BREAKING NEWS: Road Runner Assassination Attempt

[originalpckelly]

A Canyon, Somewhere in the Middle of Nowhere -- Children across the nation were greeted with frightening footage of an assassination attempt against the Road Runner when they turned on their cartoons today. The attempt was made by one Wile E. Coyote with ACME brand dynamite. Thankfully Mr. Coyote was unsuccessful. Mr. Coyote has made numerous attempts of Mr. Runner's life, all have lead to Mr. Coyote being gravely injured in the process. It remains unclear what remains of Mr. Coyote after the dynamite exploded when he was examining it.

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[Droopy]

1. That was one of my favorite cartoons when I was a kid

them along with Bugs and Popeye.

[originalpckelly]

2. This Just In: Photos of Attempt...

The photos of the dynamite exploding are to graphic to post.

[Monkey see Monkey Do]

3. Bloody ACME crap. Does "Made in America" mean nothing these days?

http://www.torinfo.com/justforlaughs/coyote_v_acme.html

[warrens]

4. Ever seen this?

Opening Statement of Harold Schoff, attorney for Mr. Coyote: My client, Mr. Wiley E. Coyote, a resident of Arizona and contiguous states, does hereby bring suit for damages against the Acme Company, manufacturer and retail distributor of assorted merchandise, incorporated in Delaware and doing business in every state, district and territory. Mr. Coyote seeks compensation for personal injuries, loss of business income, and mental suffering caused as a direct result the actions and/or gross negligence of said company, under Title 15 of the United States Code, Chapter 47, section 2072, subsection (a), relating to product liability.

Mr. Coyote states that on eighty-five separate occasions he has purchased of the Acme Company (hereinafter, "Defendant"), through that company's mail-order department, certain products which did cause him bodily injury due to defects in manufacture or improper cautionary labelling. Sales slips made out to Mr. Coyote as proof of purchase are at present in the possession of the Court, marked Exhibit A. Such injuries sustained by Mr. Coyote have temporarily restricted his ability to make a living in his profession of predator. Mr. Coyote is self-employed and thus not eligible for Worker's Compensation.

Mr. Coyote states that on December 13th he received of Defendant via parcel post one Acme Rocket Sled. The intention of Mr. Coyote was to use the Rocket Sled to aid him in pursuit of his prey. Upon receipt of the Rocket Sled Mr. Coyote removed it from its wooden shipping crate and, sighting his prey in the distance, activated the ignition. As Mr. Coyote gripped the handlebars, the Rocket Sled accelerated with such sudden and precipitate force as to stretch Mr. Coyote's forelimbs to a length of fifty feet. Subsequently, the rest of Mr. Coyote's body shot forward with a violent jolt, causing severe strain to his back and neck and placing him unexpectedly astride the Rocket Sled. Disappearing over the horizon at such speed as to leave a diminishing jet trail along his path, the Rocket Sled soon brought Mr. Coyote abreast of his prey. At that moment the animal he was pursuing veered sharply to the right. Mr. Coyote vigorously attempted to follow this maneuver but was unable to do so, due to poorly designed steering and a faulty or nonexistent braking system. Shortly thereafter, the unchecked progress of the Rocket Sled brought it and Mr. Coyote into collision with the side of a mesa.

http://www.rvc.cc.il.us/faclink/pruckman/humor/acme.htm

[YankeyMCC]

5. Quick bomb a country!

We can't let these terrorists win!

[Radical Activist]

6. The Road Runner had it coming.

I've heard that Wile E. Coyote is one smart guy too...a super genius.

[originalpckelly]

7. Mr. Runner is the best, how could you say something like that?(n/t)