Blandest song of the last twenty years

[RandomKoolzip]

Poll question: Blandest song of the last twenty years

By "Bland," I don't mean awful, wretched, puke-inducing horriblemness. I mean:

This song leaves absolutley no impression on you, good or bad.

It passes by on the radio like the 5,678,902nd tree on a long car trip.

It is the musical equivalent of wheat bread.

You've heard it on the radio, but can't for the life of you undrsatnd why anyone would pay for such a mild sensation.

It barely exists.

It sounds like it was programmed by a computer to sound like the least obnoxious music possible.

It conveys no emotion or feeling apart from a dull "there"-ness.

These are the choices:

[CanuckAmok]

1. I loved in the Simpsons:

when Chief Wiggum was using old Hootie and the Blowfish cassettes as surveillance tapes "Eaaah, it's cheaper than usung blank tapes!"

[wtmusic]

2. I'd vote, but I don't remember any of those

:silly:

[mitchum]

7. HAHAHAHAHA!

nice

[MrScorpio]

3. Our house, is a very, very, very fine house!!!

That song turns my stomach into mush

Do I win?

[CanuckAmok]

4. That's more than 20 years old, Mr Scorpion...

and that's the same reason I didn't say "Seasons in the Sun"

[MrScorpio]

5. Damned statute of limitations

If I ruled the world I would win this stupid contest

[RandomKoolzip]

6. Careful...

Thae comment about turning your stomach to mush conveys a negative feeling...e're talking about a song that has NO effect on you Whatsoever. And it's over 20 years old.

[MrScorpio]

10. You can't get any blander than that song

You see, I'm so much of a cool cat that blandness affects me adversely.

Over twenty years or not, that song is one for eternity.

[jpgray]

8. Graham Nash finely crafted that to HAVE the mush-stomach effect

Or so I always assumed. :D

[CShine]

9. Mine is "Sex Shooter"

Remember that Apollonia 6 song in "Purple Rain"? My response to that tune was exactly the kind of thing you're talking about here.

[dolo amber]

11. I had to go with Sister Hazel

I've been sitting here for 5 minutes trying to remember how it went...I'd say that's a pretty good indicator...

I have to say CUSS! to the mentioning of that Deep Blue Something atrocity, and at the dinner hour even! I have such a visceral reaction to that piece of excrement I may now have trouble enjoying my fish stix. :P

[RandomKoolzip]

16. " And AYE Say WHAT about...

Breakfast at TIFFany's, and AYE say blah blah blah." I couldn't believe my ears the first time I heard that song. Such aggressive boringness! As if they put some real thought into being as boring as possible.

Ooh, and Sister Hazel!!! "Fahhnally Ah figured out/ but it took a long long tahhhhm..." You can HEAR the singer's beard in the mic. Total "wheat and flannel" rock. It's like Oat Bran condensed into music.

Fish stix, eh? I'm getting ready to eat my very opulent meal right now too: a 79 cent bag of trail mix. God, I hate being poor!

[dolo amber]

23. "Agressive boringness"

*snarf*

Perfect. :D

[AngryYoungMan]

12. Anything ever by James Taylor

I just don't get that guy's appeal. It all sounds like elevator music. Even the song about his dead girlfriend (Fire and Rain) sounds like it's been carefully drained of all human emotion before he sang it. Bland, bland, bland. I know the stuff's more than 20 years old, but James Taylor was the first thought that occurred to me when I saw the subject line.

[RandomKoolzip]

14. Hmm. Well, let me tell you an anecdote.

My father once told me that James Taylor's music was the best music to listen to while you were high on heroin. So maybe all those people who go to his concerts year after year are junkies. Who knows?

Personally, I love James Taylor's voice, but I can totlally understand why an "AngryYoung Man" would get a little steamed at the overwhelming mellowness of it all. And Even though I just said I love the guy, I've never likd him enough to buy one of his records...He actually is pretty boring if you're not in the mood to be "laidback, man."

[geniph]

13. the Don Henley song

never have been a fan of his (and Hotel California is also bland as wonder bread, to my ear). My ex-husband dragged me to one of his concerts and I fell asleep. I actually like a couple of his songs, but that sure as hell isn't one of them. I was never even remotely an Eagles fan. Joe Walsh, sure, but the rest of them...bland California pabula-rock.

[RebelOne]

15. I have to vote for all of the above.

None of those songs has made a lasting impression on me.

[Swede]

17. I love the Gin Blossoms!

Found out about you is a great break up song.

[RandomKoolzip]

18. Maybe the break up happened BECAUSE you like the Gin Blossoms?

Sorry, I keed, I keed!

[NightTrain]

19. If you want *really* bland pop, go back to 1980 and '81

Those two years produced a bumper crop of unmemorable, cookie-cutter pop hits. Among them....

"An American Dream," The Dirt Band
"Angel Say No," Tommy Tutone
"Biggest Part Of Me," Ambrosia
"Do That To Me One More Time," The Captain & Tennille
"Don't Give It Up," Robbie Patton
"Fire in the Morning," Melisaa Manchester
"Fool In Love With You," Jim Photoglo
"Hearts On Fire," Randy Meisner
"Him," Rupert Holmes
"Hot Rod Hearts," Robbie Dupree
"How Do I Survive," Amy Holland
"I Believe In You," Don Williams
"I Still Have Dreams," Richie Furay
"I'm Happy That Love Has Found You," Jimmy Patton
"If You Should Sail," Nielsen/Pearson
"Jesse," Carly Simon
"Just Between You And Me," April Wine
"Killin' Time," Fred Knoblock & Susan Anton
"King of the Hill," Rick Pinette & Oak
"Let Me Love You Tonight," Pure Prairie League
"Living Inside Myself," Gino Vanelli
"Lookin' For Love," Johnny Lee
"Lost Her in the Sun," John Stewart
"Love You Like I Never Loved Before," John O'Banion
"Midnight Rocks," Al Stewart
"More Than Just The Two Of Us," Sneaker
"One In A Million You," Larry Graham
"Only A Lonely Heart Sees," Felix Cavaliere
"Pilot of the Airaves," Charlie Dore
"Romeo's Tune," Steve Forbert
"Sequel," Harry Chapin
"Somebody's Knockin'," Terri Gibbs
"Take A Little Rhythm," Ali Thompson
"Three Times In Love," Tommy James
"Who'll Be The Fool Tonight," Larsen-Feiten Band
"With You I'm Born Again," Billy Preston & Syreeta

Not to mention a barrage of hits by such purveyors of sleepy M.O.R. as Neil Diamond, Barry Manilow, Andy Gibb, Air Supply, and Barbra Streisand.

All that blandness in two short years! You can well imagine what it was like to listen to Top 40 radio back then. :boring:

[RandomKoolzip]

20. I do remember; those were some of my favorite years for FM radio pop

I was only five or six years old, but I was a total radio FREAK when I as a kid. You think "romeo's Tune" by Steve Forbert is a bad song? Wow, I love love love that song. Ben Folds should cover it, it's got a wonderful melody and that piano pounding beat Ben loves.


Being only five, I had really very little context against which to judge the radio pop of the time, but I still have a weakness for the very stuff which you listed above! I loved it at the time, I loved it ironically in my punk period, and I retain a strained respect for it no that I'm an adult. And I'm not ashamed, some of that stuff featured some wonderful craftsmanship in the melodies and arrangements, a lot of which is far beyond what most pop muffins are capable of today.

Let's not forget all the cool post-punk and burgeoning hardcore happening during those years, either....

[NightTrain]

24. Correct me if I'm wrong, but...

...you said bland songs, not bad ones. So why would you infer that I thought "Romeo's Tune" was bad? I never said that, nor did you ask that we name what we thought were the worst songs of the last 20 years. A list like that from me would've looked considerably different than what I submitted to this thread!

[RandomKoolzip]

26. Whoops, yer right!

Sorry. That one just jumped right out at me, and since I love that song, I felt inclined to defend it. No offense intended, NightTrain! Your list was awesomely obscure by the way. It makes me laugh to think of "Him" by Rupert Holmes and remember that once, that song got airplay...

And yeah, a list of the BAD songs from back then would be pretty interesting. Olivia Newton John, Bily Joel, etc. ick ick ick.....

[NightTrain]

31. Yeah, they're obscure now...

...but back then, all of those tunes were in regular rotation on Top 40 radio! Small wonder most of the '80s music I listen to now is New Wave, Hardcore, and early Rap.

[ldoolin]

37. Heh

Sounds like we have similar tastes. And I thought I was the only one whose homemade tapes had "The Guns Of Brixton" and "Teenage Lobotomy" sandwiched in between "Hot Rod Hearts" and "Pilot of the Airwaves" with a little "Tom Sawyer" and "Another Brick in the Wall" thrown in for good measure - on the same tape.

[ldoolin]

35. Aww c'mon

About half of those songs I actually like, bland or not.

Some lost classics buried in there too. "Pilot of the Airwaves", "Romeo's Tune"...

Keep in mind this stuff was from the same period as the Clash's "London Calling", which is the greatest album ever recorded. And I liked punk, and the bland MOR on the radio, and the FM radio rock from that era (Rush, Queen), and country...which I guess means my musical tastes back then were as all over the map as they are now.

I did absolutely loathe the post-disco stuff like Pointer Sisters' "He's So Shy" and Irene Cara's "Fame" though, FWIW.

[grannylib]

39. I actually liked "Somebody's Knockin'" in a weird way...

[NightTrain]

40. Never said I hated the song; only that it was kinda bland.

You know, like the original poster requested!

[HEyHEY]

21. Third eye blind

Semi charmed life

[RandomKoolzip]

22. As bad as it is, it's pretty obnoxious...i.e. not bland.

That's probably the foremost example of what I'd call "nyah nyah nyah rock" because the vocal lines all sound like playground taunts. THat sing-songy shit drives me crazy!

[lpbk2713]

25. The Pina Colada Song

Dumb-de-dumb-dumb.

[LTR]

27. "Broken Wings" by Mr. Mister

Boring, awful band.

And anything by Paul Carrack.

What is it with goofy-looking balding guys with mullets?

[Blade]

28. Trio..

Duh Duh Duh (or Da Da Da, I don't know which one it was...) oh, and that Sister Hazel song that's above.

[Djinn]

29. you're all lucky

you havn't been subjected to the first single released by the Australian Idol winner - it's like an instant cure for insomnia

a sample of it's mediocrity:

Standing here before you
Feels like I've been born again
Every breath is your love
Every heartbeat speaks your name

If you could see what I see
You're the answer to my prayers
If you could feel
The tenderness I feel
You would know
It would be clear
That angels brought me here

bloody hell it's like a love poem written by a 13 year old girl - but atleast they'd have hormones to blame

[Blade]

30. wow...

that is bad. :boring:

[bif]

32. "Still crazy after all these years" Paul Simon

Yeah Paul, you're a total crazy nut-job. That's what I always thought of you.

[RandomKoolzip]

36. LOL! That's fucking high-larious!!!

Good one, bif. It's like that Billy Joel tune, "You may be right:" Yeah, you're a wild man, Billy- you even rode your motorcycle in the rain! OOOooH, bad boy!

[ACK]

33. Ok,... where the fuck is Dave Matthews

In celebration of the all fucking cursing goddamn Kerry threads i have to ask where the hell are the Dave Matthews songs? All that frat boy party music shit the yuppies listen to while downing beer.

Where the hell is that shit?

[Norbert]

34. Rhythm of the Rain - Dan Fogelberg

Dan was a whole lot better when he wrote his own songs in the 1970s.

All I Need - Jack Wagner
She's Like the Wind - Patrick Swayze
Groovy Kind of Love - Phil Collins
I heard a Rumor - Bannanarama
Rock Me Amadeus - Falco


Zzzzzzzzz

[ldoolin]

38. Here's a little song I wrote...

I like to sing it note for note
Don't worry
Be happy

x(

[Screaming Lord Byron]

41. It's gotta be by Our Lady Peace or The Cranberries.

Hootie and the Blowfish are right up there too, how about 'hold my hand' - now that is the total antithesis of rock n' roll.

[Loonman]

42. Every single released by Oasis

Blech.

[bif]

43. Also "Kodachrome" by Paul Simon

I mean, come on, a song about a roll of film? "Mamma don't take my Kodachrome away." Not exactly profound lyrics.