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As many of you know, I moved from Ohio to Rapid City, South Dakota, at the end of May last year to take the kind of job I've always wanted. I love it here and am actually thriving being totally on my own for the very first time in my life, and am having better luck professionally, socially and even culturally in just the eleven months I've been out here than I ever did in the more than three decades I was in Ohio. I lived in SD for a few years as a child and always wanted to return; we also vacation every year in the Black Hills and I always wanted to live in this area. And NE OH continues to go down, down, downhill.
The problem is that my son remains behind with my parents, with whom we've lived since his birth. I know that's the best situation for him right now, especially since he has Asperger's Syndrome, a type of high-functioning autism, and the transition would be especially hard for him. We're very close, so the separation has been the most difficult part of this, as you can imagine. In the past year, I've only seen him for two weeks at Christmas, when I flew home for the holidays. It's hard on him as well.
Anyway, his (gasp! gulp! OMG!)fifteenth birthday is tomorrow, the 26th, and it will be the first time ever that I will not be with him on his birthday. We always had fun on his birthday, and he loved to hear stories about his birth, how I first went into labor, how long it was, and how I finally had a c-section, and when I saw him for the very first time. It's really, really hard right now being away from him, even though I know it's the best way for things to be right now. I so wish I were home to take him to dinner and a movie, then shopping for the latest gadget he wanted, and having cake and ice cream at home with my parents.
I simply cannot believe it's his fifteenth birthday, it feels like yesterday, literally, that it was his first birthday. The years are just rolling by too fast. I feel like I'm missing out on his life right now, which, essentially, I am, and even though I'm doing well here and I don't ever want to go back to Ohio, the separation is just so difficult. I know tomorrow will be a difficult day, it was sad enough buying and sending his card and present a few days ago.
Anyway, just needed to vent for a little bit; hopefully I won't be so sad after tomorrow. :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
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