What is the most embarassing thing your parents ever did to you?

[WillParkinson]

When I was about 14 years old my dad said to me, "If you masturbate you get hair on the palm of your hands."

I didn't know (yet) what masturbate was so I looked at my palms.

Of course everyone cracked up and then my cousin explained to me what it was.

(So, naturally I had to look again...but this time in private.)

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

1. LMAO !

Sorry but that was so funny ... I pictured you looking at your palms :)

[WillParkinson]

2. Oh, yeah....Laugh riot. <grin>

Once we had a parakeet named Sam who liked to give kisses.

Well, one day he did a bit too hard of a kiss and drew blood. When the scab finally came in my dad said, "Hey, you got a booger on your lip." and reached up.

I thought I really did.

Man that hurt.

[amandae]

3. How funny!

Sorry, but I would crack up too :-)

When I was in Jr. High (which isn't education, it's torture), I came home with a piece of gum in my hair. It wasn't put there on purpose and the person who was goofing around with other people behind me had apologized, but when I got home my dad was furious! He grabbed me, we got into his truck and he scoured the streets of the neighborhood in which the girl lived. When he found her he yelled at her (in front of her friends) for doing that! I was so embarassed! (and yes, I did tell him who it was, eventually ... I was too scared at that point not to!).

Years later he punched my ex-boyfriend at a crowded hockey game (my ex was an adult .. lol) ... luckily, I wasn't there for that one. Dad says he couldn't stand the smug look my ex gave him (it was the first time dad had seen my ex since ex broke up with me - which he did in a super-shitty way). Dad's protective (which is nice) but it can be a bit embarassing :-)

:hi:

[VelmaD]

4. Nekkid childhood photos

My mother LOVES to show the picture of my nekkid 2 year old self riding a stick horse to prospective boyfriends. She's EVIL.

[Skittles]

5. it reminds me of that corny joke

Dad looks in his son's room.

Dad: SON, IF YOU KEEP DOING THAT YOU'LL GO BLIND.
Son: HEY DAD! I'M OVER HERE!

[Skittles]

6. OK here is my story

My dad like to mess with my boyfriends. For example, he would sit there and clean his guns if I ever had a boyfriend in the house. I can't remember how many times I told him PUT THE GUNS AWAY ALREADY; YOU ARE SCARING MY BOYFRIENDS.

Here is typical parting advice from my dad to a guy: IF YOU DON'T BRING HER HOME ON TIME I WILL TWIST OFF YOUR HEAD AND STUFF IT UP YOUR ASS.

When we drove off, the poor guy would be going YOUR DAD THREATENED TO KILL ME! I'd be saying HE WAS ONLY KIDDING but I don't think they believed me. They'd bring me home early and practically SHOVE me out of the car. :(

[7th_Sephiroth]

13. i had a friend who's dad did that

2 years ago she had me come pick her up for a date and let her dad be alone with me to clean his guns (me being a frien and not a b/f it was just to spook him) i pulled out my .50 cal handguns and asked to borrow his cleaner, she says he hasent done it since

[Skittles]

34. um

if you had pulled a gun in my dad's house he would have shot you. Sadly, he was a bit psychotic and he eventually committed suicide.

[truthspeaker]

18. YOU ARE SCARING MY BOYFRIENDS

Scaring your boyfriends was his intention, I'm sure.

[Bertha Venation]

7. "Show <visiting relative or friend> your zipper!"

I had heart surgery when I was an infant (four, from 3 - 22 months). My mother told me I was the first baby in California to have open heart surgery -- but then, my mother told me a lot of things. But I digress.

She made me lift my dress/shirt for every visiting relative or friend who knew I'd had this surgery. She'd say "Show Aunt Maxine your zipper!" "Show Grandpa your zipper!" etc. It was cute when I was little. It got annoying, then it got humiliating.

[trof]

8. Made me sing

in front of guests.
I had extreme stage fright.
I'd go hide behind a chair, and then I could sing OK.
:shrug:

[TrogL]

9. Hallowe'en costume

Little Dutch Girl - complete with authentic wooden shoes (borrowed from a neighbour). I had to reveal who (and what sex) I was because the teacher was ready to kick me out of class.

I'm scarred for life.

[matcom]

10. Ice Cream Truck "Incident"

i was about 9 or 10. the ice cream truck was parked on the corner down the street. ALL my friends were there. asked mom for some money and she gave me a couple of bucks.

rode my bright orange spider bike down there and bought something. paid for it but apparently got shortchanged by $.35. brought the change back to mom, standing and waiting for me in the driveway.

mom (all 5'0" of her) realized i had been shorted. what does she do?

MOM JUMPS on my bright orange spider bike and peddals her ass off down the street, SCREAMS at the ice cream man (will ALL my friends standing there) and FURIOUSLY peddals her little ass home.

the whole neighborhood was watching. my ice cream didn't taste so good after that.

scarred to this day x(

[grannylib]

11. My dad used to think it would be just the best thing if I learned to

curtsey when presented to various great-high-muck-a-mucks (the new pastor, visiting professors, etc.) but it didn't last long, *lol*

[thom1102]

12. Ok here it is...

When we were little, my family used to rent a cottage along the Delaware River. I was all of about 3 years old, and we were packing up to go home when I asked my mom if I could take home my "pet worm." "Put that down, it's dirty!" she yells. A few minutes later, she comes by with another box and asks "What are you doing?" "nuffin" I replied with my mouth full. "What's in your mouth?" "I'm giving my worm a bath."

Well, that was embarrassing enough, but I was only 3 years old, so I could be forgiven. The embarrassment comes from my mother telling this story to every person I ever dated.

[Bertha Venation]

15. Mustn't. Say. It.

Must. Be. Strong.

[XNASA]

14. Where to start?

My weird name?

The ridiculously square clothes I was forced to wear.

The 8 years of Catholic grade school.

The accordian lessons.

The list is very long. Very long indeed.

[TrogL]

24. wierd clothes

breeches

Satan only knows where she got them from. Maybe she had them flown in from Germany or something.

[Pale Blue Dot]

31. You know, some people who have childhoods like that

end up rebelling and joining rock bands! :-)

[XNASA]

38. Actually, the accordian lessons proved to be useful.

But I think you've hit the nail on the head.

[seaglass]

16. When I was young I had to have surgery and

I can remember my parents giving me an enema with a hot water bottle (I guess it was dual use?).

Yikes, I never even used an anal thermometer on my kids.

[truthspeaker]

17. mom wrote my name on all my clothes right before I went off to college

I tore the tags of as many as I could, but on some she wrote my name right on the fabric. I felt like I was going away to camp.

[On the Road]

46. A Classmate of Mine Had the Same Fate

except that his mom wrote his name on the inside collar of those soft-collar polo shirts. And she didn't take into account that when you wear it, you fold the collar down so that the inside is outside. So he walked around campus with his name showing upside down from the back.

Or maybe he did it himself.

[dolo amber]

19. Before I could drive

My dad *the comedian* would do the "I reach for the door handle, he taps the gas" thing. But he wouldn't just do it like once or twice, oh no...it was like 7,8,9 times before he got his jollies. I'd be practically home from wherever it was he was picking me up in 1 ft. increments. :grr:

;)

[no_hypocrisy]

20. My mother kissed me in front of my H.S. graduating class when she gave

me my diploma (because she was president of the Board of Education). The entire auditorium gave a collective "Ohhhhhhhhh!" We weren't exactly close to boot. I still cringe when I remember.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

21. The CLOTHES Mom forced me into.

The less said about it the better.

[corarose]

22. My Mom farted in a Doctors office one time

I died of embarrassment and I walked out leaving her in the office. The whole office heard it even the Doctor and it was so damn humiliating.
But, If I could have her back with me know I would take her farting in a Doctors office anytime over not having her with me.

[kodi]

23. they had my sister.

.

[NightTrain]

25. Make me go out in public with them

Let's just say, my new upstairs neighbors (who I call "the Lockhorns") remind me a lot of mom and dad. :grr:

[HEyHEY]

26. My mom can make a big fuss over a small amount of money

I would have to sit there while she argued over small amounts when exchanging coupons or something like that.

[Faygo Kid]

27. Beat my mother, then left when I was 9. Embarrassing? Bite me.

Don't talk to me about embarrassing. I cowered with my little brother behind the couch while Dad beat my Mom until the police came (thank God for neighbors). I didn't see "Dad" again until I was 22, when I ID'd him in the morgue. When I was a small child, I remember the kids on the block saying my Mom was the ugliest on the block (Beaver Cleaver era). Mom worked hard to raise two sons, and did well; won major WWII award, and was beloved by all. Died at 84 in September. Was I embarrassed? Yeah, sometimes, and I hate it. Gee, sorry you were embarrassed about that major incident. Get a life, and do another post.

[Bertha Venation]

28. never mind

never mind. :eyes:

[Faygo Kid]

30. Like your kitties

On your web site. Sorry about my rant. Guess the "holidays" and lots else personally have made me angry. More of a dog person, here, but I loved and cared for all my kitties (I call them sebs. Don't ask why, just try it).

[kodi]

37. i understand you, completely

i didn't want to post a similar situation. but you do have company and my sympathy.

[Bertha Venation]

39. cool, faygo, no worries

I get angry too. Our family's filled w/ dark humor: my sisters share a home and decorate for the holidays on the date our mother died, Dec. 10.... ever wanna swap stories, say the word.

best to ya :toast:

[southerngirlwriter]

29. I hear you. I wasn't going to post at all, to avoid

bringing down a funny thread, but.......mine involves a bare-ass whipping in public when I was 11, and then being forced, by threats of significantly worse beatings to come, to tell the store manager he shouldn't call the cops because I deserved it for being "a really, really, really, really bad girl."

[Faygo Kid]

33. I'm with you. How awful that must have been.

That is not "discipline." At 11 years old, and a girl, that was sexual humiliation, and of course harassment. Never had that in my life, thank God (probably because I am a male; no 11 year old girl should EVER (sorry, moderators) should be subjected to that). Bless you, and have a good holiday. Thanks for responding.

[Kamika]

32. Gave me a pretty stereotypical name

They needed "american" names and ofcourse asked all their korean friends for a typical "american" name.. so i got the most stereotypical asian american name out there..

Other then that nothing perticularly embarassing

[Spirochete]

35. My mother

caught me shoplifting a couple packages of Black Jack Gum, and made me take them back to the store, tell the store people what I did, and pay for them.

[corarose]

36. I stole a pair of shoes when my Dad was in a store one time

My Dad has lots of Police friends and I got caught on the way out. I was 13 years old and my Dad took his belt off in front of them and hit me and they let him do it and then we went home.

[truthspeaker]

40. that may be embarassing

But you should thank your parents for that! Too many parents these days would let their kids get away with it.

[corarose]

43. I never stole anything again after that day

Can you imagine a parent hitting a kid at that age in a store these days. Lawsuits, jailtime and the media.

[truthspeaker]

44. i was actually responding to VanceSouthpaw

I don't condone hitting a kid with a belt, for shoplifting or anything else.

[JohnKleeb]

41. Not the most but its up there

It goes along with my dumbest thing at owrk too, I am working at the grocery store yesterday and I :( put the wrong groceries in a car, and the woman is talking to me about it, and who should pop up but my dad, I feel really embarassed and shit, my dad is walking about and shit, doing shit, and I Want him out, and he yelled at me when I Told him I felt like quitting over this.

[Whitacre D_WI]

42. They had sex when I had friends over at the house.

*shudder*

[bearfan454]

45. My Dad made sure I was the only one with short hair in High School

He said long hair is the first form of rebellion. I graduated HS in 1974. All the other kids used to laugh at me. My Dad is a Dem too. Just too much of a control freak.

[On the Road]

47. In 4th Grade, My Class Had Some Kind of Circus Show for the Parents

I was assigned to play a giraffe along with two other kids and we had to run around in a circle. The other two kids' moms made them tall cardboard necks with a giraffe head on top.

My mother apparently didn't think of this option or check with the other moms. She thought of what a giraffe's head actually looks like, and made me a set of long yellow ears and two knobs on top of my head. So I looked like an alien, and I remember everyone laughing as I ran around next to the two normal-looking giraffes.

[Throckmorton]

48. Showed up drunk to my 7th grade xmas concert, and puked

all over the stage. Then he punched the conductor and got a night in jail.