I COINED A NEW TERM!!

[CanuckAmok]

My vacuum came back from warranty repair today. I picked it up at The Bay, a pretty plebian department store.

The guy in the Major Appliances department who handed me my vacuum had one of those quasi-mohawks you see all over the place. I got to thinking how this one-time antiestablishment coif has become as accepted as lace-up shoes and the zipper fly, and how, even in the Ground-Zero of Nerdiness, a.k.a the Hudsons Bay Company Major Appliance Department, an implied mohawk doesn't raise a single eyebrow.

Please allow me to give you a brief history of this unusual cultural icon and occasional fashion statement:


The Mohawk Warrior:




Here we have a couple of Mohawk Braves on patrol as mercenaries employed by the British Army in the War of 1812. In their society, the ceremonial shaving of one's head was an acknowledgement of maturity and bravery. Often the remaining hair was further adorned with feathers and beads to indicate status within certain bands.


The 101st Airborne Division:




Beginning during the D-Day invasion, members of the elite 101st Airborne began adopting the traditional mohawk as battle-dress (albeit close-cropped so as to conform to US Army hair-length regulations), this served varied psychological purposes; to unify members with a common physical trait, to honour the legendary heroism of the Mohawk tribe, and to frighten the bloody fuckin' hell out of the German and Italian Armies.



Travis Bickle:




Martin Scorsese stated that the idea of Robert DiNiro's haircut came from what he believed the increasingly paranoid and isolated Bickle would define as a modern warrior. Also, Bickle's backstory states that he was a Vietnam Vet, and possibly on one of the Airborne Divisions which had sported the mohawk as part of battle dress, beginning in WW2.


Wattie:




What began as a situationalist/anarcho movement to unite the working class and destroy the establishment, and stuff, rapidly devolved into a strictly conformist dress code unto itself. "The Punk", from circa 1978 to present, adopted a standard uniform which deviated only slightly from the original Punk Mohawk. This particular mohawk is sported by "Wattie", lead singer of the Exploited, circa 1981. This length and configuration of mohawk, complimented with a torn white t-shirt and when afforadable, a black leather motorcycle jacket, is the most iconic notion of "The Punk", and can still be used, from Tokyo to Suburban Houston, to easily and distinctly identify one's self as a "Punk".


London Punks:




Following in the non-conforming footsteps of Wattie and his contemporaries, modern "Punks" have taken the mohawk to exciting new places. Here, a group of "Punks" hang around near the Virgin Megastore in London, awaiting the arrival of Asian and American tourists, who will pay them 30 pence each to take their photos.



Grace Jones:




Jamaican pop diva and sometimes James Bond Villainess Grace Jones just don't play by your rules. Seriously.


Gustafson Lake, Oka Quebec 1990:




A member of the Kahnesatake Reserve Nation face to face with a Vandoo Sentry of the Canadian Armed Forces during the standoff at Oka, Quebec. The Mohawk band alligned with Huron, Algonquin and other First Nations peoples to prevent the appropriation of Sacred Land to be used as an addition to an exclusive golf course nearby. Although we can't see the masked protestor's hair under his camo hat, he probably has a Mowhawk. In any event, he has an AK-47, which is just as intimidating.



Today's mohawk:




Here's some flavour-of-the-month "celebrity" sporting the latest evolution in mohawk couture. This is the ersatz 'hawk you can see pretty much everywhere, from your local gas-station, to a corner office of the Chase Manhattan world headquarters. It's a sensible arrangement of hair, which says "I'm a team player" while also suggesting "I have an inner freak, so don't mess with me. You hide my three-hole punch and maybe, just maybe, I'll smash a bass guitar over your head, mate!". One can even have the modern mohawk cut in such a way that it's thicker, taller centre section can be combed-down and discreetely tucked away from the suspicious eyes of schoolmarms, parents, CEOs, etc. What an age in which to live!


...Ant that brings us to the exciting revelation of the term I've just coined. Please feel free to use it without compensation, but understand that I technically own the term in perpetuity and throughout the known universe.


Here it is.... ready?





"Fauxhawk" (pronounced "foe-hawk").

Isn't that great? "Fauxhawk". You heard it here first!

[henslee]

1. Good one. I have seen the faux, it always bugged me, never

knew what to call it. Thanks. I think it sort of started with Joey on friends. Kick and Reccomend.

[Jazz2006]

2. I hate to burst your bubble, CanuckAmok... but....

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fauxhawk

http://www.niata.net/cropshop/faux_hawk/

http://www.wordspy.com/words/fauxhawk.asp

http://www.gawker.com/topic/fauxhawks-over-and-back-015859.php

(that last one even has the same photo as the last one in your opening post)

...sorry....

:(

[CanuckAmok]

3. oh, goddamit. Well, I guess the end justifies the means.

Damned Wikipedia. I'll smash a bass guitar over 'em.

[PittPoliSci]

5. i used to have a fauxhawk.

i've been saying it for a few years now, get with the times mannnnn!!!

i used to call 'em that for anyone who had the mohawk that didn't extend down the back of their head.

oh well, great minds think alike, right?

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

10. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

I love pie in the face!



:evilgrin:

[asthmaticeog]

4. The fauxhawk could be tomorrow's mullet.

Mark my words.

[DS1]

6. I like it

And great buildup

[CanuckAmok]

7. Version 2.0 will include:

[GirlinContempt]

8. hahahahaha

You forgot the rivethawk

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

9. Where you been?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fauxhawk

And yes I am a dick.

[CanuckAmok]

11. you're a dick.

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

13. No you are!

[GirlinContempt]

12. Awww

I didn't wanna break his little heart :(