Alton Brown in Microwave Meal Scandal

[ChoralScholar]

From:
http://www2.brainsnap.com/culture/alton_brown_in_microwave_meal_scandal



ATLANTA, GA - "I had a lapse," says Alton.

Food Network viewers are in shock today amid revelations that celebrity genius Alton Brown was seen shopping for microwave meals in the Star Market near his home in Georgia.

"I was hungry and access to my fridge was blocked by my Creme Brule arc welder," Mr Brown told distressed fans.

Although Alton Brown is considered to be the only intelligent person on cable television, many consider this faint praise. Critics claim his lateral-thinking approach to cooking is setting a bad example for young children.

"His show is a poor preparation for working life," says White House education advisor Ruth Blair. "Our economy is burdened enough without children getting too distracted by science - we can already import plenty of clever young people from India. The current textbooks, covering subjects like why Jesus invented gravity to why liberal theories of so-called evolution are bad for your teeth, are plenty good for future generations."

The pin-up boy for girls who want to grow up and write encyclopaedias, Alton's self-deprecatory style and failure to grandstand has baffled television executives for years.

"Alton Brown makes Mcguyver look like Richard Dean Anderson or something," says one loyal fan who admits it's hard coming to terms with how freakishly education television has become.

Meanwhile, Alton is believed to be consulting celebrity British-man Hugh Grant for career guidance.

"What I did was terribly, terribly stupid," he told Brainsnap. "I was shopping with complete disregard to my own personal safety."

Alton Brown's new book Cooking with Modern Explosives will be available in all good bookstores on April 1.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

1. He's got a cool shirt, though.