Okay DU ladies, need your advice . . .

[ET Awful]

I'm not going to tell a whole story, just a sequence of events, I just want to know what my next step should be (if any).

1. Meet female, at time I meet her, she's seeing someone else, but still I find her . . shall we say . . . interesting.
2. A while later (as in months), her situation changes (unbeknownst to me) and we start talking more.
3. We go to lunch once or twice, between which times I make myself available for helping her with computer issues, etc.
4. She's always friendly, we get along very well, are constantly laughing, etc.
5. During this whole period of time, we're trading e-mails frequently (usually pertaining to politics or work), and rarely does more than a few hours go by without a response.
6. After a few weeks of this, and never having a day without some kind of correspondence or contact, all of a sudden, nothing. No calls, e-mails, nothing. This is very unusual for her. I know she was at work today (same company, different departments, different buildings even).

Now, I don't really have any ulterior motives in this friendship, I'm just curious to see how it progresses (and I'm fine with whatever way it goes), but to just cease communication just seems very unusual.

This may seem weird to be worried after just one day without communication, but like I say, it's very unusual in comparison to the way things have been.

So, what should I do? I e-mailed her last night, and never received a response, although I know she's been able to send one, or call me, or whatever. Should I follow-up and see what's up (or would that make me look like a loser)? Should I just blow it off and wait for her to get in touch with me or what?

I'm no good at this type of thing, but it just bugs me when people do stuff like this.

Okay, give me ideas ladies :P

[uppityperson]

1. how long has the cut off been? Could have other things going on.

If just 1 day, could have other thing happening. Maybe been busy or occupied. Give it a bit, send an email or talk or call asking if ok and just to say hi.

[ET Awful]

2. See that's my thing, I know it's only been 1 day, but for her, that's very

unusual.

She called me on Saturday for help with a computer problem, then e-mailed me yesterday, but nothing since (including no replies to stuff I sent her which is odd).

I think it's just my insecurity, as in "did I do something to piss her off?"

[uppityperson]

3. maybe she got her period, or got yelled at at work, or parent died

or broke a nail or has to wash her hair. You might've done something, or she might just have something going on today. Let her know you are her friend and there for her, which it sounds like you have, then wait. Which is hard

[miss_american_pie]

4. I suspect there are some pertinent missing pieces

For now, just be patient.

[OhioBlue]

5. give her space for at least a few more days

I started dating someone - very nice, good guy, etc. We would talk on the phone, go out to eat etc. Then a friend of mine died. I only wanted to be surrounded by the circle of friends that were close with him at the time. He called, sent me flowers at work, called again.. I really just wanted to be left alone for a few days and go to calling hours, funeral and be with my family and friends. He took it personal and we've never spoken since.

There are many situations that could lead to her being out of contact for a day, and at times if you push the issue, it could seem more like a chore to her to keep in contact. I would give her a few days before you check in again. It could be something very small like she's very busy, has computer problems, etc. If you come across as too aggressive, it could be seen as too pushy by her. Give her time and see if she responds and then call to make sure she is okay.

[jpgray]

6. She hates you now. Give up and never try again.

:P

Just wait--one day isn't a big deal. If you've left a message already, give her at least 48 to answer you.

[DS1]

7. What she said

;-)

[leftofthedial]

8. there is only one thing left for you to do

hire some bikers to go taunt her cat.

[AlCzervik]

9. I'm going to try not to be negative here but one possibility is that

she met someone. Do you just have a freindship or is it more and if so is it more on your side?

[jpgray]

10. Or dead. She could have died!

[AlCzervik]

11. thats also possible, sheesh i didn't want to be that negative!!!

:o

[jpgray]

12. In fact, she probably met someone and then he killed her

I mean, if we're going to make a wild assumption based on one day without communication, let's put it in Cinemascope here.

[AlCzervik]

13. or maybe she met a badboy and they're on a nation wide crime spree

ala Natural born killers! Yeah, thats it, thats the ticket!

[stellanoir]

14. Awwwww ET

Chill a bit. Something's clearly up with her and stop thinking you're not good at this. It's a jungle out there. Most of us don't know how to behave in such moments of awkwardness.

But a couple days is no big deal even if your interactions had been consistant for a while. She may just need some space (the final frontier) to process your dynamic. She's just as likely to be feeling too much as to feeling too little.

It's the mystery dance darlin'. She'll figure it out or you'll move on and find someone more appropriate.

I'll e-mail you a trick for sorting this out. Pronto.

[Gormy Cuss]

15. Chill.

Give her a couple of days then call or email her to arrange lunch. If she doesn't reply to that, it's time to implement leftofthedial's plan.:D

[Blue-Jay]

16. Not a "DU lady" but you're over-thinking things.

It's easy.

Let her know how you feel. ONCE! (I can't stress this enough...Say it once and then shut up)
Wait.
Wait some more.
Let her respond to you.

That's all. She'll either show some interest or she won't.