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Universe, The. Some information to help you live in it. (HHGTTG)

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Wonk Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-13-03 01:36 AM
Original message
Universe, The. Some information to help you live in it. (HHGTTG)
1. Area: infinite.

2. Imports: none.

It is impossible to import things into an infinite area, there being no outside to import things from.

3. Exports: none.

See Imports.

4. Population: none.

It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination.

5. Monetary Units: none.

In fact there are three freely convertible currencies in the Galaxy, but none of them count. The Altairian Dollar has recently collapsed, the Flainian Pobble Bead is only exchangeable for other Flainian Pobble Beads, and the Triganic Pu has its own very special problems. Its exchange rate of eight Ningis to one Pu is simple enough, but since a Ningi is a triangular rubber coin six thousand eight hundred miles along each side, no one has ever collected enough to own one Pu. Ningis are not negotiable currency, because the Galactibanks refuse to deal in fiddling small change. From this basic premise it is very simple to prove that the Galactibanks are also the product of a deranged imagination.

6. Art: none.

The function of art is to hold the mirror up to nature, and there simply isn't a mirror big enough - see point one.

7. Sex: none.

Well, in fact there is an awful lot of this, largely because of the total lack of money, trade, banks, art, or anything else that might keep all the nonexistent people of the Universe occupied.

http://hhgproject.org/entries/universe.html

What are your favorite bits from the HHGTTG series?
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kayleybeth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-13-03 01:54 AM
Response to Original message
1. Planet Earth:
Mostly harmless.
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Wonk Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-13-03 10:03 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. DON'T PANIC
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-13-03 10:14 PM
Response to Original message
3. I could relate well to Marvin!
Edited on Sat Dec-13-03 10:15 PM by HypnoToad
But he'd avoid me too. :D

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Salviati Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-13-03 10:21 PM
Response to Original message
4. Share and Enjoy!
Share and enjoy!
Journey through life with a plastic boy
or girl by your side
let your pal be your guide
and when it breaks down
or starts to annoy
and brings you no joy
cause it's eaten your hat
or had sex with your cat
bled oil on the floor
or ripped off your door
and gets to the point you can't stand any more
bring it to us
we won't give a fig
we'll tell you:
Go stick your head in a pig!
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