You might be a Republican if ...

[WhoCountsTheVotes]

-You think "proletariat" is a type of cheese.

-You've named your kids "Deduction one" and "Deduction two"

-You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum
wage.

-You've ever referred to someone as "my (insert racial or ethnic minority here) friend"

-You've ever tried to prove Jesus was a capitalist and opposed to welfare.

-You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.

-You think Huey Newton is a cookie.

-The only union you support is the Baseball Players, because heck, they're richer than you.

-You think you might remember laughing once as a kid.

-You once broke loose at a party and removed your neck tie.

-You call mall rent-a-cops "jack-booted thugs."

-You've ever referred to the moral fiber of something.

-You've ever uttered the phrase, "Why don't we just bomb the sons of bitches."

-You've ever said, "I can't wait to get into business school."

-You've ever called a secretary or waitress "Tootsie."

-You answer to "The Man."

-You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of
sense.

-You fax the FBI a list of "Commies in my Neighborhood."

-You don't let your kids watch Sesame Street because you accuse Bert and Ernie of "sexual deviance."

-You scream "Dit-dit-ditto" while making love.

-You've argued that art has a "moral foundation set in Western values."

-When people say "Marx," you think "Groucho."

-You've ever yelled, "Hey hippie, get a haircut."

-You think Birkenstock was that radical rock concert in 1969.

-You argue that you need 300 handguns, in case a bear ever attacks your home.

-Vietnam makes a lot of sense to you.

-You point to Hootie and the Blowfish as evidence of the end of racism in America.

-You've ever said civil liberties, schmivil schmiberties.

-You've ever said "Clean air? Looks clean to me."

-You've ever called education a luxury.

-You look down through a glass ceiling and chuckle.

-You wonder if donations to the Pentagon are tax-deductable.

-You came of age in the '60s and don't remember Bob Dylan.

-You own a vehicle with an "Ollie North: American Hero" sticker.

-You're afraid of the liberal media."

-You ever based an argument on the phrase, "Well, tradition dictates..."

-You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn't want to contribute
to society."

-You've ever urged someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, when they don't even have shoes.

-You confuse Lenin with Lennon.

[JohnKleeb]

1. I know these are old but I got a new one

You use Jimmy Hoffa as an example of union corruption yet neglect to mention that Jimmy Hoffa was a republican.

[WhoCountsTheVotes]

4. hey good point

:bounce:

[JohnKleeb]

6. Its true

They always talk about unions being corrupt yet neglect to mention that Jimmy Hoffa was a big time republican.

[XanaDUer]

2. I am strongly resisting the urge to e-mail this to a certain

whacky relative.

I will stay strong.

Good ones, tho!

[JohnKleeb]

5. how do you like mine

They always talk about unions being so bad and probably bring up Hoffa but these two guys were buds,

[XanaDUer]

10. My loons kinda like unions

because they provided a very comfortable existence for them. What they don't like is anyone else getting anything. That's "welfare"

One interesting point: same loony tunes are upset over the Repub vote on Medicare.

It's always about them. That is the heart to understanding a conserv.

[Blade]

3. LMAO!

Hilarious list! I'm going to send it to my republican relatives.....(I don't talk to them anyways.)

[KensPen]

7. What about......

You believe Saddam led a convoy full of WMD laden Uhauls into Iran.

You think Monica Crowley is "HOT"

You think Bill O'Reilly is a straight Shooter

You think calling them Bush 41 and 43 is clever.

You believe the tax cut really aided the "average" American

[JohnKleeb]

8. ok some more

You hate Bill Clinton for "disgracing" the oval office with his office yet youre gonna go over to Bob Barr's house to have whip cream licked off your tits, yes this happened!, Bob Barr licked whip cream off two women's breasts like in 1992.

You think women will vote for Bush rather than Gore because Bush is more "hot", actual word coming from a right winger I know and he tells me hes not gay, dude youre living a lie, admit it, I am sure Jesus will forgive, btw ladies tell me objectively, whos a better looking guy, or

[Blade]

9. lmao, Kleeb...

you never cease to make me laugh. :hi:

[JohnKleeb]

12. You think so

*scratches head for more ideas*
Heres more

You hate hollywood for bashing your "president" yet Arnold is gonna get it done in Sacramento, :eyes: sure buddy, and I am gonna be the best damn president my school's young dems ever had

You say nuke em

The root of all your problems is Bill Clinton and his penis

You blame your personal problems on Bill Clinton, I think it was Barr too who sued Clinton for distress.

[Kamika]

11. I just had some proletariat sandwitches

That thing is damn tasty, even though its a frenchy cheeze!


edit: oh yeah im not a freeper!! because after this im going to my "african american" friend!

[BigMcLargehuge]

13. Oh hell, I got plenty :)

- you honestly believe that the $90,000 your boss got back from Shrubs tax break is gonna trickle down to you.

- You think Wal Mart should be able to pay whatever they want to their employees as long a I can get that DVD player for under $40 bucks.

- You believe the Bible is both the irrefutable word of God and originally written in American English.

- You won't let your kids watch Sesame Street because they don't always speak in American English.

- You think imposing American democracy will magically transform war torn countries to capitalists utopia

- You apply the phrase "not in my backyard" to non-white people.

- You really like eating out at Pub 99, Applebees, and Outback Steakhouse rather than gambling on some local mom-and-pop restaurant in town

-You find humor in Mallard Fillmore

-You rank priorities in the following order: My gun, my dog, my wife...

-You believe that hiring ten people at slave wages is better for the economy than hiring one at a living wage

-You don't know what "living wage" means

-You believe homeless people are such because they want to be

[Kamika]

14. My contribution

*You are proud about the fact that you don't know another language.

[JohnKleeb]

15. good one kamika

Oh you hate immigrants yet neglect to mention that youre of old pilgrim stock.