called Lemonjello and Orangejello. Also Female (pronounced Feh-mahl-ee). I wonder if there's not a little urban myth thing going around here.

[Gormy Cuss]

50. Yep, it seems everyone knows someone who knows someone who

knew Lemonjello and Orangejello, and Female. Another one is the kid named Usmail, pronounced Oos-ma-EEL -- the story goes that mom saw the name on the letter carrier's truck.;-) And the 'someone' who knew these kids is almost always a public school teacher or a nurse.

[wickerwoman]

22. In reality

"Quadrijia Buttercup".

I teach ESL and get some pretty fucked up "English Names"

including:
Tempter (a man)
D-BLINK
MyCyan
Jelifen
Passion (a three year old girl)
Bogart
Swarovski (a Chinese woman)
Weinstein (a Chinese man)
"Johnson Wang"
DuoDuo (pronounced DooDoo)
hmily (not a typo of Emily- an acronym for "how much I love you)
lots of men named Sun, Sky, Winter, Crystal...

There's a lot more but I just had coffee...

On edit: I forgot "Gucci"- a guy. I told him he had to change his name for his resume or noone would take him seriously and he came back with "Gucco". The sad thing is when they change to another name, you can't get the daft one out of your head.

[borlis]

23. I forgot one. Tank.

He was on my son's soccer team a few years back. When I asked other parents if that was his nickname they said no. It's his real name.

[dysfunctional press]

24. a friend of mine named their daughter: Candace Lace...

and he was apparently surprised that when she started going by the name Candy in high school...?

[XemaSab]

30. Surefire way to get your daughter on stage or into film...

:hide:

[Oeditpus Rex]

26. Chlamydia

Swear to Dog. I saw it in some paper's birth announcements a few years ago.

[Broken_Hero]

29. During the

elections in 2004, there was a man, with a last name of Buttram...no shit, he was running for some office(can't remember, with a name like Buttram, i know i'm not voting for him). This was in SW Missouri, but its pronounced like...hmm, But-rim...like Butt, and Rim...

[Moosepoop]

31. Kissyfer.

Spelled just like that. He's a boy.

[JVS]

71. That poor bastard!

[CornField]

32. My cousin - Bundra (goes by Bunny)

[Kali]

33. kids at my high school

Harry, Rick (Richard - try a different nick name) and Tom. Sister was Marsha.

Old family friend - Bud Roach. really

Know TWO Dick Richardsons!

[EstimatedProphet]

37. Wolf Blitzer

[Autonomy]

38. Okay, these aren't baby names, just names in general

From "The Best of Uncle John's Bathroom Reader":

Crazy names: Believe it or not, these are actual names of real people.

A. Moron - Virgin Islands

Mrs. Belcher Wack Wack - Belcher was her maiden name; she married Mr. Wack; when he died, she married his brother

Buncha Love - NY

Cardinal Sin - Archbishop of Manila

Cumming & Gooing - business

Hastie Love - convisted rapist serving time in Tennessee

Halloween Buggage - named for the day she was born; her sister's name

Easter Buggage - Halloween's sister

Hyman Pleasure - works for NY State Dept. of Hygiene

Katz Meow - Washington

Lawless & Lynch - law firm

Mary Louise Pantzaroof - Ohio

Original Bug - Liverpool

Goody P. Creep - runs a funeral home

Mrs. Screech - teaches singing in BC, Canada

Mrs. V.D. Whynot - whereabouts unknown

Major Minor - officer in US Army

Plummer & Leek - plumbing firm in Norfolf, England

Suparporn Poopattana - NY

T. Hee - NY

Dr. Zoltan Ovary - gynecologist, of course!

[wickerwoman]

39. That reminds me of my old dentist.

He practices in the most Jewish part of New Jersey and his name was Dr. Gentile.

[REP]

40. Urhines Kendall Icy Eight Special K

www.newbabynews.net/hospitals/stf33/public/stf33birthannouncement.pl?babyID=h33-440 -

Wish I were making it up.

[Seabiscuit]

41. Rugathurd

[WildEyedLiberal]

42. Shithead

Pronounced "Shi-theee-ad."

That poor, poor child.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

52. I heard about someone named that!

:puke:

[Indy_Dem_Defender]

43. A few I know

Harry Butts - actual guy my old man knew I think the guy was cop too.

Harry Crouch - name of a guy my sister went to high school with.

Cereal - this was the name a woman who worked with my mom gave her daughter, she didn't know what to name the baby and she ended up having the kid in the kitchen at her apartment she looks up after giving birth and sees a box of life cereal on top of the frig that's where this kids name came from.

I hear little girls with names like; Dakota, Montana, Nevada, Electra, Alexis, Harmony and the first thing that comes to mind is the father name this kid after a stripper.

[Bzzzz]

44. Oscar Blue...

my repuke boss's daughters baby boy's name.:eyes:

[TheBaldyMan]

46. Fifi Trixiebelle

Unfortunate name of the daughter of Bob Geldof.

[LA lady]

47. What are people thinking!

My hospital roomate (25 years ago!) named her baby Placenta Praevia after the condition she had.

I knew a girl named Pah-juh-muh (spelled pajama)

I was childhood friends with a girl named Lesbia (I swear). When I saw her years later she said "You remember me, LESLIE." She looked panic stricken that I might call her by her birth name.

Her parents were very country people and had no idea what they were doing to her....

[dysfunctional press]

49. especially if her middle initial were "N'...

would make life difficult(if she was straight).

[LA lady]

54. I don't know the middle name

She was straight and I don't remember her middle name. This was back in the 50s and 60s too, lots less tolerance (although the name would be difficult in any time frame)

[Evergreen Emerald]

51. hung dong

Swear. I went to school with him. It may have been spelled differently, but that was his name.

[graywarrior]

53. Anybody Bush.

[dysfunctional press]

55. i think that "Doctor" would be a GREAT baby name-

for either a boy, or a girl.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

56. Gurley Crumb

A convicted murderer in Oregon a few years back.

My Dung Phan, only "My Dung" was pronounced "Mee-yoong."

[Arugula Latte]

73. I remember that guy.

And I remember having conversations with people that went, "Well, Geez, no wonder he grew up to be a murderer with a name like that. He was probably teased mercilessly from the time he was a toddler."

[TimeChaser]

57. Cheney

Really, I've seen a little kid with that name >>

[Ava]

58. Harry

put it together with the last name and it's one awful name.


harry butts.

[philosophie_en_rose]

59. Incontinentia Buttocks.

A did I ever tell you about my fwiend?

He has a name, centurion!

Do you feel a little giggle, when I say Biggus Dickus!

[patdem]

62. Peter Harder..that was his REAL NAME..and when I was a key punch

operator so many many many years ago at an insurance company, we posted last names first..

[NorthernSpy]

64. Robin Banks, Skip Church, Dwayne Pipe, Nancy-Anne Seancey...

... and Russell Sprout.

Not sure whether any real people actually have those names, tho...

[Blue_In_AK]

65. I actually knew an Ortega Chilipepper once.

Really.

[smitty]

67. How about "Vagina" ? I'm not kidding. My niece is an nurse and

a woman at her hospital had just given birth to a healthy baby girl that she wanted to name "Vagina". The nurses had to explain the facts of life to the new mom and got her to come up with a new name.

I went to elementary school with a boy whose first name was "St Elmo".

[Porcupine]

68. Les Haight- a local attorny. nt

.

[BrklynLiberal]

69. Not a weird baby name, but my vet's name is.... no kidding... Dr.Barkan.

[Arugula Latte]

74. Not a baby name, this is an older man: Dick Porn.

He was mentioned as a survivor in a recent obituary in the Oregonian newspaper.

Edit: Oops. Didn't mean to post this here ...

[HughBeaumont]

70. Nebuchadnezzar or Lufituaeb

The joke with that last name is that I'm not kidding. One of my sister's idiot friends actually NAMED their kid that.

[SKKY]

72. Haywood Jablomie

[KatyaR]

75. Years ago, I knew a security guard at the university where I worked

whose name was Pete--really nice guy.

He was a twin.

His brother's name was Repete.

I am not kidding.

[Puglover]

76. Sproul....and I'm not kidding..

it's a real name.

[deadparrot]

77. Too many:

Try this website, for one:

http://www.notwithoutmyhandbag.com/babynames/

[Kerrytravelers]

79. Here is a bad baby names site!

www.notwithoutmyhandbag.com

Click on Baby's Got a Bad, Bad Name. there are some real doozies. And, the website owner, Diana, has a message board that cracks me up!