My dad is such a -- what's the word -- coward. Yeah, that's it.

[bertha katzenengel]

I sent him a brief note to tell him the Washington Post had published my LTTE. I told him where to find it online, but warned him that he probably wouldn't like it because as he knows I am pro-choice. He is an anti-choice, anti-gay Democrat. Yes, that's exactly right.

He replied:

"Hi, Kim:

Love, Dad."

What a coward! If he read my letter, he could've rebuffed me. If he didn't read it, he could've told me why. Instead he avoided engaging in any kind of controversy or debate. It's the story of his life: avoid unpleasantness at all costs.

:eyes:

[qnr]

1. I understand your point, but it's as valid a lifestyle choice as any other

when you get right down to it. I read your LTTE last night, BTW, good work.

[auntAgonist]

2. geez .. my dad

will argue black is white just so he can argue and put everyone else down for having an opinion. I don't know what's worse, your Dad's attitude or my Dad's.


:hug:

you should be very proud of your LTTE! I loved it. Short sweet and to the point.


aA

[idgiehkt]

3. so sorry

it hurts, I know. To bad he can't appreciate you in this life; but it wouldn't surprise me if he didn't secretly brag to friends his daughter got a letter published in the Post, even if he doesn't address the subject matter. I bet he's proud of you nonetheless.

[AngryAmish]

4. I am like your Dad

I do not like drama. If someone and I disagree I figure I cannot change their mind so why have the conflict. Conflict gives me a tummyache.

Some people like conflict because (I assume) they like the adrenalin rush or they think being "real" requires telling the truth 100% of the time and feelings be damned. (That is kinda harsh but that is what it seems to be from my point of view).

I fairly young in life realized that my folks were human beings with foibles just like me. My folks were many things (racists, etc.) but they loved me and would have (and did) make enormous sacrifices for us. I miss them so.

[Nickster]

5. Geez, he could have at least acted like he didn't even get your email.

Sounds a bit passive-agressive to me. "I got your email, but you can't force me to comment on it"

[madinmaryland]

6. Sorry about your father. BTW, that was a great LTTE in the Post.

I read it, though obviously I didn't know who it was at the time, it really was spot on about that woman! Thanks for saying that!!

:hi:

[speedoo]

7. I'm a dad.

I cannot imagine what I would do if one of my kids ever called me a coward.

I don't know anything about you, or your dad. And I don't mean to offend you, but I just pray he never sees your post.

[bertha katzenengel]

11. hi, speedoo

I'm sorry for having offended you. My dad knows he is a failure as a father.* He knows he is a coward. He knows how I (and my sisters) feel about him. I try to keep in contact with him, though, and I am kind to him. I do have a problem forgiving him for his major failures - as this post shows. I have forgiven him several times, but I need to do it over again and probably will for the rest of my life.

* Although I don't know what kind of father he was to his stepchildren. He may have been better to them.

[speedoo]

13. hi, bertha

You did not offend me, and I sincerely hope my post did not offend or upset you.

I probably should have overcome my strong urge to react, but I offer as an excuse the fact that I love my kids more than anything, and if I did not have their love and respect, I would feel worthless, at best. I believe most fathers feel the same way.

I am sorry that your relationship with your dad is not what you would like it to be, and I hope that will change for you.

[sbj405]

8. Bertha, can you post the link?

That's awesome that they published your LTTE.

[bertha katzenengel]

12. here you go, sbj405

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=229&topic_id=4823&mesg_id=4823

Thanks :)

[Floogeldy]

9. "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."

Perhaps your father has adopted this policy.

:)

[LaurenG]

10. Oh wow Bertha

I'm sorry. :hug:

[reyd reid reed]

14. A lot of people are like that, unfortunately.

Which bugs the living shit out of those who aren't. How can you clear the air or settle something if there's no communication? If someone avoids confrontation? Usually makes things worse, as a matter of fact because it adds frustration to whatever else is already there.

Although sometimes I have to confess I fall into the 'non-confrontational' category. Up to a point, anyway. Once I hit that point, though...

I'm sorry your dad chose that way, though.

:hug: