Telephone solicitations

[eileen from OH]

I signed up for the no-call registry and since then have seen an INCREASE in the number of calls. Today was the kicker and I am NOT making this up (well, okay, mebbe a little bit - but I DO love to torture phone telemarketers. . .)

CALLER: Hello, is Steve (mangling of last name with sounds of others in the background making calls.) there?

ME: Why, yes he is. Thank you for asking. He was a little late getting home but praise the lord he's here now and helping with dinner.

CALLER: Is he available?

ME: Hmm, Depends. We're on the no-call list, just so you know.

CALLER: Well, that doesn't apply to me. Is he available?

ME: Well, yes, I guess he would be available UNLESS you're calling about re-financing our mortgage, a great deal on family portraits, an extraordinary carpet cleaning offer, someone coming to our area to give a bid on replacement windows, a free vacation, consolidating our massive debt or. . .

CALLER: (Interrupting): Who is this?

ME: You don't know? But you called me! Okay, this is Stephen's wife, Eileen. I'm a Sagittarius and I love long walks on the beach and ice cold margueritas and old Nat King Cole records and I'm the one who pays the bills and registered us for the goddam no call registry.

CALLER: You're Stephen's wife?

ME: Why yes I am! I'm a Sagittarius and I love long walks on the beach and. . .

CALLER: (Interrupting) I think you're lying to me.

ME: No, no, really. . .I was born on November 24th which makes me kinda close to the cusp but still I'm a Sag. ..

CALLER: (Interrupting): I WANT TO TALK TO STEPHEN. IS HE AVAILABLE OR NOT?

ME: What? Oh, he says he can talk to you in a minute. While we're waiting, you want to talk to our dog? Come here, boy, come on, Sphincter. . .

hang up

heeeheeheee

eileen from OH

[kath]

1. Good one, Eileen! Best laugh I've had in awhile.

[Kenneth ken]

2. LOL !

very funny. Good job Eileen.