Have any of you ever been in love when you clearly knew you shouldn't be?

[Writer]

I mean... wrong age, wrong marital status (yours or his/hers), wrong political affiliation? If so, what did you do about it?

edit: grammar

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. My dear Writer.....

Yes. I have.

What did I do? Nothing....I stayed in love....and my life benefitted enormously from my loving two different men.

And, BTW, they both benefitted as well...

If you want to know more, PM me.....

:hi:

[Writer]

2. Wow, Peggy...

I will not inquire further, but I have read that men and women naturally are not prone to love only one.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. That is entirely true, my dear Writer.....

I can honestly tell you that my situation did give me many gifts....

An amazing period in my life, indeed......

I would not have missed it for the world!

I will keep both of them in my heart forever.....

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

7. Woah! Three-way with CaliPeg!!

:evilgrin::D

[CaliforniaPeggy]

10. My dear Vash.........

No, it was never a three-way.

One of them knew about the other........

But the other man did not know about the first.....

It was best that way, believe me.

And that is all I am going to say about it.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

15. I am only teasing you my dear CaliPeg!

:hug:

[miss_american_pie]

4. Yes

And there wasn't a whole lot to do about it.

[raccoon]

5. Yes.

I did nothing about it.

Gradually, the feeling faded. It helps if you don't see them around for a while.

[Rowdyboy]

6. Pretty much for 17 years of my life.....

I fell in love with Joe, a gorgeous, crazy, brilliant straight man my sophomore year in college. He became my closest friend in a relationship that continues today 33 years later. It caused me no end of misery over the years, but also much joy. Then, at age 35, I met the love of my life. While I still have strong feelings for Joe, being in a long term, stable relationship has largely allowed me to move beyond my physical attraction and see him now primarily as close friend. Yeah, I still lust after him in my heart (my partner does too, Joe's a really hot looking 53 year old) but the longing and the need are no longer there. I can really enjoy being around him now.

[JCMach1]

8. Story of my life....

Except for my wife... (thank God)

[nickinSTL]

9. Yes...

And what have I done. Nothing. There's nothing I can do, really.

She's married to someone else and doesn't feel the same.

Fortunately, I have a solid relationship with a woman who is my best friend. So, I deal. Someone else here says the feelings fade. That's not always true. I've felt this way for 15+ years, and haven't actually seen her for 12 - but the feelings are still there. I go on, live my life, and hope that she is happy. :shrug:

[XNASA]

11. I put this record on.

[tigereye]

13. snort!

hi x.

[Writer]

19. HA!

:rofl:

[pecwae]

12. I still am

and it makes a mess of my life (we're both married and not to one another). Just can't help carrying this torch for over 12 years.

[Hugin]

14. Nope.

I've never been there.

My love life has pretty much moved by me in small manageable bites.

That's how it is.

[tigereye]

16. yeah, mad crush about every 20 years

did nothing about it. Happily married, still. Never wrong political affiliation, though. I mean there are limits.

[Magrittes Pipe]

17. That Screaming Lord Byron was such a tease.

:o

[tigereye]

18. ha ha

Sigh. And then he went off and got the consumption, too. :cry:

[Pale Blue Dot]

20. It's being human I suppose.

:shrug:

[jadedconformist]

21. I know EXACTLY what you're saying. Only it wasn't clear all along.

In summary - Yes - I've dated her for seven years. (I'm 26 right now, if that helps give you some perspective). Our relationship started off pretty physical and we were all that we knew. We were each other's firsts. Within the first three years, she was pregnant. We stuck it out. We didn't marry because we both felt that we didn't need to appease all of her right-wing relatives; but her immediate family was fine with it and they accepted it - as did mine. That's all we cared about. Needless to say, when you meet somebody at a very young age, you eventually go through A LOT of changes within seven years. We've always managed to get through a lot of things, and I think it had a lot to do with the fact that we were both equally stubborn. We didn't want to give up even though I'm sure we both knew in the back of our heads that it was a lost cause. She had completely different political views than I did. She was very messy as well. I remember my parents and siblings would always ask, "Do you think you'll marry her one day?" I always answered with, "Yeah, sure." If somebody would mention something about her, I would defend her even if I knew they were right. I think in the back of my head, I didn't know if I wanted to marry her, but I felt it was the path of least resistance and I better suck it up and do it one day. She had no qualities of what I looked for in a woman. I realized that as we grew older. She was rapidly changing and becoming a party animal. She was messy, loud, very vindictive. She was nothing like the kind of woman I knew deep down in my heart I wanted. I wanted something like the example my mother and sister's have demonstrated how a lady should be. I never wanted to admit this to myself, and I didn't want to ever break up with her since we had a child. We've gone on several "breaks" throughout our relationship, and a couple of months ago I discovered something that pretty much gave me an "out" to leave her. Let's just say I can sleep better at night with a clear conscious. I loved her, but I can guiltlessly NOW admit to myself that I am not, and not sure if I was ever IN LOVE with her. We are extremely incompatible and I can admit that to myself now. Meanwhile, my family almost wants to say, "I told you so." I had too much pride to give up. I was in it for the wrong reasons though. Basically, that's a "yes" to your question.

Such is life. I don't think I wasted seven years, because I think this will better prepare to appreciate the right woman when she comes along...funny thing is....I think she already has.

:toast:

[kwassa]

22. Severe attraction, major chemistry, I don't know about love.

This happens every few years, and being older, a little wiser, I don't act on it. I am in a committed relationship, a great marriage, in fact.

One thing I do that helps is that I try not to spend time with the person who I am attracted to. It helps prevent the drug-like quality of the experience, the chemical high.

[raccoon]

25. I second that,

"One thing I do that helps is that I try not to spend time with the person who I am attracted to."

[taterguy]

23. Early one morning the sun was shining

I was laying in bed, wondering if she had changed at all, if her hair was still red.

Yes, I've fallen in love a couple times with people I had no business being involved with. They were more level headed than I was and ended it. I cried. I drank. I listened to loud music. Eventually I got on with my life and did find my soul mate, but I'll always have fond memories.

[jukes]

24. only

everygoddamtime....

[jadedconformist]

26. So, are you going to spill it? N/T

[Writer]

27. LOL... no there's nothing to spill. Just a question that came to mind.

:)

On edit: I've been there before, however. That has long since passed... dissolved by the reality of the second gent's destructive personality.

[Dora]

28. Oh, yeah. Love's not fair, and it's a sneaker.

Love doesn't care about the details, y'know? Love is only concerned with the big picture, and wants only the best for all involved. In my case I met a married man who was eleven years my senior, and it was a love-at-first-sight event for us both.

We tried hard to stay away from each other for almost a year, but ultimately "failed." It was a rough start, and personally challenging, but love prevailed. We've been together for almost fifteen years, and married for a beautiful four. We have a shining blessed child, and his ex-wife has moved on to a new and loving relationship and also has a child.

Love is a wonderful thing if we allow it to be.

[Iniquitous Bunny]

29. Yes.

And no.

Edit: Changed my mind here. :(

[SoCalDemGrrl]

30. hasn't everyone???

I always used to go for the "bad boys", but they were so much more fun!!

[murielm99]

34. Bad boys are always more fun!

I even married one, the first time around.

[lwin]

31. Yep.

It hit me like a ton of bricks when I realized it. Never saw it coming. And I've got it bad.

I just choose to not go there...he's married and I've been in a long term relationship that is just ending. I don't know if he has any mutual feelings, and I hide mine pretty well (I hope). I avoid him as much as possible.

If he ever made a move, I'd be thrilled...and then run in the other direction. :rofl:

[blonndee]

32. Wow, amazing this is the first post I saw

in the lounge.

I love someone (and always will, no matter who I'm with) who broke up with me almost four years ago. He now lives in Germany, is married and has a baby.

I also have a boyfriend and will probably be engaged by this summer.

So I guess I love someone I shouldn't.

[BlueIris]

33. Yep and--"do"? I didn't do anything about it.

Obviously, because he was totally and completely wrong for me in every way, I didn't even think about acting on those feelings. Then again, my situation was relatively easy. I had the "wrong" sexual orientation for him, so I didn't have to agonize over whether or not he would even be interested in me, I already had my answer.