I am so sick of people taking me for granted . ( rant )

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

First off - don't take your kids for granted . When your daughter comes up to you with her arms open and wants a hug , don't push her away . Just because your mom did'nt hug you does not mean that you have to treat your daughter with the same coldness . When your daughter talks to you about the cool things that happened to her at work , don't ignore her and give your recorded soap operas more attention . You only have one life to live and you can't put this one on pause . Don't prejudge the guy that makes your daughter happy just because he is Mexican . If he makes her laugh with all the joy in the world , be happy and laugh with her . Don't make her sad and ban him from the house because you are unhappy in your marriage and you want company to your misery . And when I move out in August please don't talk about how you miss me being around your house - you should have enjoyed me while I was there .

Be happy for me that I have not had a depressing thought in 2 months compared to the 11 years that I spent in the grey . Be happy for me that I am good at my job and that I am going back to college in the fall . Don't always assume that I am having sex everytime I am out with the guy that I am seeing . If you took the time to talk to me , you would know that I am not that kind of girl . When I am with the guy all we do is kiss and hug and cuddle and watch tv . And that makes me happy - so be happy for me ...

I have to be honest - this is some of the stuff that I have been going through with my mom . And I just needed to vent ...

[Swede]

1. You don't know what you've got til it's gone CP.

I wish you luck and happiness in life.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

2. I know Swede .

This was just a bad week for me . And I pray that things turn around because I don't want to lose someone who makes me happy just because my mom is unhappy .

[ThomCat]

3. That's difficult to handle.

I don't talk to my mom for similar reasons. I don't think she notices most of the time.

I hope things improve for you. :hug:

[Random_Australian]

4. My condolences on her loss, then, you only have one life and you've

got to live it.

For you, may you find some inspired solution.

This pre-judge the mexicans thing - I presume you are talking about racist bias - take a look at what social psychology says on the matter, understand the mechanisms, and perhaps or otherwise may you be able to sit and talk things over, or solve this before it gets too large a mess.

If all else fails then you can always find at least condolences on DU.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

6. The thing that bugs me the most about the Mexican thing ...

is that she has no right to judge anybody because we are black . And I don't see color - but I honestly believe that if he were black , they would be more open to getting to know him . But they ( my family ) are so closed minded that it makes me sick on the stomach .

[Random_Australian]

8. Well, in the meantimes a hug,

:hug:

[fizzgig]

14. i hear that

half my family is jewish and the hateful nasty bullshit racist shit that comes out of their mouths makes me want to scream and throw the fucking pastries at them

[Robeson]

5. Wonderful post, Carolina. You can always "rant" with us.....

...and here's a :hug: , whether you want it or not...;-)

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

7. Thank you Robeson ...

and thank you for the :hug: - I always like/want hugs :)

[u4ic]

9. I'm sure she was a big part of the reason

for your depression. Or so it sounds.

Some people would rather see others down, unhappy, crushed. Often, it's because they feel the same, and be damned if anyone else should be happy.

I have a father with those tendencies.

We don't take you for granted, CP. :hug:

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

10. I would'nt put the whole blame on it ...

but majority of my depression stems from not getting a lot of emotional support from the people that I needed it from the most when I was growing up .


HUGS are very important to the soul and when I have kids I am never going to stop hugging them .

[reyd reid reed]

11. damn

I just...

:hug:

I could just squeeze the stuffin' outta you right about now.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

12. I am sure there are people out who are thinking that I should STFU

and deal with it - I wish it was that simple . And to those that say " move out " , I am . Its just that other than music , family is all that I have and when that goes down it makes me sad as it would any other normal person .

[reyd reid reed]

16. I'm not going to tell you

that no one out there isn't thinking that...I don't know. I know I'M not thinking that and I doubt there are many (if any) people here who are.

You'd really be surprised, probably, at how many of us know EXACTLY how you're feeling.

If you need to vent, yell at me. I listen good.

[catbert836]

13. Wow, does THAT sound familiar.

I'm still a teenager, and I live with my dad, who's separated from my mom. All he EVER talks with me about is how terible my mom is for leaving him, but he doesn't seem too broken up about it (he moved his girlfriend in to our house about 7 months ago, without asking me if it was OK or even TELLING me). He's uninterested in anything I'm doing at school, or pretty much anything else I'm doing. When I tried to get him to buy me a class ring, I was told that he never had one, so I didn't need one either. For my confirmation, he gave me $5 and a bathing suit, which is what his parents gave him, and like his parents, he didn't show during the ceremony.

Here's hoping that both your mom and my dad see the light. :pals:

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

17. I know exactly what you are going through .

With the I did'nt have it , so you should'nt have it either thing . But the thing is , the things that I do get , I buy them on my own . I work 40 hours a week . Sometimes I work 54 hours depending on busy my job gets so I do have money and I am getting my own car . I am finally getting my license since my meds calm me down and I am cool with driving . I LOVE driving and I just want to drive all day . But when I tell my mom these things its bahfreakinghumbug . They are uninterested in anything good that you are doing but as soon as they think you are doing something bad , that's when they jump on you . I had my guy friend over the other day and maybe I was wrong for doing that but the only thing we did was cuddle in the bed and watch tv . I like this guy very much and what my parent's did hurt me really bad . I am still going to see him no matter what because I choose my heart - I was not having sex at all - I would never do that in someone else's house . I am not sleeping around . That's the stuff my mom was doing when she was younger than I was . We are total opposites and maybe she does not understand because my life is not like hers . But whatever it is , its starting to make me not want to give them my address when I move out . I am so much better than them that's why and I think they are jealous . And I am not really sad , I am laughing because it makes no damn sense for people to act like this . Grow the hell up I say .

I hope that my family and your dad wakes up and sees the light too and you continue doing good things even if your dad does not notice.

[catbert836]

19. I was especially struck

when you said "They are uninterested in anything good that you are doing but as soon as they think you are doing something bad, that's when they jump on you."

That's exactly what's happening with my brother. My dad never gave him much attention while he and my mom were still together, but my mom made up for that. Now that she's gone, he's acting out at school, gets detention and ISS all the time, etc. He just figures negative attention is better than none at all.

My main thing right now is driving as well, but my dad could care less about me learning how to drive. Once I have my license, of course, I'll be sent on all the errands he doesn't want to do, but for now it's lah-dee-freakin'-dah. My other thing is Speech & Debate, where I'm fairly good, and usually place highly. But my dad likes to prod me about this: he never asks me hiw I did, only how my best friend (who's a lot better than I am) did.

I don't have a girlfriend right now, but if I did, he would probably do all he could to break us up. Maybe it's for the best that I don't.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

20. I am 25 years old ...

and I am finally getting my license because I was always afraid to drive . And my depression and anxiety put a hamper on me learning how to . I have been paying for driving instruction where I drive for 2 hours per session and I proud of myself that I took the step on my own . I will attempt to get my license for the first time later this week . I also went to the doctor's on my own and got help with my depression after breaking down at work . The next step after getting my license and car is moving out .

I don't have a boyfriend right now - what I have is someone who I really care about and someone who I hope will grow into something more over time . But whenever he would come over when everyone was home , someone always would interrupt us and want me to do something . And my stupidass stepdad would always knock on the door or just barge in for no reason . No one ever wanted me to do stuff for them when its only me . I swear they make me sick . So I had him over during the day for only 2 hours when no one was home so that we could finally have privacy . And they knew he would come over - my mom gave me permission ! But she likes to pretend she never said that - and so now he can't come over - and it makes me nervous that I might lose whatever I have with him . And the guy is going through the exact same thing with his parents . But no matter what I will be strong and I won't give up the good that I have .

Your dad needs to take a good look at himself and see what he is doing to you and your brother because although as children become more and more independent during our later teen years , we still need our parents . Your brother needs his dad and he is making his school record look bad by going to ISS all the time . I bet this is all stressing you out and you are worrying about your brother , yourself and your dad . From your post I can tell that you are a good kid , keep your head up :) And go to college and move far away LOL .

[catbert836]

22. I'm planning on it.

My dad also has no understanding of the process of growing apart from your parents. He think that when I reject his complete authority over me I'm "threatening his survival", especially whenever I see my mom and talk with her about what's going on.

Thanks for talking- sometimes it seems like there's no one else who knows what I'm going through. :)

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

23. Believe me I know a lot about what you are going through .

And there are a lot more of us out there . Just be strong - that's what kept me from wrecking shop and totally busting things up LOL . I feel like starting a national support group called Children Who Are More Mature Than The Parents or also known " Should'nt you be more mature than I am ? " .

[Floogeldy]

15. Rod Serling would be proud of the plot.

:)

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

18. I am curious as in why Rod Serling would be proud of the plot .

Do tell .

[Floogeldy]

21. I don't know why.

But I can't help get this feeling that . . . .

Never mind.