I may have just single-handedly ruined my college career....

[Blade]

I am a junior in college, 80 credits, and not the best student ever. I just got my grades back from this semester, and I failed one class, got a D- in another, a C in geology, and a C- in speech. Now my cumulative GPA is a little below a 2.0.

This isn't the first time I've done bad in a semester. I messed up two previous semesters as well; freshman year and sophomore year.

My problem isn't lack of intelligence. My problem is a number of things, including: ADHD, manic-depression, anxiety, and OCD.

Having mental disorders suck. Not only does it mess up ones life in general, it also messes up a college career. I really hate this. I am getting help with my problems, but it doesn't seem to be working. I've taken numerous different medications, still nothing. I just don't know what to do anymore.

Why must I suffer with this? Was I bad in a previous life? I believe there is a hell, and I'm living there now.

I get one more chance to redeem myself here in college, and knowing me, I'll mess it up.

Please don't feel sorry for me. I just wanted to share this with you all because I have no one else to talk to. Flame away all you want, I don't care anymore.

I just pray to God that I can get my life back together before it's too late. (No, I'm not gonna do anything stupid, if that's what you're thinking.) I don't want to end up messing up my life like the rest of my family has because of various mental disorders. :( :cry: :scared:

[MinnFats]

1. hey, don't give up yet.

please, too, dont use that self-defeating tone...'knowingme, i'llprobably mess it up too...'

not trying to sound like dr. phil here but you gotta see somebody that can help you.

a lot of the same threads run through my family, too,on both sides, and way out to the extended branches.

i can thinkof several who have been helped by getting their brain chemistry right...see a doc and try out some meds.

others will decry this but it worked miracles for some in my family.


consider also a change of scenery if you can. maybe transfer, if your current school hands you too much baggage of the sort mentioned above.

sorry for all typos, bt i'm really beat but i wanted to be sure to respond.

keep looking for ansers, please!

[TheZoo]

2. Start small...

That's what I did, although it took me a while after I lost Marie O8). Just start looking for little things - the test that got postponed, the laundry that got dried after one run through. Doesn't matter how little it is, just remember that the little things do snowball into medium things, then larger things...etc.

You have two choices - dwell on the past, or look forward to the next semester. Don't shut the feelings down, they are you. Just don't dwell on them too much, or else you will be in trouble.

And, not knowing you, I don't think you'll mess up. So there.

[nadinbrzezinski]

3. Ok here are some ideas you may want to try

and yes I do have ADD, and still mamanged to get a Masters

First off, if you cannot handle a full load, DON'T... I know you would like to, but if you cannot just don't

It may take you longer to finish, but you can

Also depending on the college you may be able to retake those courses and make sure that you do let the college know. They may appoint note takers for you.

I also found that RECORDING classes and then replaying them on tape helped.

There are other tricks, like using multicolored pents to emphasize important places in your notes...

And if you truly need inspiration, some historians believe that Einstein had ADD... in case you did not know this...he came up with relativity theory, but was unable to balance his checkbook EVER, and his daugher did it for him.

For the record I cannot balance my checkbook either, but we do fine and never over draw... I just keep the balance in my head, serious.

[Punkingal]

4. Listen, hang in there....

and don't give up! You must be aware that some of the most intelligent people EVER were bi-polar, including Abraham Lincoln, and Winston Churchill. Both had many ups and downs in their lives, but both were great leaders in times when leadership was critical. Both had a great impact on the world, and who's to say the same won't be true of you someday.

I have someone very close to me who is bi-polar, so I understand the difficulty with the meds, and finding the right balance. Maybe you can change doctors, or if you feel you have a good doctor, continue to work with the meds, until you have the right balance. It can be done.

Please don't be so down on yourself. Lots of people mess up, with fewer challenges than you have. You'll be okay. I know you will!:hug:

[sandnsea]

5. My daughter got a D

In Chemistry. The class she needs so she can take Anat & Phys 1 so she can take Anat & Phys 2 so she can apply to nursing school and get on a 2-3 year waiting list. We found all this out in the last 2 weeks.

Sometimes it helps to know everybody screws up, with or without limitations. Sometimes it doesn't help. If it helps, good. If it doesn't, ignore me!

[rumguy]

6. hang in there

life can turn around on a dime...

[Kerridwyn]

7. Talk to your school

Mental health problems, ADHD, manic depression etc, are legally considered forms of disability. If you talk to your school, they should work with you and cut you some slack, if you can provide them with documentation from your psychiatrist.

I know a few people on other boards who are going through exactly the same thing. I dropped out of school due to severe depression, and still haven't gone back.

[Lexingtonian]

8. um, get a job

I'm kinda kidding, but not really. Find something you find quite likeable to do (but not too much so) for someone with your qualifications, preferably close to or at your college, and with a living wage level of earnings if you can.

Then you definitely want to work and study alternate semesters. They will let you do this, and they'll be in a hurry to do so if you give them documentation of your medical history and you can convince them of your earnest willingness and ability to be a mature person about all the details and effort it's going to be.

That'll give you time to recuperate, to learn other (perhaps more important and more necessary) things, and find something that is engaging to you in the right ways. Don't worry about time- the people in charge of most things that are important (advanced degrees, real jobs, marriage/family) don't take people under age 25 very seriously unless they are about to run amok on them.

Hang in there. Life gets better.

[The Mighty Boot]

9. Don't give up. Then I'd feel sorry for you.

I dropped out and regret it. I know you didn't
say you were going to, I'm just butting in.
Lighten your workload if you need to-don't take
on more than you feel you can succeed at. Think
long run. I have an 8-year old with a pretty
wicked case of ADHD so I see it up close.

Deep breaths-change comes from within.

[rudeboy666]

10. don't give up

As some have said in this thread, there are a a lot of options available for you.

If you have unique needs, then let them know!

[fujiyama]

11. things WILL improve...

I myself have had an absolutely horrible college career...

i've flunked out of college...and almost failed out of another...then i finally felt the motivation to do well..i finally ended up with a sem (this past one) where I got nothing lower than a B...

It CAN be done...I understand that you have other factrs which make the situation worse...and it definetely sounds some of these are medical, for which you should take none of our advice (but only that of a doctor)...but you should keep in mind that you can succede...

Also, even though you've stayed at one place for such a long time (considering your a jr), don't rule out taking a sem (or more) off, or transferring. don't think about what family or friends says or thinks of you...do things at ur own pace...it's no race... A change of scenery coud help...or maybe even changing your major...it also may be the case you haven't done so well in ur gen eds...but if that's the case u need only attain what is required for pasing them, and move on to what interests you.

college can be stressful...and i would imagine much more so with medical reasons...

it may sound corny as all hell, but really do what ur heart tells ya (as far as college itself goes)...and listen to no one but urself for what sort of future awaits u...medically, i would definetely speak to different doctors and find one u are comfortable with..second opinions on diagnosis never hurts...

i wish u the best of luck...hang in there and never give up hope!

[haele]

12. Grades don't really matter

Every resume I've filled just had my degree.

I've seen a lot of jobs that require a bachelor's or associate's degree, but have yet to see one that required a 3.2 GPA or anything like that.

Oh, and get yourself in to see a good therapist. Laz has the ADD/bipolar combo, and we've found therapy really helps. Don't give up on the meds, either.

[HereSince1628]

25. So, why do the school thing if you aren't healthy?

It seems like someone should have advised you that maybe now isn't the best time to be in school.

If you had been in a car accident and were told you needed a year of physical therapy you wouldn't instead enroll in a dance class.

My advice, tack a mental health holiday from college, get your issues under control, and then have back at it later.

[NJCher]

13. talk to your college

I'm with the poster who suggested finding out about "special needs." Almost all colleges and universities have some type of program for this but how respectfully they treat it varies. I work at a university where it's taken very seriously and there is a lot of support staff.

If we teachers are told about a student's situation before a class, it goes a long way in helping that student.

I also like Nadin's suggestion. You can gain a lot through work, too.
Life's not a race. Take your time and do the best that you can for yourself.


Cher

[southerngirlwriter]

14. Two suggestions (both based on personal experience):

1. It makes the money you spent for the semester a complete wash, but you can almost always get a "retroactive withdrawal" if you have a good enough reason. I did that once. Wrote a letter to the dean, was called in for an interview, and they granted it. Some schools call this "academic bankruptcy."

2. Transfer. I know of NO school that counts your grades from a previous college in your GPA. They count credits, but the numbers aren't calculated. That means if you have 80 credits with a 2.0 GPA, and you go somewhere else and earn 45 credits with all A's at the new school, you will graduate with a 4.0.

Good luck.

[Booberdawg]

15. That was good to get that rant out of your system. Now ....

One. Day. At. A. Time.

Go

[ClintonTyree]

16. What's done is done.............

and cannot be undone. The future, now that's a different story. Each day is a clean slate, mark upon that slate what you will. Have no regrets, it's self defeating. Treat every new day with hope and tell yourself, "this is the day, this is the day that's going to turn the whole thing around". Then ACT on those thoughts and TRY to make each day that day. If it doesn't work out, there's always the NEXT day. A day at a time, it works for me.

[Mikimouse]

17. You have not 'ruined your college career'...

Many others (myself included) have been where you are, and succeeded in the long run. Look at the larger picture, rather than focusing on the present not-so-great semester. If you have 80 credits, you are close to finishing, and have come too far to let it get to you now. I admire your perseverance in having come to this point, and would only tell you what I tell my own students: If you do what you are supposed to, go to class, take notes, read, and try to understand the material rather than simply memorizing it, you cannot fail. I just finished submitting my final grades for five classes and out of the roughly 200 students, there were only a handful of As, and many Ds and Fs. The Ds and Fs were not students who attended class regularly and in fact, many of them stopped coming to class right after the beginning of the semester (probably forgot to drop, even tough I plead with my classes to make sure that if they don't want to be iin the class, that they make sure that they drop officially). Those students who do attend and do the work always have a much better chance of passing, especially if their exam scores are borderline. Good luck and just keep doing what it sounds like you have been doing up to now, after all, you have earned the credits so you are doing what you need to be doing.

[trof]

18. I flunked out...TWICE!

Buck up.
I'm 62, retired from a pretty good career as an airline pilot, happily (mostly) married for 34 years, have a lovely daughter, super son-in-law, and probably the smartest and most handsome grandson ever born. ;-)

Believe me, a former inveterate slacker, there's still plenty of time to turn your life around.

[Nlighten1]

19. Get help dude.

One of the symptoms of manic depression is the inability to concentrate on something, it isn't ADHD. MD is a problem with your thyroid gland if I remember correctly.

[Ellen Forradalom]

20. I took the long, scenic, tortured route through college

because of my manic depression. I also dropped in and out, changing majors several times. I finally knuckled down and went back to school to study computer science at 29, graduating at 33. I still had my illness, so it was tough, but it was the best thing I ever did. Most importantly, I found out it is truly never too late.

Please consult a doctor. And if worse comes to worst you can drop out for a little while and return; the delay will suck but it is not an insurmountable barrier.

[Ilsa]

21. With your disability,

you may be eligible for alternative means of testing in some subjects, more time on tests, etc., but I don't know this for sure.

My oldest is a child, a year behind already due to autism and its related behaviors and brain dysfunction. He takes a different dose of Strattera twice a day to help him focus on just the little things. Strattera is expensive, but it can make a big difference to persons unable to take the stimulant meds.

I'm sorry you are going through this. But you've made it this far. This may be a setback, but you can do it!

Good luck. I hope this helps. We're on your side. Talk to us here anytime you need support. :hug:

[Sentath]

22. Dude, I'm not gonna feel _that_ sorry for you

I lost an entire semester full load back when I was @ Wichita State.

Went in and talked to them about depression and how I was in counseling for it....

Don't remember quite what they said, but it amounted to a derisive "So?" And so i folded my notebook in half, burst into tears and walked out at a slow march.

Tried another local college and it didn't end that badly, but I still didn't graduate.

BUT! By that point I had enough credits to do a Degree Completion program. One class at a time, Saturdays only. It was heaven.

I don't have as much respect for my degree as if I had gotten it through normal means, but I have the paper and it goes on my resume' just fine ( :

Just something you might want to think about doing.

goodluck

{rlg}

[Nikia]

23. Some things you could do

You might want to take a reduced course load. There were a few of my classmates who did this because of these or related disabilities. I think that they were able to continue to get financial aid and parent's insurance too although you might want to make sure of this if this is an issue. Make sure the college knows about your disabilites. Perhaps, they provide services for people in your situation. If there are counselors on campus, you might want to have a working relationship with one of them on campus in addition to any off campus help you are getting. At my college, campus counselors could get professors to grant extensions, allow students to take exams on a different date, and excuse absences if the student was in the midst of a psychological crisis.
Don't worry about your GPA. I know a couple of my classmates that barely graduated based on their GPA. They still graduated. With a couple of exceptions, GPA is not usually important for jobs. A general rule is that you should not list your GPA on your resume if it is below a 3.0. Some people don't list their GPA anyway though so potential employers won't assume you have a low GPA. If you want to go to graduate school, get a job in your field and wait 5 years, do well on the GRE, and apply to a less competitive college.

[Stupdworld]

24. oops your bad

time to start checking into some easy electives. try theater 1000, rocks for jocks, some PE class, and maybe an elective on comic strips

[Nikia]

26. That's a possibility too

I had to tell my friend that was bordering on academic probation that she might not want to take organic chemistry as an elective as she had planned (She was a psychology major.). Also avoid profs that enjoy flunking a certain percentage of the class (not just the ones that don't show up or don't do the work). Classes for non majors are usually easier for electives or gen eds. Intro classes required for another major may be even tougher than more advanced classes because the profs may want to weed about potential majors in the more popular, better programs. If you are into class participation, you might want to try to take smaller, discussion classes. If such things cause you anxiety and may cause you to miss class or get a low grade due to low participation, try to avoid those classes. Try to find out about the format of the class ahead of time and take non required classes that use your strengths and don't require your weaknesses as much.

[izzie]

27. Hay do not give up

I went back with 5 kids, a husband that took every cent from me so I had to work my way through, and on top of that I had to take Logoc 101.Guess which one was the real job?

[Lydia Leftcoast]

28. Find study partners for the classes you have trouble with

and go talk to the professor EARLY, the minute you realize you're in trouble. If the professor is a decent human being, s/he will be willing to coach you or provide suggestions for learning.

I was a foreign language professor, and students reacted in one of two ways to difficulties: hiding in the back of the room and skipping a lot of classes (bad idea) or coming to see me (good idea).

When they came to see me, I was often able to ask them a few questions and figure out what they were doing wrong. Sometimes a change of study habits was all they needed.

If you have a friend in the class who is doing well, study with that person. I've seen students improve remarkably after getting together with someone who understands what's going on and can explain it in easily understood terms.

I had a horrible time with math in high school and survived only because I worked out an arrangement with a good math student by which we would each do the problems separately and then compare answers. (Note: this is worlds apart from copying off each other.) If an answer differed, we both reworked the problem, talking through our steps. Inevitably, we would find the point where I had messed up.

Years later, when I was considering various new careers, I took math as an adult and realized that my previous problems had been due to trying to study math as if it were a English or history. I got A's in three straight classes before I hit the brick wall of calculus--didn't find a study partner there, and I quit the sequence after endless agonies produced only a C-.

By the way, I agree with the advice about taking fewer classes if four are too many. There is no shame in stretching out your college career, if that's what it takes.

[NJCher]

29. This is a great thread for a teacher to save

I intend to print it out for students and give it to them at the beginning of the semester. Many teachers and students commented, thus portraying a situation with many, many options.

The one situation that doesn't "sit right" is that described by Sentath: this is deplorable treatment of a student. Education is so critical to success in life that we owe it to every student to examine whether the system is working. Education should not be so rigid as to exclude students who have some type of disability.

I'm pleased to work for a school that takes this matter seriously and affords this type of student the resources that are needed to succeed. I'm sorry that you, Sentath, were subjected to such treatment.


Cher

[Fleshdancer]

30. Here's my advice

lighten your course load, talk to the college about your disorders, and forget about this semester. Focus on what you have to do for the next one. In all reality, it's getting the degree that matters. Your GPA isn't any worse than Dubya's and look, he became President!

The majority of employers out there just want for you to have the degree and aren't interested in what grade you got in Geology. My concern is you graduating at a time when there's no jobs out there so again, lighten your load, take your time, focus on the future, and by the time you graduate, hopefully this country will have jobs again.

Above all else, don't beat yourself up. We all have rough patches and it's how you deal with them that will determine your character. Allow yourself to be human and imperfect.

[midnight armadillo]

31. Bad grades are not the end

A friend of mine got out of undergrad with his GPA like 0.1 above flunking out. He mostly majored in beer drinking. He then joined the Navy, became an officer, and wound up as a radar intercept officer (the backseat guy) in an F-14 Tomcat fighter plane flying off an aircraft carrier. After the service he went back to school got 2 master's degrees (long story as to why there's two) and a PhD in physics with a wife and three adorable daughters.

You can overcome your mental health issues, but you need to go at your pace, not the school's, and don't fret too much over grades. They're only a small part of your life!

[scottcsmith]

32. Don't give up!

I also am mentally ill. I know it sucks. The key is finding the right doctor and the right medication (plus counseling). If your doctor is a regular MD, try to find a psychiatrist.

OCD can be treated. Behavior modification works very well.

One day at a time. It takes time. Believe me, I've been there (and still am there), and while recovery might be slow, it can happen.

Don't give up! you can do it! I tried to kill myself in 2001. It was slow going, but I eventually found a great psychiatrist to monitor my meds and a wonderful therapist. We tried all sorts of different combinations of drugs before settling on what I take now. Therapy has worked, and I'm told I'm a very different person than I was in 2001.

If you are able to do so, perhaps you should postpone college for now, and concentrate on getting the mental illness under control. I had to quit my job because the stress was causing me to have psychotic episodes, which are not pleasant. But I feel better, I have a better outlook on life, and I'm getting better. One day at a time. You can do it!

[ChoralScholar]

33. My last 3 semesters at UCA

before I quit school consist of 30 hours of F, 2 hours of C, and an hour of B. After laying out 2 years I have come back, and am graduating cum laude (3.5+). Don't lose heart, it CAN be done.

[Blade]

34. Wow...I can't believe how much you guys care...

I was expecting a "quit your damn whining, get off your lazy ass, and get your f*&^ing ass to work" thread. I am very glad that there is a lot of people who care. Makes me teary-eyed. :grouphug:

The problem isn't entirely my mental illnesses, but also from my home. I get ridiculed all the time, called "stupid" many times a day, my mom and dad keep telling me to be prepared to work at a "McJob," they keep telling me I'm a loser and that I'm not going to amount to anything, and so forth. It's terrible how my parents treat me, considering they have the same problems I have.

Like a couple of the teachers who posted here on some of their students, I am a student who gets frustrated with classes and stop attending them. The classes that kick me in the ass are the Gen. Eds, non-science stuff that we're forced to take here on my campus. My campus requires all students to take 60 credits outside their major. :grr: I wish they would understand that some of us can't do the $hit they force us to do. And for those of you who are teachers, please don't expect way too much from students in a 1000-level class. You have to understand that probably 1/4 to 1/2 of the students in the class are non-majors.

I'd love to take the advice of postponing college to get my disorders under control, but, I cannot due to my family and the amount of harassment I put up with from them.

I am, however, gonna lighten up my coursework, take easier classes, and discuss with the campus on what I can do to help my situation.

I'm glad I got to talk about my problems, and I'm going to do my hardest to not let them hold me back, no matter how hard it will be. I'm glad you all helped me out and thank you a lot. I greatly appreciate it. :grouphug: :toast: :hi:

[scottcsmith]

35. Sounds like your family needs to be educated

The organization NAMI (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill) is a great resource. It sounds like your family doesn't understand mental illness. NAMI can help educate them. Being harassed by your family is unacceptable. It's not like you have a cold that will go away in a few days. There are many, many people in the world that do not understand mental illness. They think it's a sort of character flaw, something you should just "buck up" and ignore. That's not the way it works. Here's the link to NAMI:

http://tinyurl.com/yto55

They have support groups and will be able to direct you to resources to help you with your mental illness.

They also offer classes to help family members understand what mental illness is.

Good luck to you -- this is definitely a problem that can be dealt with. You may never get "cured" but you can get to a point where you are in control of the mental illness and not the other way around.

[Zero]

36. Good luck

I recently graduated from college and one of my best friends had a situation similar to yours. He is one of the smartest people I know, but because of some various disabilities (not the least of which being cerebral palsy) he struggled in his studies. So, he went to see an Educational Psychologist and he was diagnosed as also having ADHD. The Psychologist recommended that he not take more than 9 credit hours at a time. His GPA went from 1.8 to 4.0 (and his cumulative GPA is coming up nicely)!

[Bertha Venation]

37. Blade: You have the will not to repeat your family's patterns.

That was enough for me and my sisters. You will succeed. Take your meds, see your therapist (trusting you have one; if you don't may I suggest finding one? Perhaps through the school? Most accept "sliding scale" fees), and don't give up.

There'll be times when you have to just put your head down and slog. You WILL get through.

If you ever need encouragement, pm me or any of your buddies here. You're not alone and people care.
:hug:

[Code_Name_D]

38. Work Smarter, not harder.

When dealing with disabilityes, we like to buy into the myth that "hay, you can do any thing a normal person can do." The lie that says a man in awheal chair can some how run a marathong and win. The man without any hands can be compeitive in basket ball.

Having disabilityes dosn't mean you are limited in what you can do, only that it changed how you go about doing it. As long as you respect the latter, than you are well on your way. But it dose man looking for difrent and unconventionl opproches to dealing with your problems. Lean about your disabilityes. Just becase you have them, dosn't mean you understand them. And beelive it or not, your disadvantages may hold advantages that you may not reulize. Only your preseptions of a "nomral" line of thinking keeps you from making use of these posible gifts.

[luckyluke]

39. Stop worrying, just *do*

The Gita says to focus on your work, not worry about the results of your work.

So quit thinking, just *do*.

Also, sometimes you have to force yourself to relax in the midst of great stress. The more relaxed you are, the better you will perform.

Also, talk to people often, don't clam up. Some might be unsympathetic, but some will support you.

:hug:

-ll