I'm a crotchety old geezer.

[LaraMN]

Of my last four attempts to watch a movie in the evening after the kids have gone to bed, I have fallen asleep... yes... four times. On three separate occasions I have attempted to watch Donnie Darko- the Director's Cut; and I have yet to make it through the last hour.

Gray hairs? Check.
Annoyed by "the teenagers"? Check.
Often drive too slow on the freeway? Check.
Can't make it through a two-hour movie beyond eight o'clock. Yuppers.

I guess all I lack now is chronic constipation.
I feel like I'm becoming geriatric.

[swimboy]

1. I'm sorry!

:cry:

For my own self, I absolutely can not fall asleep with Jake Gyllenhaal in the room.

I think you are having a brief phase and you are going to get through it. Without chronic constipation, I hasten to add.

:loveya:

[ThomCat]

3. If Jake Gyllenhaal is in the room

Would you want to fall asleep?

I'd be up all night, and very happy about it. :P

[LostinVA]

10. Substitute Ashley Judd or Kate Winslet, and I hear you!

Hell, even Natalie Portman since she's safely into her 20's now....

[ThomCat]

19. I feel guilty

lusting after these 20-somethings. They're kids. But damn, they're easy on the eyes. :blush:

[LostinVA]

21. I felt like a perv about Natalie Portman until the last year or so

I didn't lust after her when she was 16 or anything, but even when she was about 19... ick.

But yeah... damn! They look nice! At least Ashley is my SO's age, and Kate is in her 30's now....

[LaraMN]

4. Lol! Jake Gyllenhaal doesn't do it for me.

I love his acting, but he's just not tantalizing enough to keep me awake, I guess.

;)

[LisaLynne]

2. But you can work a DVD player.

That counts for something!

[LaraMN]

5. Actually, I didn't put the movie on, technicallly.

But YES! I CAN work the DVD player! Well...mostly...
:D

[Taverner]

6. "Geeezers wear boots and ya gotta belieeeeeeeve meeeeeeeee"

I saw it saw it with my own two eyeeeeeeeeeeeeees

[LaraMN]

17. Quit using all the e's. We're gonna run out.

darn wasteful kids...
mumble...mumble...grumble.

[ThomCat]

7. Old Geezer?

I'll leave you to judge that. We're as old as we feel so how old do you feel?

But crotchety? Not at all. You definitely do not seem crotchety. Or even oofnick. Or much of a cynic.
:hug:

[LaraMN]

11. I guess I don't really *feel* old, except beyond the fact that I keep

falling asleep on the couch in the middle of the day, and when I try to watch movies in the evening. Excepting that, I suppose I'm still relatively spry. :P

[LostinVA]

8. I'm 41 -- welcome to my world....

My SO said last night: "I'm going to bed. OMG! I can't! It's still light outside!" Another twenty minutes or so: "Okay, it's dark enough to go to bed now." I joined here soon after Survivor went off.

Last week my eye doctor told me to start wearing +1 OTC reading glasses when my eyes feel strained by close work and small print. At least it beats bifocals.

We've turned into our parents... OMG!!!

[LaraMN]

15. Ha! So you wouldn't give yourself permission to go to bed, until it was

dark out, huh? :rofl: I think that would be about the extent of my willingness to "fight the aging process.":rofl:

[LostinVA]

18. No, my SO wouldn't give herself permission!

And, she's younger than me -- 37. I stayed up to 930, than at least read in bed for an hour...

[uppityperson]

9. codger geezer or coot?

http://www.uexpress.com/coveringthecourts/index.html?uc_full_date=20040530

05/30/2004
OF CODGERS, GEEZERS AND COOTS

An inquiry came recently to hand from a gentleman somewhere in Cyberspace. He asked, "What is the difference between a codger, a geezer and a coot?" This is the kind of question that keeps a writer from doing honest work. Let us consult the usual authorities.

What is a codger? American Heritage says a codger is "a somewhat eccentric man, esp. an old one." Merriam-Webster says a codger is "an often mildly eccentric and usu. elderly fellow." Oxford adds little: "a person, esp. an old or strange one." New World concurs and adds that "codger" is "a term used in good humor." Encarta contributes an etymological note. The word may be a variant of "cadger," one who habitually takes or borrows things. So much for "codger."

What about "geezer"? All the lexicographers agree that a geezer is an old person, odd, eccentric, always male. The noun stems from "guiser," a 15th-century mummer, "one who goes merrymaking in disguise during festivals." There is no additional charge for this information.

Finally, a "coot" is not only a waterfowl of the genus Fulica, it is also "a foolish, eccentric or senile person" (American Heritage); "a harmless simple person" (Merriam-Webster); "a stupid person" (Oxford); "an amusing old fellow" (New World); and "an unconventional or unreasonably stubborn person" (Encarta).

Very well. You have accurately surmised that I am stalling. What distinguishes a codger from a geezer? Or vice versa? Let us first examine what the terms have in common. We know that codgers, geezers and coots are all "old" males. How old? Patience! This column will not shirk its duty! Geezerdom begins at 62 if the fellow habitually goes fishing on Saturdays. Codgerdom seldom arrives sooner than 73 years and six months. "Cootdom" is not so easily defined. One cannot be a coot before 67 in Boston, or before 69 in Sarasota, Palm Beach and Tucson...more@link

[NewWaveChick1981]

12. When loud music gets to be "noise," you can officially

join the club! I love music, and certain music needs to be played LOUD in order to really get the full effect. However, it can't be just any music, because "the music of today's youth" played loud really gets on my nerves. :grr:

Reminds me of the scene in Sixteen Candles when the grandparents are sitting around the breakfast table and Sam screams upstairs when she finds out about her panties being passed around at the dance. One grandpa says, "Hate that rock and roll rubbish!" And the other grandpa says, "I'm afraid it's here to stay!" :P

[Oeditpus Rex]

13. Does this mean you're gonna swap your boots

for something like these? :cry:

[LaraMN]

16. No way in. hell.

I'll just buy orthopedic insoles.

[In_The_Wind]

14. I guess I'm not there yet.

All I have is a few nice placed gray hairs.

[LaraMN]

20. I don't think you'll ever be "there."

If they could bottle and sell "essence of Joani," you'd support a cottage industry.:loveya:

[In_The_Wind]

22. LaraMN, you just made my day!

I'm afraid to get "there".

Who the hell would do all of the little things that I do?
Like making nectar for the hummingbirds and loving all those shy guys until they learn to love themselves.

[LaraMN]

23. Lol! I tried to make nectar for the hummingbirds, last year.

I messed up the bottle, and it dripped all over the ground. Instead of feeding those pretty little birds, I ended up attracting a horde of ants. :rofl:

[In_The_Wind]

28. You probably just need a different feeder.

I hang two or three feeders in different locations so that the birds can't see them all. The adults will become territorial chasing everyone they can see away.
The fancy looking feeders don't make the hummers any happier.
The second feeder below will work better and leak less if you only fill it 1/2 way.

I have at lease a dozen ruby throated beauties that return to nest and raise their babies here. One of the females will hover looking me in the eye for a long time every Spring and again every Fall. I wonder how many times we've met before now.

This is the feeder that I use most along with the first one above.

[ScreamingMeemie]

24. Do your knees hurt when you wake up on cold mornings?

Welcome to the club! :hug: Today I was really feeling it. :)

[sarge43]

25. Are you making the funny sounds when you

stand up or sit down?

Do you get up in the middle of the night to take a leak?

Are you beginning to see your father/mother looking back at you from the mirror?

Are you buying big tickets items that will probably outlast you?

If you answer yes to two or more of these questions, welcome to Geezerland. :headbang:

[jukes]

26. TMI!

and guess what....it keeps getting worse.



saw your foto w/ the saranwrap the other day, though. i barely remember being that young! i suspect your kids are just wearing you out.

[Mutley]

27. Hell, I'm in my 20's and I meet three out of four of your requirements

for being a crotchety old geezer. :D

(I often drive too fast on the freeway :blush: )

[PittPoliSci]

29. bust out the prune juice!

:hi: