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Opening credits: I Don’t Know What You’re Talking About, Husker Du, from the New Day Rising album. The opening credits would be a montage of me walking on the UNC campus as a lost freshman with this on my Walkman, since that’s what I was listening to most often at the time. Waking up: I Walk the Line, Johnny Cash. A jarring jump to the present, when I’ve finally found someone that these lyrics apply to.
Average day: Lugubrious Whing Wang, Squirrel Nut Zippers. Damnit, I’m gonna have to go to dictionary.com and figure out what the hell lugubrious means so I’ll know what my average day is like.
First date: Be Real, Sir Douglas Quintet. I swear I’m not cheating. Doug Sahm has an oddly soulful voice and when I meet someone with an odd soul my heart goes pitter patter, especially when they’re real.
Falling in love: Julianne, Ben Folds Five. Now I’m tempted to cheat. I’ve never met a woman that looks like Axl Rose. What’s even more disturbing is that this version is from the Naked Baby Photos album, which is basically their contractual obligation to Caroline Records. It’s a mistake filled live version released for expediency’s sake. Maybe it’s about some of my early attempts at love. Fight scene: Green Earrings, Steely Dan. I don’t remember ever hearing this song. It’s only on my MP3 player because it’s part of a Steely Dan disc that I wanted other songs from. I guess that’s appropriate. Fights aren’t a very important part of my life. Of course there could be some deep significance about this particular band playing here. They named themselves after a fictional dildo and maybe I have issues regarding that topic. Breaking up: Jane Says, Jane’s Addiction. Most of my break-ups have been initiated by the other person. I’m not a junky but maybe I was damaged in some other way and that made people wary of getting too close to me. Getting back together: Narcolepsy, Ben Folds. One percent of the songs on my MP3 player are Ben Folds songs and yet two of them show up during this little exercise. I’m freaking out man, it’s like the gadget knows what I’m thinking, like Hal in 2001. I’m afraid to hit the next button and see what happens next. Secret love: A 25 second spoken word track by Mick Jagger. It’s reproduced below. Make of it what you will. You’ve heard of Oxford Circus, you’ve heard of Piccadilly Circus, and this is the Rolling Stones Rock and Roll Circus and we’ve got sights and sounds and marvels to delight your eyes and ears and you’ll be able to see the very first one of those in a few moments.
Life's okay: The Dainty Song, Flat Duo Jets Kiss me one good time, I love you true. Dexter’s howl and raw exuberance. If I could only sustain that life would be ok.
Mental breakdown: Respect Yourself, the Staple Singers. I’ve heard this song hundreds of times and I know I should practice what it preaches, but I just can’t, which leads to all sorts of mental problems. Driving: Step It Up and Go, Blind Boy Fuller Good advice even though I prefer riding a bike to driving: “Had a little girl she laid me low, used to love me but she don’t no more, you got to step it up and go, and go, well you can’t stand pat I declare you got to step it up and go”
Deep thought: Where the Hell is Bill? Camper Van Beethoven “Maybe he went to get a Vespa scooter.” It don’t get much deeper than that Flashback: Drunkard’s Nose, Royal Crescent Mob. Interior shot. A crowded, smoky, sweaty bar circa 1987. Not sure how the Mob will be cast though since they were one of a kind
Partying: Maybellene, Chuck Berry Hand held shot, a small house with an equal number of dogs and people. Me with a Lucille Ball tie, a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other, some birthday cake in the background. Happy dance: The Old Swinging Bridge, Ted Lundy and the Southern Mountain Boys Southern mountains and good bluegrass bring happiness to me. I’m not much of a dancer though.
Regretting: Bad Reputation, the dB’s. Whatever happened to Maria? The woman that said this song reminded a lot of people of her. Or did I play it for her one night and tell her it reminded me of her. My memories from that time period are a bit sketchy. She was annoyed at the bad reputation part but thought the “I think you’re an angel part” was sweet. I don’t think I’ve seen her since her wedding 15 years ago. Guess I should have made more of an effort to stay in touch Long night alone: Kanga Roo, Jeff Buckley. Used to hum this song a lot in my single days. Looking at a woman but unsure how to approach her. And when I couldn’t think of a way to approach her I’d retreat to my house and sulk while wondering what it would have been like if I had enough nerve to strike up a conversation. Bonus track: At the End of a Long Lonely Day, Loudon Wainwright III and John Hiatt Cuz until recently long lonely days were way too prominent in my life. Death scene: Effigy, Uncle Tupelo Death bothers me so if it’s my movie I won’t include a death scene. However, a symbolic “celebration” might be ok. There’s no one in particular that I want dead but I can think of a lot of isms that I’d like to see go: the usual suspects: racism, sexism, greed, lack of respect for the earth. Burn motherfucker burn.
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