Joke time...

[texas1928]

A new employee is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am.
The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door.
The Foreman from the assembly line throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire plant behind schedule. The Personnel Manager decides that he should see this for himself so the two men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Elmo's all over the floor and they're really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands the new employee.

She has a roll of red plush fabric and a big bag of marbles. The men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to sew the little package between Elmo's legs.
The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches the woman.
"I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face," I think you misunderstood me yesterday.
Your job is to give each Elmo two test tickles."

[Midlodemocrat]

1. OMG. That is a riot.

[texas1928]

2. Yep

A farmer had about 30 cows that needed servicing, but he did not have a bull. So he went to his friend down the road and asked if he could buy one of his bulls. The friend said he would sell him his best bull and he would guarantee him. A week later the two met in town and the friend said, "How is my bull doing?" The farmer said, "He isn't doing anything all he does is just sit around and eat, he hasn't touched one of my cows." The friend says, "I guaranteed him, take him to the vet and he will fix him up and I will pay the bill." So that was what the farmer did. A week later they met in town again. The friend says, "How is my bull doing now?" The farmer said, "I couldn't believe it, he serviced all 30 of my cows in just one afternoon." The friend said, "My goodness what did the vet give him?" The farmer said, "I don't remember the name of the medicine, but it sort of tasted like peaches."

[Briarius]

4. LOL

:rofl:

[ChoralScholar]

5. I'm either missing something or really dense EOM

[texas1928]

6. The farmer tried it too

Since it worked so well.























CARNSARNED IT, If you have to explain it, it just kills the joke. :P

[ChoralScholar]

7. Oh I got that. I guess it didn't strike me as funny.

Maybe it's because I grew up in Arkansas.

I thought I had missed something.

[texas1928]

8. No I am Not going to make a joke on Arkansas.

Just can't do it.

[ChoralScholar]

9. It's okay.

Most of the time, Arkansas seems to be the slightly-retarded stepbrother of Texas.

However, our record for supplying good presidents remains untarnished. :P

[texas1928]

10. Hey

One, One guy... We supplied Barbara Jordan. HA HA

[ChoralScholar]

11. I see your Barbara Jordan and

raise you one Hattie Caraway.

[texas1928]

3. Kick

:kick:

[mykpart]

12. Barbara Jordan, Ann Richards, Molly Ivins, Sam Rayburn and,

aw hell, Lyndon Johnson was better than anything the Republicans have come up with!