Joke thread

[mykpart]

A woman calls the police and says, "Come out right away. There's a Democrat masturbating in my front yard."

"We'll be right there," says the police dispatcher, "but how do you know it's a Democrat?"

"Because," says the woman, "if he was a Republican he'd be screwing someone else!"

[Random_Australian]

1. Donald Rumsfeld is giving the President his daily briefing.

Need I say more?

:)

Edited for a smilie.

[Random_Australian]

2. A blonde

was giving the president his daily breifing. She concludes by saying "If I shoot a mime, will I need a silencer?" and the president says "As the CEO of the third largest almagamated processor of plastic cups and orange fabric, I say hooray!"

Then the world got blown up.

The end.

Is it about a squirrel?

[Random_Australian]

3. WHITE HOUSE ANNOUNCES IRAQ INSURGENTS BUILDING DEATH STAR

[mykpart]

5. Help me, Obi-wan, you're my only hope!

[mykpart]

4. A man appears before St. Peter at the pearly gates.

"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asks.

"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offers. "Once, on a trip to the Black Hills, out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of testosterone- saturated bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker. I smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, threw it on the ground, and told him, 'Leave her alone now or you'll answer to ME.'"

St. Peter was impressed. "When did this happen?"

"Just a couple of minutes ago."