Depression (please indulge me)

[terrya]

I see everyone at the office getting excited by the holidays...and I don't have those feelings. I feel like...like I'm enveloped in a world seemingly no else inhabits.

I've dealt with depression for several years now. And in spite of the anti-depressants I'm taking, sometimes it seems so overwhelming.

Today, at work, I was chewed out for some screw-ups that occurred. And my low self-image plunged even farther.

This isn't a plea for help or anything like that. I'm not sure what this is.

Thanks.

[Faygo Kid]

1. Chance to vent - that's OK

You are obviously familiar with depression (devastating, isn't it), so just remember that it causes you to look at life through a misbegotten fog. Everybody gets chewed out once in a while. Don't let it go to your self worth. If you made a mistake, move on; and remember, the people doing the chewing out have their own problems to deal with.

[johnnie]

2. From what...

..I have observed during the last few holiday seasons, most people seem to be loosing that joyful holiday spirit. I, myself have not enjoyed the holidays in a long time and have seemed a bit depressed.
I have also observed that people in general are becoming more depressed and I am blown away by the amount of people I know who are on anti-depressants. I'm not going to state my true feelings about it all here, but I hear you and please don't feel all alone out there.
I honestly hope that all goes well for you and all others who battle depression here at DU. I am just curious as to what happened to happiness and hope?

[smirkymonkey]

3. See the thread on highly sensitive people...

It might help you to not feel so alone w/ your feelings. There are a LOT of people who feel that way around the holidays. Take care!! :)

[bif]

4. You're not alone

I've talked to several people who just aren't into the holiday spirit this year. Maybe the over commercialization is coming to a head. Aht shitty Christmas blaring everywhere I go doesn't help. I hate that crap. I even mentioned to my family that maybe we should just skip the tree this year. Boy, that went over like a fart in church!

Hang in there!

[trotsky]

5. Have you looked into light therapy?

The body makes a lot of stuff in the skin when exposed to sun - Vitamin D is only the most famous of those.

In Scandinavian countries, near the Arctic Circle, the lack of exposure to sunlight for the long winter months was linked to depression.

There are sites on the net that sell "whole light" lamps & bulbs, that mimic sunlight by giving you the full spectrum of light, not just the infrared side like incandescents or a combination of a few spectrum lines like fluorescent.

And the thing is, in today's modern life, this is no longer a seasonal thing. We get up early, spend our entire day in a windowless office, work late, and get barely any sunlight at all - even in the summer.

Good luck & don't quit looking for help! Depression is natural and treatable.

[jokerman93]

6. I've struggled with depression as well

most of my life.

I understand how sometimes having a community of people you can trust to accept you is terribly important in these days of pervasive and unnatural divisiveness.

I think many times depression is the result of intuiting the reality of our situation on a deep level and being unable to find a conscious foothold against it. The fact is we're living through a radical time of planet-wide revolutionary change. Everywhere we look, we are witnessing desperate power grabs and vast manipulations by the media of the public conscience.

...And very few people seem to notice. That's something very real to be concerned about!

Hang in there terrya. You're probably one of the lucky ones with an intuitive grasp of the situation, but there is hope and there is power.

They still reside inside you somewhere.

All my best to you during this strange and emotionally difficult holiday season of 2003-2004.

Endure, get strong, thrive!

Yours,
Jokerman

:hi:

[Jim Sagle]

8. Excellent post - no joke at all.

A tidal wave of evil emanating from our White House is washing over the world. On some level we all know it. It makes us sad to sense how little we can do about it.

[Kamika]

7. Aren't there any support groups for this?

I don't know if you're alone on christmas or not, but if you are check if there are any groups of lone ppl that gets together on christmas there are bound to be some.. if not I just gave you a great business idea :)

[Bertha Venation]

9. oh, honey

:hug: God, do I know how you feel. You're not alone.

[soleft]

10. I've dealt with depression and major depression

meds are key but if there's any way you can do some kind of therapeutic work - whether it's individual therapy, group therapy, any kind of support group through various community centers, workshops - or reading - which I know is a daunting task when you don't feel well to begin with.

I find now that my moods go up and down, not to extremes, but when I am feeling depressed if I allow myself to wait it out it usually lifts.

Taking action to help yourself will also have immediate positive results in the self esteem dept.

Sending good vibes your way.

[corarose]

11. 1/3 of this country has problems with Depression

At least that was the figures that one of the news channels gave on cable this morning.

I have depression from loosing my teeth this year and all of my belongings. I don't care about possessions but my Teeth has been very had to deal with.

If you have a good friend around to help you that's the best thing but if you don't then it gets worse. Sometimes each day is a struggle to go on.

Being chewed out does not help anything and the person doing the chewing out had problems himself and he is taking them out on you.

I live in a cramped space with two people that argue constantly and I have no way of escaping except when I go to College and get on the INTERNET.

It's so difficult in your work life and your home life when you are around difficult people who have problems.

[terrya]

12. Thank you, my friends.

A big reason why I come here so often is the spirit of friendliness.

I try to deal with my depression as best as I can. I am in therapy right now for it...working with a very good therapist. Plus, I'm taking Celexa and Wellbutrin.

One thing I've mentioned to my therapist is that I've seen my depression as a sign of weakness...thus, contributing to my self esteem problems. I know, objectively, that depression has nothing to do with weakness or strength. But it's kind of hard to shake old perceptions.

I want to thank everyone in advance for your thoughts and kind words on my seemingly self indulgent post. It feels good just talking about it here.

Terry

[corarose]

13. I am going back to my Group

I haven't been there in months and I need them but I quit going because of the Doctor who told everyone to vote for her Republican Brother who was running for Congress or the Senate.
She was the craziest Doctor that I have ever encountered. One time this nut put me in a room at told me that she was going to take my blood pressure but there was this new technique out that you have to rest in the room with the lights out. She came back 1 hour later with a coworker and a bag with food in it which meant that she had gone to lunch and I called her on it and she flipped out.

She was fired several months ago and I need to go back to my group and talk things out.

We are all gastric bypass patients that have problems prior to the surgery. No one gets up to 290 for no reason at all.

Find a group that doesn't have a crazy Doctor in it.

It's hard during the holidays to make it through and this is going to be the worse Christmas for me in my life and I know.

A group is the best thing for you.

God Bless & Good Luck

[Ellen Forradalom]

14. Feel just the same way

even down to the "it's not a plea for help--don't know what it is" sentiment. That's why I don't post the same thing--I'm not sure what I'd be asking for.

But you're far from alone. After 40 odd times the holidays wear a bit thin. Plus there isn't a hell of a lot to celebrate in this country this year.

[jpgray]

15. What helps me when I'm down

Exercise--If I don't exercise I get lousy sleep and feel like shit in the morning, and that usually carries through the rest of the day.

No TV and no PC make jpgray something something--These two things will depress you if you spend to much time at either.

DO something--Call up a friend/relative, go for a walk, write a letter to the editor, short story, whatever--paint, draw, act out a play with your cats so the neighbor kids can call you "the crazy cat lady". Do something that will take your mind for a break, giving it one simple thing to focus on. An instrument, exercise, anything that cleans out your brain.

[elfin]

16. Holidays just make things worse

Ride it out - one thing to perk you up MIGHT be to think of a small, but perfect gift for someone - anyone - that you just know they will get a kick out of and watch them open it. Making someone else happy even while you are not may bring the "bump" you need to get through this time.

[LynneSin]

17. Check with your doctor about your meds

Many of the SSRI meds will start building a tolerance after a long period of time. You may need to have your dosage adjusted or try something different. Some of the newer SSRIs are designed so your body doesn't develop a tolerance.

Good Luck.

I find by donating to a worthy cause helps me through the holiday depression. My friends and family know I'm anti-Christmas and do their best not to bug me about it. However, these past few years I've put up a small Xmas tree in my house. Maybe I'm coming around

[geniph]

18. If you're having trouble with self-esteem causing depression

then one thing you can do to help with your self-image is to do something you know is good. Volunteer for an afternoon at a food bank dishing out soup, or buy inexpensive blankets and coats to donate to a shelter. Work in your local animal shelter for awhile. Volunteer to help Meals on Wheels deliver to homebound elderly and ill folks. Stuff like that. It'll make you feel better about yourself, and distract you for awhile from dwelling on other problems.

The worst thing any depressive can do (and I say this as a chronic depressive of more than 40 years) is to brood. It helps nothing to obsess about one's problems. I'm sure your therapist has told you that, but it doesn't help much to spend too much time inactive, either. Find a way to do something nice for someone else; that's almost guaranteed to help for a bit.

[Cheswick2.0]

19. I have no idea if the "chewing out" was fair or unfair

but I will bet you are taking it too much to heart. No matter what Terrya, you are okay just exactly as you are. None of us is perfect and you should not expect to be either.
As for the holidays, I had to solve my holiday depression by going back to church. You might want to find some other way to cope, like dropping off food at the soup kitchen or finding a child who needs something and providing it in secret. You could be Santa to some child and by making their christmas better, you might find you have helped yourself too.

[enough]

20. About the holidays

Terrya, I share your feelings about the holidays, and have felt that way for a long time.

One thing I did after my kids got to be 16 or so -- I talked about it with my family and figured out that everyone would take care of whatever part of the holiday mattered to them. So that it was no longer all the responsiblity of the Mother (me) to make a perfect holiday for every one.

I don't know what your family situation is, but whatever it is I think it really helps to think about whether there is any part of the holidays that you LIKE, and concentrate on that. Drop the stuff that you don't care about. You can do this partly by just daydreaming about what your fantasy Christmas would be and zeroing in on that. Forget everything else. And if your fantasy Christmas is no Christmas at all -- do that.

Even drop the things you think you HAVE to do. I haven't done Christmas cards, or Christmas cookies, in years. I worked on my extended family for several years to stop exchaning gifts among the adults. Now nobody misses them at all.

Where is it written that we all have to behave in lockstep during the six weeks from Thanksgiving to New Year. NOWHERE.

Even with all these changes, I still wish the holidays would just disappear, but it is much better than it used to be.

I wish you luck in these next few weeks.