Jack Sparrow Dead At Age 43..... DEVELOPING NEWS

[Leopolds Ghost]

PORT ROYAL, 1723 -- Jack Sparrow, known as "Captain" to legions of fans who followed his career and media empire, which consisted of numerous pirating escapades, two movies and an amusement park ride, in which Mr. Sparrow would often perform outrageous stunts involving animals and other creatures, is dead of a freak underwater accident while seafaring off the Spanish Main, according to colonial officials. (BBC)

Apparently he was injured by a Kraken, a species of giant squid
which is normally placid and harmless to humans.

What is especially freakish about this accident is that Mr. Sparrow has survived similarly outlandish encounters with far more dangerous creatures in the past.

This story is still developing.

While I hope those on DU will be more respectful of this man's passing than they were towards many non-fictional characters, I hold little hope. Truly this forum is far more coarse than it used to be...

I know that the disruptors will be out in force, because of the general animosity in many circles on the so-called "left", towards piracy and pirating in general.

:evilfrown:

Rest in Peace, Jack.

[JVS]

1. FUCK HIM!

[Leopolds Ghost]

6. He Was A Gentleman Of Fortune, He Was!

And curse all the lot of you that say different.

This undercurrent of animosity, t'is bad, BAD for every mother's son what calls himself a Democrat.

[datasuspect]

2. I LOVED HIM SOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!1

he did so much for us. i KNOW him. i watched him on teevee and i KNOW him. i don't FEEL like i KNOW him. i truly do KNOW him.

i am taking a month of bereavement for this.

[Leopolds Ghost]

8. He was more acquaintance than friend, surely.

There'll be no KNOWing here... ("I thought *I* 'knew' you!")

Now... what can I know ye. I demand pay-ment, so you know.

[Darth_Kitten]

11. Not like I did.....I knew him.......and I own the rights to our love story

Back off. ;)

[Rabrrrrrr]

3. Like a true liberal, a proper liberal, a genuine heartfelt liberal,

I am now on the floor in a fetal position crying my eyes out because I so enjoyed his movies and his ride at Disney, and so therefore he was like a best friend! And I mourn for all who loved him!!!!

And like a proper, true, genuine DU liberal, I have nothing bad to say about him, because to speak ill of the dead is rude, insensitive, and awful - JAck Sparrow is now right up there in my eyes with St. Hitler and St. Ron Reagan and St. Pol Pot! Because I'm a proper, DU-style liberal.

[datasuspect]

4. i don't think you're sad enough

i am more maudlin than you!


how dare you EVEN try to more righteous than I?!?!?!?!

[Leopolds Ghost]

5. Do I detect a note of hostility here??

Listen, you can hate me all you want for telling you this, but Jack Sparrow was a bloody pirate, and a scalawag. Piratings in your blood, mate, and you'll have to square with that some day. Now. Can you accept that Cap'n Jack was a pirate, AND a good man, or can ye not?

I could come upon the haters with the yardarm, but then, I can't sail this blog all the way to Election day by me onesies.

It takes at least 6 people to crew the DU. Assuming we tombstone the rest...

[Leopolds Ghost]

7. Jack Sparrow's death captured on video, producer says

According to Jerry Bruckheimer, Jack's longtime producer, the last moments of Jack's life were captured on video. They were shooting the last scenes of _Pirates of the Carribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest_ off the coast of the Bahamas when the Kraken unexpectedly struck. At the time, he was shooting an intense love scene while handcuffed to a mast-arm.

Rumor has it that Jack was impaled in the chest by one of the Kraken's teeth, a wound which would normally result in instant death. However, he was able to pull his hand out of the cuff and draw his sword prior to death, according to early accounts by officials at the scene.

[Darth_Kitten]

9. We had a special kind of love.........

which will be detailed in my upcoming book....

[datasuspect]

10. the love that dare not speak its name?

[Darth_Kitten]

12. it was very unique.

His story must be told.

[Leopolds Ghost]

13. BREAKING: Officials say the Kraken was -not- provoked in any way!!

Despite what some have said on here.

The Kraken may have been attracted to a boil on his palm or what was described as a "cold-sore" on his cheek, neither of which were the result of inappropriate or deviant behavior.

The Kraken could just have easily killed the cameraman, a midget. But didn't. A freak accident. I will not tolerate anyone saying any different.

[Leopolds Ghost]

14. He was a pirate. But he was also a daredevil.

I am saddened to hear of his loss.

But I can't say I'm surprised.

[Generic Brad]

15. It was a freak accident

He was a freak. It was an accident. That is all you need to know about Captain Jack Sparrow.

[hyphenate]

16. Oh well

He really used too much eyeliner, if you ask me.

[Leopolds Ghost]

19. He dangled Orlando Bloom over shark-infested waters

I can never forgive him for that.

No professional privateer would risk his crewmates' lives in such a fashion.

[qnr]

17. Again, I'm not saying anything against the man, but people are perfectly

entitled to discuss negative aspects of his life. If he didn't want them discussed, he should not have done them publicly. They're part and parcel of "Captain Jack Sparrow."

[Leopolds Ghost]

18. You don't think the Captain's been acting a bit odd lately?

odd...ER.

Perhaps that could explain why he was attacked.

I'm not saying he deserved it or anything. After all, he has a wife and kids in every port.

I don't want to piss on his grave, but with piracy itself under threat, is this really important?

[Leopolds Ghost]

20. This is Not the DU I Remember.

The DU I remember would not obsess over fictional characters' deaths.

The DU I remember would not insult the undead while their family is still grieving.

The DU I remember was focused on issues, not piracy.

If I see one more joke thread on DU, I'm leaving. And I'm taking the monkey with me.

[malmapus]

21. You will always remember this day, as the day you almost...

*gulp*

[Leopolds Ghost]

22. People always said he was vulnerable at sea.

He was a master at avoiding injury from undead creatures on land.

But the sea throws in that extra element of uncertainty.

Especially in shallow water with a threatened animal.

His producer always said, if Captain Jack was going to die, it would be in the water.

[malmapus]

23. The video has already gotten out thanks to the internets!!

I couldn't help but watch his last moments, at least he got his hat back. I remember that being a big trademark thing for him. As he had tried other hats since previously loosing it and they just never felt right to him.

[Leopolds Ghost]

24. What sort of GHOUL would want to watch him die on camera?

That's just sick. I hope they destroy every copy of the film.

As for hats, you'll notice he always wore the same outfit in
every episode. Just like the Crocodile Hunter. And Crocodile Dundee.
And Indiana Jones. What is it with eccentric adventurers and their
outfits?