Dr. Amazing is in! Ask Dr. Amazing!

[Robb]

Yes, Dr. Amazing is in! Why Amazing? Because he knows everything about everything! Now that's amazing!

Ask him! Ask Dr. Amazing anything, and he'll answer! Why?

Because he's DR. AMAZING!!! :bounce:

[THUNDER HANDS]

1. question

For a distance of 1000 yards, what is the fastest land animal on the planet?

[Bozola]

4. Too easy

RAF pilot Andy Green.

[Robb]

6. An excellent question!

Amazingly, it's not what you think. You'd think it was the cheetah, wouldn't you? Well, you'd be wrong! Because you're not DR. AMAZING!!

A cheetah can only run for a few hundred yards at his AMAZING top speed of 65 MPH. Over the distance of 1000 yards, you'd better place your money on an AMAZING horse!

I'd tell you which horse, but the gaming commission has asked DR. AMAZING to keep that information to himself.

[THUNDER HANDS]

13. WRONG!

I knew I'd expose you as a fraud. Not only a fraud, but a oblivious fraud at that.

For a distance of 1000 yards, the fastest animal is the Siberian Husky.

:D

DUH!

[Robb]

18. Dr. Amazing Begs to Differ

Over 1000 yards, Dr. Amazing's huskies would never beat the amazing horse of which I speak! In fact, many mixed breeds (amazingly) would win -- such as the amazing Alaskan husky.

Amazingly, all-Siberian teams don't win Iditarod.

Amazed?

[THUNDER HANDS]

19. I challenge your credentials as "amazing"

Do you have a degree or certification I could see? :D

[Robb]

21. An excellent question!

Dr. Amazing holds a B.A. (Bachelor of the Amazing) in Amazing Studies from the University of Amazing, with a M.A. (Master of the Amazing) from Amazing Politechnikum and a Ph. A. (Do I need to tell you) from Amazing College of the Amazing Amazing.

Amazed?

[VelmaD]

2. Why won't...

he write me back?

[Robb]

7. An excellent question!

Amazingly, it's that he's a DORK. This distinguishes him from all other men in no way whatsoever.

Amazing? No, not for DR. AMAZING!

[VelmaD]

8. Thanks Dr. Amazing...

I feel so much better now that you've cleared that up for me. *smooch*

*repeats to self...all boys are dorks, all boys are dorks...*

[XNASA]

3. Who was the voice of Gollum in the Ralph Bakshi animated....

...version of Lord of the Rings?

No fair googling either, Dr. Amazing.

[Robb]

9. An excellent question!

You think DR. AMAZING uses google? Ha! That wouldn't be very AMAZING, now would it?

Amazingly, DR. AMAZING has the answer right in front of him, tatooed on his forearm: a person amazingly named Peter "But what else have I done in my career but do Gollum?" Woodthorpe.

Amazed?

[XNASA]

11. Wow. I am truly amazed.....

But only because I seem to have stumped Dr. Amazing in one swell foop.

Here's a hint. The person who voiced Gollum attained cult hero status in the 80's because of his dark and dreary appearances on a major talk show.

[Robb]

23. Dr. Amazing is never stumped!

Amazingly, Dr. Amazing sometimes feels compelled to allow other to show how amazing they can be as well!

Amazed? No, you are amazing!!

[XNASA]

28. Thank you for allowing me to feel truly amazing........

For the record. Gollum was voiced by Brother Theodore.

[theivoryqueen]

5. What are todays Texas lottery numbers?

and how can we stop this republican "juggernaut"?

[Robb]

12. An excellent question!

Today's lottery numbers are:
2 - 14 - 18 - 24 - 44, with the "megaplier" 4. These may not be the winning numbers, but they are numbers!

Amazed?

As to the "juggernaut", remember that's just another word for Vishnu's incarnation as Krishna. A republican who understands Sanskrit? Now that would be...

Amazing!

[theivoryqueen]

20. I am off to buy lottery ticket immediately!

thanks....

[Bertha Venation]

10. why, Dr. Amazing, does my boss

treat me like a child, a piece of shit, a slave?

And why don't I scream in his face and freekick him down the hall?

[Robb]

15. An excellent question!

Your boss suffers from an amazing affliction called Dapocaginous Persnicketitus, for which there is no cure. He will have to be ground into salt for the horses.

Amazing!

And you don't scream at him, nor do you kick him down the hall, because amazingly you recognize that horses (see earlier answer) prefer their salt unbruised.

Amazed?

[Bertha Venation]

26. I am truly amazed.

I would never, ever, feed bruised salt to horses, let alone feed my boss to them. I love horses.

Thank you!

[SlavesandBulldozers]

14. What is the best John Milius Movie?

Dr. AMazing?

[Robb]

17. An excellent question!

Amazingly, very few have seen his early, amazing work, under the amazing pseudonym Thor Stryder. His most amazing film was "Brassiere to Eternity".

Amazed?

[Lungs]

16. Why am I depressed all the time?

[Robb]

22. An excellent question!

Amazingly, you suffer from a lack of "good things to do or think about", which can be cured by an amazingly quick introduction of comic books and snowshoes into your environment.

Dr. Amazing stands by his thesis "No one who owns snowshoes is ever depressed".

[grannylib]

24. Why is my neck so stiff?? It hurts like hell

[Robb]

25. An excellent question!

Dr. Amazing wants you to know that you are not alone. Amazingly, most people on the planet suffer from the same stiff neck you have today. Why? The answer will amaze you. There is a man in the country of "America" who amazingly inhabits the "White House" (which is amazingly painted white!!). His actions over the course of his time there have caused an excess of slow, disbeliving head-shaking, usually in a side-to-side manner, all over the globe.

The human neck was never designed to withstand this. The only solution appears to be to vote Democratic.

Amazed?

[Bertha Venation]

27. Dr. Amazing, why don't my threads draw many responses?

<pout>

[Robb]

29. An excellent question!

Dr. Amazing has little data on standard threads, amazingly enough. Dr. Amazing can tell you, however, that any DU poll which includes "Robb is a Dingbat" as an option will be assured of receiving at least one vote.

Amazed?