Magic Rat's Magic Rant - 10 Random Things I Hate

[THUNDER HANDS]

1. I hate when you're on line at the mall, or in a store, and the line is really really long and you move about a foot at a time. But what really bugs me about it is when you move an inch and the person behind you also moves up an inch, and is practically breathing on your neck the whole way up to the register. MOVE BACK ASSHOLE!!!

2. I hate parents who don't watch their kids and let them run all over the place in public. The general public is NOT your babysitter. When (if) I have kids I'm keeping them on a chain. DAMMIT PEOPLE...LEARN SOME PARENTING SKILLS OR STAY THE *F* HOME!!!

3. I hate going out to a public place and seeing 15,000 Christmas decorations and ONE MEASLY MENORAH. As if Christmas actually occurs more often than Chanukah does. TREAT THEM EQUALLY DAMMIT...JEWS NEED LOVE TOO.

4. I hate that value meals don't come in small size. Why not. How come I can get a hamburger, small fries and a small drink if I order them all seperately, but if I want the meal I have to get at least a medium. MAKE MY VALUE MEAL SELECTIONS MORE FAIR DAMMIT!!!

5. I hate that gas pumps always slow down when you get to the last 20-cents worth. STOP SLOWING DOWN DAMMIT, I HAVE THINGS TO DO!!!

6. I hate that sports stadiums don't let you bring food to the games anymore. I DON'T FELL LIKE PAYING $5.50 FOR A HOTDOG, OKAY JERKY!!!

7. I hate that there was no Return of the King preview in the Lord of the Rings: Two Towers extended version. I DON'T NEED 15 DIFFERENT COMMENTARIES. SHOW ME THE KING!!

8. I hate that Fox News is simultaneously the network with the worst news coverage and best graphics and layout design. Such a waste of talented artists. I HATE WASTED TALENT DAMMIT!!!!!

9. I hate that no matter how many times you vaccum, you can never get ALL the pine needles out of the carpet after you bring the tree home. WHY DID YOU SELL ME A DEFECTIVE TREE DAMMIT!!!!

10. I hate Linkin Park. The band. Possibly the worst music I've ever heard. WHY DO YOU CONTINUE TO PROMOTE THIS CRAP MTV, IT SUCKS!!!!....DAMMIT!!!

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... whew, that felt good.

Okay...now you. What 10 random things do you hate?

[Padraig18]

1. Holiday shopping, were you?

:P

[THUNDER HANDS]

2. can you tell?

:D

[Padraig18]

3. It's a BIT obvious, yes...

;)

[SOteric]

4. Often, I read or work on

this page: http://edgewise.org/Edgewise

And as a result completely lose the will to rant about traffic, value meals and MTV.

[VelmaD]

5. Now this I can get into...

I live to kvetch.

10 Random Things I Hate

1. I hate how every fuckin apartment in Austin has beige carpet. I hate beige. Fucking non-color.

2. I hate ho every time I find a soap or candles or bubblebath with a scent I like they stop making it.

3. I hate how they do 3 or 4 different versions of a movie on dvd. Do on fucking version with all the special features on it so I don't have to buy more than one copy goddammit.

4. I hate how all the really pretty holiday cards specifically mention Christmas. I have non-christian friends celebrating holidays this time of year and I myself am not a christian. I want a pretty holiday card dammit.

5. I hate how people are really rude on the bus. They try to force their way onto the bus when you're trying to get off. They don't give their seats to pregnant women and the elderly and people carrying lots of packages.

6. I hate how they're always rearranging things at the grocery store. I know it just so I have to spend more time looking for what I want and so I'll maybe buy something on impulse while I'm looking.

7. I hate all the anti-Dallas Cowboy sentiment that gets expressed on this board. I'm a liberal and I grew up in the Dallas area and I love my Cowboys. I don't bad-mouth your team so shut up about mine.

8. I hate people who think their commute to work is an automotive slalom. Changing lanes won't get you there one bit faster. If you're in that big of a hurry you should have left home earlier.

9. I hate my job. I hate having to spend 8 hours every day in a windowless hole to make just enough money to survive.

10. I hate that everything that tastes good has too many calories and too much fat in it.

[TXlib]

17. Rude bus people

When I was a grad student in Champaign-Urbana IL, I remember riding the bus all the time; I was routinely amazed by how many people tried to push their way onto the bus before others had gotten off.

It got to the point that if I was trying to get off, and somebody else was trying to shove their way in past me, I'd brace myself and shove back hard, with the intent of knocking the fucker off the bus and onto his/her ass. And I kept my thumb on the trigger of my mace, just in case.

[sendero]

22. re #10

Hey I have good news! It's not the fat. Really. It's the carbs!

Now you can stop enjoying anything with refined carbs, because they are truly the enemy!!!!

[SiobhanClancy]

6. I'm full of hate tonight....

Grrrr....:mad:

1) Parents who live RIGHT ABOVE ME and let their young children run laps till 1 AM(if I'm lucky)

2) People who sit next to you on the T and chatter away on their cellphones about EXTREMELY personal matters.

3) People who REFUSE TO SHOVEL their sidewalks even DAYS after a snowstorm so you have to walk in the street.

4) People who borrow things and don't bring them back...I've been waiting a YEAR for my good black coat...and I've mentioned it numerous times.

5) People who check out library books and manage to get really gross ooky stuff on the pages. When I'm in the middle of a good book,I hate to have go take a puke break.

6) Gangs of teenagers who get on public transportation and act like idiots,trying to intimidate other people...I mean,we're all in this rat race together,right?

7) Those annoying people who think they are the last word on wine,art,etc...pretentious snobs.

8) People who don't pick up the dog poop on public walkways.

9) If people MUST wear strong scents,could they please not wear cheap,nasty-smelling ones?

10) People who think there is any issue more important than getting that maniac mushbrain out of the White House.

Thank you:)

[Djinn]

8. ditto on the public babysitting thing

but my personal slant on it is

1. People who let their brats scream and run in hospitals/Dr's waiting rooms WE'RE HERE BECAUSE WE'RE SICK!

2. Christmas decorations up anytime before December 1st

3. People who wander through shopping malls staring at everything around them EXCEPT where they're going and subsequently ram you with a trolley full of Harry Twatter and saddle club merchandise

4. The crappy EFTPOS machines that you insert the card rather than swiping and that scratches off your magnetic strip so it wont work at the next shop

5. People who wait till the very last minute to merge in traffic so that everyone has to come to screaming halt to let them in

6. People who rather than ask "do you mind not smoking" just stand and cough loudly at bus stops as if my one ciggie is making the slightest bit of difference to the carbon monoxide ingestion YOU'RE STANDING ON A MAIN ROAD IN PEAK HOUR FUCK WIT

7. Telemarketers and door to door salesmen who wont take a polite "no", no matter how many times you say it, forcing you to tell them to FUCK OFF more aggresively

8. Winter in Melbourne - bleak and cold and wet - the worst bit though is everyone whinging "it's too hot" when summer finally rolls around

9. That Australia is 12,000 miles from Scotland and the airfares are too high to visit the fam as often as I would like

10. John Howard

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

7. #6 reminds me of...

when I saw a concert about two years ago (AREA2 at PNC Bank Arts Center) and my friend & I managed to get our drugs into the show, but security took away our protein bars.

[onebigbadwulf]

9. I hate

10. Nagging

9. People who date only a certain kind of person

8. People who try to tell you a story when you're watching TV

7. When it takes at least two years to see the sequel to a movie

6. That my computer is extra loud and sometimes screeches

5. Kidney stones

4. Having to pretend to be caring and loving to people you dont like on the holidays.

3. The fact that fast food is bad for you

2. Commercials is every and all forms

1. RESPONSIBILITY!

[Padraig18]

10. My 10:

1.) People who break the spine on a new paperback, then put it back on the rack, leaving to me the chore of convincing the next person who wants to buy it that it's new, and not used.

2.) Grocery stores that sell boxer shorts, fish bait and God knows what else, and cut into the retail space for FOOD in order to do so.

3.) Motorists who are too timid to pass me while I'm riding my bike, even when I wave them on, thereby causing me to become so nervous that you couldn't drive a 10-penny nail up my arse with a sledgehammer and some axle grease.

4.) Motorists who don't understand that not only do cyclists have to obey the same rules of the road that they do, but that we also enjoy the same RIGHTS!

5.) People who will NOT control their children in a public place, but who will also not take them elsewhere.

6.) People who never tip the newspaper carrier, even when their service is excellent; those guys make VERY little money, and if you can afford a daily newspaper, you can afford to give the kid 2 or 3 bucks a month for a tip.

7.) People who leave the shopping cart in the middle of the parking lot after they unload it, even though there is a 'returned cart' stall 10 feet away.

8.) Men who hit women--- low-life, cowardly scum. 'nuff said.

9.) People at McDonald's who ask, "Would you like fries with that?"; if I WANTED some f*****g fries, I would have ORDERED fries, you twit!

10.) Restaurants that bring me a Pepsi, when I order a Coke, and then tell me 'it's just the same." No, it isn't.

Wow! I feel better! :P

[put out]

11. I like an excuse for griping.

1. I hate kids skiing/sledding/boarding down my back yard. It's tons of fun and the best sledding hill in the hood, but it scares my ears off to watch them. I can't stop them, believe me I've tried. I'm going to get sued one of these days.

2. Suits with no pockets stink bad. Cheap stuff that costs a lot of money and no place to put your hands.

3. I hate people who say "My husband and I are pretty big fans of George Bush" and then can't tell me why. I don't actually hate them, but please oh please think about it a little bit.

4. I hate that I had Lasik and still need reading glasses in the morning, late at night, and in dim light. That in itself doesn't bother me, but when someone sees me put them on, they make a big deal about my wasting all that money. It's my money, my eyes, and yes, it was worth every penny. Cowards.

5. Man, I'm on a roll. I hate parents who think special exceptions should be made for their children, because the parents can't get it together. Well, guess what? If you continue to screw up and your child pays a (very very minor) price for it, maybe you will stop screwing up. Or maybe your child will look at you and say "Mom/Dad, quit screwing up!" I'm not letting an adult off the hook if they are making their kid's life a little more difficult through screwing-up-ness.

6. I hate that some people make stuff so much more complicated than it needs to be. Why mess around with dry ice, heating lamps, elaborately constructed boxes, all that sh*t, when measuring heat transfer? Wouldn't hot water in a jug work too? Dang science projects.

7. I hate shopping. If you are hungry enough, you can find food in the kitchen to fulfil your caloric needs. Quit bugging me about it.

8. And while we're on the subject, don't put one morsel of food into your mouth unless and until you have fed and watered the animal. I hate that too.

9. I hate that people comment on my weight. I am tempted to guess their weight like a carnival barker, "Step right up and win some crap!"

10. I hate that I don't have the nerve to just say all this each and every time my delicate sensibilites are offended. But then everyone wouldn't love me like they do.

11. Because I am a Spinal Tap kind of person. I hate my typos and grammar mistakes. I never see them until I show them to the world.

[DrBB]

12. Re: Gas pumps

I HATE self-serve gas pumps that don't have the little clip thingy that lets you set the pump going and then GET BACK IN YOUR CAR. Which is like 99% of all self-serve stations. But every once in a while you hit one that DOES have it. Which proves that there's NO reason the rest of 'em couldn't.

And maybe if you live in southern California you think this is no big deal. But if you live in New England, well, take a look out the window. It's a serious quality of life issue. Serious, man, I'm not joking.

[Catfish]

16. Yes

I hate this and have had gas spurt out all over me because of it. Sometimes I splurge and get gas pumped at the station where I have my car serviced. It's a little more but they deserve the business and it's a little luxury to not do it myself (especially in bad weather).

[KCDem]

13. I hate people without kids who give me parenting advice.

Just remember: Everybody's a better parent BEFORE they have kids.

[Red State Rebel]

23. My sisters used to be good at that - then they had their own..hahaha!!

[Catfish]

14. I'm feeling fairly mellow tonight

so won't be able to come up with any strong hates.

1. Picking up dog poop in the back yard.

2. Same dislike of people who get food and gunk on pages of library books.

3. Same annoyance with people who can't put the shopping carts where they belong in the lots.

4. Chain restaurants.

5. Fake seafood, especially when served in a restaurant and sold as the real thing. If you want to sell colored fish paste, tell me please.

6. Our lazy U.S. corporate media.

7. People who don't put their weights back in the weight room or who steal mine when I'm still using them.

8. Christmas decorations still up in February.

9. People who neglect and mistreat their pets.

10. People who easily lie.

[DrBB]

15. Oh, and I hate hate HATE language-censored movies on TV

Especially the ones where they insert words instead of just blanking things out. "Freaking" for "fucking," for example. If you don't like the fucking language, don't show the fucking move, god fucking dammit.

Worst one--oh how it pains me--is Blazing Fucking Saddles. Because what happens is, twenty-odd years ago they bowdlerized the poor thing for TV, and ever since then THAT'S the only version they ever show. And what's so STUPID about it--and almost ALL censored movies have the same problem--is that the jokes don't even make any SENSE in the censored version. You know? Whole punchlines get obliterated, the meaning of whole scenes is eradicated. But the movie runs blithely along as if it all made sense. Like the bean-eating scene in Blazing Saddles, where in the TeeVee version they cut out the farting sounds. The fucking FARTING sounds, can you imagine? IN BLAZING SADDLES. What the fuck do they think the title MEANS for cripessake. What do they thing Gov. Petomaine's name refers to? Arrrrrrrgggh! And of course it's ridiculously tame compared to your average South Park episode, that's what's so sickening about it. It's not like the stations or anyone else even CARES about the stuff they cut out anymore. It's just that that's the version of the movie that circulates on cable, and for whatever reason--money, intertia, stupidity, lack of anything remotely resembling a creative sensibility among programming executives--there can't be any question of acquiring a copy of the original and showing that, oh no. If ever there were evidence for the sheer vapidity of TeeVee executives, cable or otherwise, this is it....

[ComerPerro]

18. Um, ok, about number 4

You could always just get a kids meal...

If you get that, it comes with a free toy.

[sistersofmercy]

19. Ok my ten

1. I hate the technical cheaters at a four way stop. The ones who know you're going to get to the line first, so they stop ten feet back, managed through their cheating to stop first and then gun it.

2. I hate the "sell by" dates on foods. What does this "sell by" mean when I get it home? I get to guess how much longer it is good beyond that date.

3. I hate that I have to drive to Whole Foods to buy unsalted cashews.

4. I hate when people meet me they will often tell me to get a tan when I don't even freckle well and my legs are so white I swear the relect the sun.

5. I also hate being called skinny when I'm actually just thin or slim.

6. I hate rude behavior of any kind.

7. I hate gossiping.

8. I hate that I can cook different gourmet cuisines but can't manage to make decent deviled eggs.

9. I hate when I'm running late always seem to be caught behind a bus at some point.

10. I hate buying a cd when I like a song only to discover that's the only good song on the cd.

[SiobhanClancy]

20. What is it about deviled eggs??

I have the same exact problem. Even worse,when I lived in rural Maine I had 5 charming little red hens(Camilla,Cassie,Caroline,Charlotte and Chloe). I thought that constant supply of eggs would help me perfect the lowly deviled egg. They were just...never...quite...right:(

[sistersofmercy]

21. I don't know but wish I did

Way cool that you had your own hens! My Grandparents had a farm and I spent my summer on their farm eating fresh eggs.:9