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My friend has finally left her husband! (vibes, thoughts)

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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-24-06 05:39 PM
Original message
My friend has finally left her husband! (vibes, thoughts)
I won't say her name but she is a fellow DU'er who constantly lurks and occasionally posts. She has been in an abusive relationship for the past few years now. This last weekend her husband attempted to imprison her in their home. He took away the car keys, locked up the phones and denied her the opportunity to leave her home. After getting no answer from numerous calls her sister called the police. The exparte was issued this morning w/ the help of a local battered women's shelter and she will go back to court in early May for the full order of protection.

I don't want to put her name on here but I hope that she will see this and know that so many strangers will support her and any other battered spouse. Please send your thoughts, good vibes, prayers, etc her way-she could use them right now. No matter how some people try to spin things we all need to know that abuse is alive and well here in the US. Posting here will show her that most people find it disturbing and revolting.

BTW-she might never post in this thread but she will read it. She had recently expressed the opinion that there was nothing that could be done since most people just roll over and accept abuse.
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peacefreak Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-24-06 05:45 PM
Response to Original message
1. Blessings for her.
She has a great sister & a great friend in you. As one who left an abusive marriage, I wish her courage & peace. It may be a long road, but it's worth it. Take care of yourself, my mystery friend. Stay safe. You are not alone.
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-24-06 05:46 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. I hope she sees it.
She's knows it's not easy-she saw me leave a similar situation six years ago. But she knows that it can be done.
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uppityperson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-24-06 05:48 PM
Response to Original message
3. I am glad she got the help she needed.
It is difficult, and many of us have gone through it and know how it can be. Good luck, hang in their and take care of yourself.
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-24-06 05:52 PM
Response to Reply #3
5. She's got me.
I've been through it. Now I hope she reads this and understands how many others have also been through it. I want her to know that there is no shame.
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AirmensMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-24-06 05:50 PM
Response to Original message
4. ~~~~~Vibes~~~~~ and prayers for your friend.
Hugs, too. :hug: I'm glad she has you for a friend and I'm glad she's away from him. Good for you for giving her the support she needs and for letting us know.

:grouphug:

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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-24-06 05:53 PM
Response to Reply #4
6. Maybe she'll be back posting on here!
Her husband had banned her from the computer for a time.
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AirmensMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-24-06 05:55 PM
Response to Reply #6
7. OMG, poor thing!
:cry: I hope she comes back. And I hope she sees that people here care about her. I wish we could do more.
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-24-06 05:58 PM
Response to Reply #7
8. I'm just glad he's gone.
She's on disability right now and he took advantage of that.

May will be a busy month. Once she gets the full order we will apply for any assistance available to her.
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AirmensMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-24-06 06:05 PM
Response to Reply #8
11. I am, too.
And it sound like you know how it all works ... but I'm sorry for WHY you know. :hug:

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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-24-06 06:06 PM
Response to Reply #11
12. At least someone can steer her through this.
I just hope she stands her ground.
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AirmensMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-24-06 06:08 PM
Response to Reply #12
14. That's what I was thinking.
You know better than anyone what's probably going through her head. Are there any children?
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-24-06 06:09 PM
Response to Reply #14
16. An adopted son.
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AirmensMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-24-06 06:13 PM
Response to Reply #16
17. Is he with her now?
I sure hope so!
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-24-06 06:15 PM
Response to Reply #17
18. Yes.
But his natural mother has been in contact. She has cleaned herself up and wants him back. My friend is playing the "wait and see" game.

If things go well she will allow him to go back to his natural mother.
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AirmensMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-24-06 06:18 PM
Response to Reply #18
19. Oh my, that must be hard.
Well, it's good that the natural mother has cleaned herself up. But I feel bad for your friend.
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Xipe Totec Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-24-06 07:11 PM
Response to Reply #12
23. I hope she stands her ground too
I am so sorry for the way your friend was treated.

Please share my journal with your friend. The top post is my mother's favorite poem, "Never Surrender".


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Darth_Kitten Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-24-06 06:03 PM
Response to Original message
9. I'm glad she got out of that situation.
I wish her strength and peace of mind. :)
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-24-06 06:04 PM
Response to Reply #9
10. I'm going to send her a link to this thread.
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Book Lover Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-24-06 06:07 PM
Response to Original message
13. Good luck to you, friend of xmas74!!
I am so very glad to know what a strong support network you have - your sister, your friend xmas74. We are truly behind you. Stay strong sister!
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bigwillq Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-24-06 06:09 PM
Response to Original message
15. All the best to her.
I am gald she made the decision to get out of that horrible situation.

:hi: :hug:
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YellowRubberDuckie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-24-06 06:20 PM
Response to Original message
20. Oh, sweetie!! (A message to your friend.)
I'm so proud of you! You have done something not many women do. Please allow your friends and family to help you through this difficult time and just know that you are in our thoughts and prayers. :hug:
Much Love,
Duckie
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salin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-24-06 06:27 PM
Response to Original message
21. prayers for strength, kudos for courage
and wishes for weathering the storm which will follow - but will eventuallly end allowing rebirth - so to speak.

I cry for the clear pain, terror, and isolation that has been wrought. I also am thankful for the escape and chance at reclaiming her life.

Dear DUer - know that you are supported... and will continue to be supported by many.
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harleydad Donating Member (151 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-24-06 06:32 PM
Response to Original message
22. Your friend is brave.
Good for her - she will not regret it! :applause:

I am saying prayers for her. :hug:
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miss_american_pie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-24-06 07:16 PM
Response to Original message
24. Many prayers for your friend.
Tell her to stay strong. :grouphug:
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