Post the strangest insults you can think of, in the context of a duel with

[Random_Australian]

an imaginary person. (No alluding to DU'ers or sexual content beyond nipples)

Either sword or pistol duel is acceptable.

Nonsensical insults are fine if they have the correct syntax. (Feel free to use and re-use the beginnings I put here, and then use them again)

Remember, what you are after is strange, unearthly & original insults!

I'll start:

Take THAT cheesegrater nipples!

En gaurde, deck-of-cards tenderiser!

The seventh step it is, you collection of singing potatoes!

:)

Have fun!

[mykpart]

1. Defend yourself

you misbegotten son of a pile of camel dung!

[Random_Australian]

2. ... but that isn't weird. .. am I missing something?

[mykpart]

3. Or maybe I misunderstood.

At any rate, I always try to respond to threads that seem to be dying.

[Random_Australian]

4. You have no idea what I will do to this thread if it dies.

'Go nuts' to put it lightly.

[mykpart]

5. I can call my mother if I want to feel guilty!

She has the guilt distribution rights to my psyche!

[Random_Australian]

6. Don't worry! This is not about you.

I was going to write jokes in subject lines, not become sad!

[Guava Jelly]

7. You overbearing load of koala droppings

I spit on your skateboard and stink palm your gummy bears!!!

[Random_Australian]

8. Aha! I challenge you to a duel, you seven-footed regurgitated

internet smile!

:)

[Guava Jelly]

9. Your eel is small and your basement is your attic!!

Also you are out of maple syrup!!

[Random_Australian]

11. Just what I would expect from a luxury-express dishwasher, you

spleen-less looking glass!

[Guava Jelly]

12. Oh yeah your humpless camel is lactose intolerant

And your shoes are painted with monkey poop!!!

[Random_Australian]

13. So what? It was the colour I wanted you cheerful excuse for a

search engine! Why don't you go remove some of the paint from your mailbox or other painted item, you orange-toothed person who is not a necromancer!

[Guava Jelly]

14. If i want your lima beans I'll take them from your stripeless Zebra!

You Pepsi intoxicated sand crab!

[Random_Australian]

15. Try that and get your planet status revoked, you alarm-clock stabbing

article of wikipedia!

[Guava Jelly]

16. Well then I guess somebodys woke up on the wrong side

of the equator!
You thread posting 7 toothed grass eating purple shark???

[Random_Australian]

19. Why don't you go back to America where you belong, you

post-threading person who carves baboon bottoms into mountainsides.

[Guava Jelly]

22. well i hope your kanagroos third nipple falls off!

you bumble bee hugging banana junkie

[Random_Australian]

23. Do you know that someone on another board actually used that

last insult on me in another website? When my screenname was Rfitqc_Aussie they actually told me to go back to Australia.

No points describes with great economy just how sharp they, how much they would get if life was a game show, AND their IQ score.

[Guava Jelly]

10. oops

:)

[Oeditpus Rex]

17. Behend thy Östendsabre, shank-toed varlet!

Thy nipplespleens art no match for the likes of the Pollyanna du Nørd, vile creature of damp newspaper eggs! Drop thy fructose leggings and advance as one of a spigot durst, or be shaved in a fortnight!

[Random_Australian]

18. No.

[Random_Australian]

20. Bring it, O watch keeper of the daisies!

May your basil turn into emus and kick your dunny door down!

[Oeditpus Rex]

21. Femur! Thy glottis offends thee!

Dropshadows of toast shall be thy swattish fate, phone-pole kliegstünd lapper!

[Random_Australian]

24. That made less sense than a hamster in a tumble dryer.

[datasuspect]

25. thou hast besquirted me with thy royal turkey baster!

i shall not suffer such ignominy!!!

prepare to die!