Is my nine-year-old niece turning into a freeper?

[Pale Blue Dot]

Megan, my niece (who I adore), has asked for those "Bratz" dolls for Christmas. However, she told her mom specifically that she did not want the black Bratz doll. Her mom (my sister-in-law) was very upset about this (as was I), which surprised me because I have always thought of my sister-in-law as not very bright and kind of freepish. Her theory is that she is hearing racist talk at school from her friends.

My question is, at nine years old, is this something to worry about? Is my niece developing racist tendencies, or is she merely expressing a desire to have dolls that look more like her? How would you handle this?

[SOteric]

1. I think I'd ask her pretty directly why she didn't want that doll.

Kids her age sometimes have the oddest logic for things. At 8 one of my nephews wanted to paint his fingernails pink. None of his friends did this, and the question was asked, - what's up with that?

He looks a lot like his dad. And he'd been hearing a lot about it lately. He just wanted something about him to look more like his mom, and this was within his control. Socio-cultural ramifications hadn't occurred to him.

[hedda_foil]

2. Sit your niece down with her dolls and ask her some questions

Find out why she only wants the white dolls and not the black one. Knowing little girls, it's likely that the black one isn't "popular" with the in-crowd of 9-year olds. For most of them it's not a race thing yet ... just what's in. You can probably move her a bit from there, and talk about real people but if the doll isn't one of the popular ones, she probably won't be convinced to want it. That's not really the point, though. People are.

[Fovea]

3. Ask your neice why

and be prepared to hear that it is a bigger problem than you realize.
My friend's daughter grew up a DARE girl, and was always do down on everything that was not mainstream. Her freeper indoctrination began at school, but not from other students.

The daughter started an Administration of Justice Degree, just in time to be maced and nightsticked by a cop at a party not long ago. Now she is dealing with a collapsing world view.

She is still a bit freeperish, but has lost her sense of moral superiority. Getting hit with a nightstick for minding your own business will do that to you. She has been forced to give up a major fantasy. Officer friendly can be more important to a kid than the tooth fairy when they are taught to be scared of everything different. After all, there is nothing more 'the same', as a uniform.

I do believe she has changed majors. That is a first step. I have always wished her well, even though her opinions were repugnant to me. Maybe one of these days we will talk. I want to tell her how the comfort of conformity becomes soul killing when it requires you to do what you know is evil.

Faced with Arendt's banality of evil, you must put on bright things, speak truthfully, and see the the colors, not just the gray, black, and white in the world.

[southerngirlwriter]

4. It depends on the kid.

A 9 year old girl can be, like, 9 years old mentally, or a 9 year old girl can be like a 15 year old mentally. Girls mature at a rapid rate, and some mature so quickly that it's truly frightening.

If she thinks and acts like a 9 year old kid, I'd maybe talk to her gently and not freak out.

If she's one of those scary 9 year olds who could sometimes pass for an adult (hope you know what I mean) you might have a problem.

[last_texas_dem]

5. It's possible...

...but like some posters above suggested it could just be due to following what's popular more than necessarily out of racism; although what dictates popularity among others may very well be due to racism.

If she does have certain views at a young age it may be meaningless, though. For example, when I was nine years old I was so influenced by those around me to the point that my political views were pretty mixed-up. I was a party-line Democrat (because my grandpa was) but "supported" Perot because my parents did; I supported the death penalty, was anti-abortion, and thought welfare was bad simply because those were common views around where I lived. Once a child gets older, despite what they may have thought when they were younger, and really starts thinking more deeply about their views they will likely become liberal- at least if they've been raised the right way! haha :-)

[salinen]

6. All 9 year olds are freepers

Adolescence is a time when we only know what we want. It's basic and important at that age. It will be trouble if it's the same at 18. My definition of freeper is one who never advances past this stage.

[HEyHEY]

7. Well, it may not be a race issue

Maybe she just doesn't like the black doll because she can't identify with it.

[Ykstolob]

8. Did anyone else, when they read the topic,

start thinking of that old horror movie Village of the Damned? Now, if that was remade with freeper children instead of aliens...*shudder*

[NightTrain]

9. Yes, it *is* something for you to worry about!

And I speak from experience; I was brought up in a racist household.

As far back as I can remember, my relatives bandied about ugly racial slurs as if they were harmless and common. That shit burned itself into my psyche beginning at an obscenely young age. To this day, I'm having trouble completely exorcising those demons from my soul.

As such, you've every reason to be concerned about your niece. This is something about which her immediate family needs to talk to her ASAP! If she's only nine, then I'd say it's still possible to undo whatever harm those brats at school have caused.

[scottcsmith]

10. You could be sneaky

There's a collection of four Bratz dolls (the "Lil" variety), I'm not sure where you'd get them (sold out at Amazon.com), but that might be a way to introduce a diverse set of dolls to your niece.



She might like getting the set so much she forgets the nonsense on not wanting the black Bratz doll.