Smoking benifits small school children

[JackDaniel1216]

I work at a grocery store, I'll leave my job description at that I do not check out or bag grocries. But every so often I'll walk by the dairy department and see that if you buy a $2.00 jug of milk then 5 cents will go to a local school. But you have to send the stupid cap in to the school with your snot nosed kid. And since your kid is a moron, he would probably lose it on the bus, or throw it at some girl, or stick it up his ass, or something that totally screws the afore mentioned school out of the nickel that you switched dairy brands for. I was thinking 'there has to be a better way to do this.' Without those nickels our public schools will go bankrupt and there would be no more money to teach our kids that being a dumbass football player-rapist is the most glorious thing in the world, or whoever has bigger boobs is smarter. The system is broken I need to figure out how to fix it.

Then I realized that I allready figured out how to do it. A few months ago when I wrote the article 'Smoking benifits small school children' in which I explained how the Federal and State government make more off a pack of cigarettes than Phillip Morris or any cigarette company because of the exorbatant taxes smokers are forced to pay for having vices. And in the great state of Utah 60% or more of our state budget goes into education. So the system for you to help our failing public school system is simple. If you don't smoke... and even if you do buy me cigarettes.

The system is very simple, if you want to benifit your own school system, then buy a pack of cigarettes (I smoke Marlboro Reds) and send them to me. If you prefer to keep your transaction under the table and avoid those pesky IRS people just send me money and I will buy the cigarettes and smoke them for you.

Everybody wins in this situation. You donate a good deal of money via taxes directely into public school. I win because I get cigarettes. Finally, the kids win because they will finally have the money to buy crayons and football helmets that will enable them to graduate and get a shitty job that they will hate for the rest of their lives.

Aren't I wonderful?

[DrWeird]

1. And it looks cool too!

I'll be your friend if you just try one.

[JackDaniel1216]

2. straight sexy it does! n/t

[Devlzown]

3. And if anyone is interested in

donating to our impoverished Mississippi public schools, feel free to buy me cigs as well. I smoke Doral Light 100's (they're cheaper).

[JackDaniel1216]

4. yeah,

we should set up a charitble foundation for the buying of cigarettes for the chillins. Call it Smoke to Success or something stupid like that.