CEO's Marital Duties Outsourced to Mexican Groundskeeper

[WhoCountsTheVotes]

GROSSE POINTE, MI—As part of the ongoing trend toward replacing U.S. workers with foreign labor, the marital duties of United Carborundum CEO Howard Reinhardt have been outsourced to his Mexican groundskeeper, industry sources revealed Monday.

"It was time for a change," said Reinhardt's wife Melanie, who has been married to the CEO for 17 years and has conducted her sexual business almost exclusively with him since 1984. "While I was generally satisfied with the level of servicing that I received under Howard, it was my feeling that a younger, more aggressive hand on the tiller might bring some new ideas into play. No matter how mutually satisfying the old deal was, its time had passed."

Although specific terms of the arrangement have not been made public, Melanie allowed that she has been "very pleased" by the new supplier—Jorge Escobedo, a 26-year-old gardener from Sierra Mojada who has been working in the U.S. since February.

http://www.theonion.com/3948/news2.html


Above: Hardworking groundskeeper Jorge Escobedo and his employers, Howard and Melanie Reinhardt.

[KCDem]

1. that groundskeepr is a hottie

If TxLib wants to outsource his marital duties, I won't complain. :evilgrin:

[Breezy du Nord]

2. yowsa

:)

[thom1102]

3. He can work my property anytime!

[Melsky]

4. LOL

I pegged that as a onion headline before I opened the thread. Good one!

[supernova]

5. Oohh, Landscape me, baby!

:D

I love a man who can handle a ho'