Fundies say the darnedest things: September edition!

[YellowRubberDuckie]

I think, if it's possible, they are dumber than usual.
http://www.fstdt.com/
Duckie

[Initech]

1. These people are nuts:

http://www.insptoday.com/site/PageServer?pagename=prt_cityoflight

[WritingIsMyReligion]

2. Funniest/scariest website on the net.

I post there all the time, but lately the spam filter has been wigging out on me. Whoops. :D

[KamaAina]

3. Seems the Steve Irwin bashing cuts across the entire political spectrum

Vulture of the Month

"Sadly, Steve Irwin wasn't a creationist. He mentioned evolution and the concept of millions of years many times in his television programs. For example, he once told Larry King on CNN's Larry King Live cable program that crocodiles had been around for 200 million years, and if you weren't careful they would kill you"
<...>
What does the death of Steve Irwin mean for us? It's a reminder that we all need to repent of our sin so that we can be saved for eternity—because we all face death. As a witnessing opportunity at this time, point more of your friends/relatives to AiG's website for answers to this important question—one that affects everyone’s eternity.

"

:wtf:

[blonndee]

11. WELL, then, the crocodile hunter is going to hell!

Jeezus Kee-rist. Too bad he didn't "repent."

Seriously, this man showed more love for "God's" creatures than most fundies ever would. After all, they think this world was made for them to exploit and dominate. For some reason that's how they interpret the "dominion" in Genesis.

[skygazer]

17. Why are these people so terrified of death?

I mean, I don't want to die today, thank you very much, but I accept the fact that I'm going to someday - we all are.

Why do they need the fear of eternal hellfire to force them to behave? I don't need that - I try to be a good person, kind to my fellow living things and the planet upon which I live because it makes sense, for me personally and for human beings as a species.

And why do they give a shit about what I believe, or Steve Irwin, or anyone else?

I feel sorry for god, if these are his "chosen." :eyes:

[Maestro]

4. Oh it hurts to read that.

To think people are so sick and deluded.

[Redstone]

5. Those people are not LIKE us, are they?

Redstone

[qnr]

6. The thing that got me about that preacher in Gabon. Wasn't it obvious

to both the preacher and the congregation that he wasn't walking on water after the second or third step?

[NMMNG]

7. Yes, they are dumber than usual

"

good job bringing the whole thing up man. it's the most important issue in the world, no matter what anybody thinks. it's not a matter of what you believe, it's a matter of absolute truth. and the absolute truth is that Jesus Christ is the only way to go. unless you want to burn forever in hell. but that's your decision, and if you really want eternal torture, than i don't think you guys should even be in college. college is for education, not screwing up your entire life on earth and after. more props to the starter of this."

Grant Kadansky, WHAT REALLY MATTERS IN LIFE! (it's about God y'all) <2006-Sep-07>



Huh??? :crazy:






"I have personality never understood the importance of teaching science in school since most of it is man made lies to try and disprove Christianity. Always remember that the Holly Bible is the only book ever written that you don’t have to question."

Blessall, BibleForums.org <2006-Sep-06>



Personality (sic), people like you scare the bejeezus out of me.






"How could man have been given dominion over all the animals if he himself is an animal? It is impossible. Therefore man cannot be and is not an animal."

AIC, aliveinchrist.us <2006-Sep-06>




Another product of Fundie home-schooling. :dunce:







"so you think if no one believed in any religion there would be no wars or fighting? i think it would be worse. i know if i didn't fear god's judgement i would have killed many many times."

cajunXLVII, GameFAQs <2006-Sep-06>



So because you're an evil f*ck the entire world should be saddled with your twisted religion? :eyes:









Atheists have the freedom to not believe, but they do not have a right to do so. Only truth has rights. Big difference."

TyroneTHardball451, Baptist Watch <2006-Sep-05>



Go eff yourself. You have the right to do that.







Satan loves homosexuals.. And will usually set them up with good careers in something Satan is in control of i.e.. Entertainment.. any form of the Media.. Satan wants them to grow.. The more homosexuals there are the more souls Satan gets to join in a Furnace of Fire.."

unknown, youaregoingtohell.com <2006-Sep-05>



I work in Human Services helping disabled people. Is Satan in control of that?








"Bizzare preacher lady wants to give you a Holy Spirit emema."

Suzanne Harthern, Youtube <2006-Sep-04>


Stay the h*ll away from my butt.









"On the surface I would love homosexuality to be OUTLAWED. Personally I GREATLY dislike homosexuality, I dislike even more the way its become accepted now. I even further dislike the way the gay crowd constantly push themselves on society, they aren't exactly the quietest bunch, in particular the way they challenge marriage, etc. I have often thought in my own little head - "where are the terrorists when you need them":. I know thats not a very deeply thought through statement but its the gut feeling I have towards homosexuality. I wouldn't weep much over a terrorist attack on a Mardi Gras or on some other major homosexual convention or something."

brett, Fulfilled Prophecy Forums <2006-Sep-04>




The gay crowd constantly pushes themselves on society----kind of like Fundie Christians?
They aren't the quietest bunch? They're a heck of a lot quieter than the Fundies. :eyes:
You want a terrorist attack on Mardi Gras? Are you aware that MG is a predominantly straight event?
What a misinformed, hateful SOB. :puke:












"Common sense dictates that the Bible was tampered with, changed, rephrased, added to, taken from, etc.

The holy spirit tells me that it is all true."

alorian, Panheads <2006-Sep-04>





My cat tells me you're a farking idiot.









"Jesus said that faith can move a mountain and it surely can. If God gives us the faith that we won't get sick if we drink a pint of hemlock, then we won't get sick, period."

Carico, CARM <2006-Sep-01>



Yeah, you try that and get back to me, m'kay. :dunce:










"Guess who the malicious computer hackers or crackers are who break into
government and two out of three company computers - who produce
computer viruses and Trojans, denial of service attacks against
Internet Service Providers and who send hate mail, spam and E-mail
bombs. You got it! Its mostly atheists.

Malicious atheist hackers costs the america's citizens billions of
dollars in taxes for computer security. It is said that american
companies spent almost $6.3 billion on computer security in 1997 and
the market is expected to grow to 13 billion by 2000. In September
1998, atheistic hackers struck their own atheistic ally, the New York
Times.

Who do atheists have to protect their own computers from? Guess who!
When it comes to computer crimes, its never difficult to identify the
people who commit them. ATHEISTS and other non believers!"

JewsDidWTC, alt.atheism <2006-Sep-01>



You actually believe that, don't you? Paranoid much? :rofl:

[China_cat]

12. The ignorance is amazing

"How could man have been given dominion over all the animals if he himself is an animal? It is impossible. Therefore man cannot be and is not an animal."

AIC, aliveinchrist.us <2006-Sep-06>




Another product of Fundie home-schooling. :dunce:

In his/her case, that's a true statement. Sounds closer related to a rutabaga.

[NMMNG]

19. You're probably right

:P

[YellowRubberDuckie]

13. When someone references the bible as proof for something...

Their argument is all of a sudden complete crap.
Duckie

[skygazer]

18. But it's the "holly bible"

Isn't that the one they put out at Christmas?

[NMMNG]

20. How dare you impugn the Bible

It is the written record of God's word--the Bible says so.

[reformedrepub]

8. YRD

I was stationed in your state. What an interesting place....

[evlbstrd]

9. I couldn't bear to read very far.

But here's one of my favorites:

"Guess who the malicious computer hackers or crackers are who break into
government and two out of three company computers - who produce
computer viruses and Trojans, denial of service attacks against
Internet Service Providers and who send hate mail, spam and E-mail
bombs. You got it! Its mostly atheists.

Malicious atheist hackers costs the america's citizens billions of
dollars in taxes for computer security. It is said that american
companies spent almost $6.3 billion on computer security in 1997 and
the market is expected to grow to 13 billion by 2000. In September
1998, atheistic hackers struck their own atheistic ally, the New York
Times.

Who do atheists have to protect their own computers from? Guess who!
When it comes to computer crimes, its never difficult to identify the
people who commit them. ATHEISTS and other non believers!"

JewsDidWTC, alt.atheism <2006-Sep-01>

[sakabatou]

10. More (puke):

"God wants gay people? I don't think so. Wait. Yes, He does want us to be gay -- HAPPY gay but not disgusting gay gay."
-ChrisWin1

"

I was listening to Rush Limbaugh, and he presented this interesting scenario. What would happen if the woman's right to choose an abortion interfered with homsexual's rights - which I think it is very conceivable that this could happen. Would the gays champion the right for a woman to choose an abortion, even if it means there will be far less homosexuals in the world - at least enough that they will no longer be a political force in the world? My guess that if this scenario ever hapens the homosexuals would become the staunchest pro-life group ever.

And what of the feminist? Would the feminst change his position on abortion? Would the feminist be in favor of outlawing abortion if it would endanger the homosexual right to exist? My guess is that the pro-abortion crowd do not care if it means the total extinction of their homsexual friends."
-PaulAckerman

"(In response to the Japanese royal family's tradition of male only succession)

John Knox had it right in "The First Blast of the Trumpet Against the Monstrous Regiment of Women." The more recent examples of female regents notwithstanding, Paul's message is clear that men are to lead, and not women. It is even worse when considering the fact that, in the case of Mary Queen of Scots and Bloody Mary of England (Roman Catholics and the two women that Knox was most focused upon in his diatribe), the women took power and abused their power against Protestants. Paul says that it is improper for women to have authority over or to teach a man. This is not simply (as some suggest) a message to the Church that has nothing to do with how society is to be goverened; Paul speaks of a creation ordinance, not an ecclesiastical one.

Better to keep the genie in the bottle, as the Japanese are trying to do, rather than trying to undo the precent, which is impossible in the UK, the Netherlands, and Denmark.

It just goes to show what feminism has done to the Western world. We would do well to read Knox's work and wise up here and abroad.

http://www.swrb.com/newslett/actualNLs/firblast.htm"
-PastorTA
(This guy must be REALLY stupid. The Royal Family has had no power after WWII.)

"Quote:
It wasn't an uninhabited place before the Jews arived.
And it wasn't a developed place until the Jews arrived. It took a 20th-century culture to turn an utter wasteland into a productive nation. And it wasn't the goat-rapers that did it. They had no interest in "Palestine" until the Jews reclaimed the land, and then ... "Hey, look at that! It's fertile! Praise Allah! It's OURS! KILL THE JEWS!"

We've seen what those ignorant, destructive savages do when given a productive land. If they DID kill all the Jews and take over Israel, within a year they would utterly destroy it.

The Ay-rabs are incapable of civilized behavior, and their demonic religion justifies their barbarianism. What civilization exists in the middle east was brought there by the Jews and the western nations. Left to themselves, the Ay-rabs would be living in tents, riding camels and murdering whoever won't kiss their asses. And if the Jews and the west pulled out, the veneer of civilization would be stripped away in a heartbeat.

The middle east is a potential garden spot. All it needs is an Orkin Man Brigade to purge the region of its infestation of burnoosed parasites."
-Doctor Doom

[LynneSin]

14. Someone PLEASE call the ASPCA on this wack job!

COMFORTER,
TODAY, AFTER READING A BOOK CALLED "PORTALS TO CLEANSING" BY DR. HENRY MALONE, I DECIDED I NEEDED TO HAVE MY ANIMALS DELIVERED AS WELL. I STARTED WITH MY CAT. I HAVE ALREADY ANOINTED THEM AND PLED THE BLOOD OVER THEM, BUT I DECIDED THEY NEEDED A DELIVERANCE AS WELL.

I ANOINTED HER WITH OIL IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER, THE SON, AND THE HOLY SPIRIT. THEN I DEDICATED HER TO THE LORD. THEN I BEGAN THE DELIVERANCE. AS SOON AS I TOLD THE EVIL FORCES TO LEAVE IMMEDIATELY, THE CAT DID TOO ! SHE RAN FROM ME AND HID. THEN, SHE RAN TO THE DOOR. SHE LOOKED FRIGHTENED. SO, LOOKING HER IN THE EYE, AND BEING ABLE TO TELL THERE WAS SOMETHING THERE BESIDES HER, I COMMANDED THEM TO LEAVE HER BODY IMMEDIATELY AS SHE IS DEDICATED TO JESUS CHRIST AND HIS PROPERTY. I LET HER OUTSIDE AND SHE YAWNED...WHICH IS AN INDICATION THEY ARE LEAVING. SHE STAYED OUTSIDE, DESPITE THE WIND BLOWING HARD. THEN, AFTER ABOUT 10-15 MINUTES SHE CAME BACK IN. SHE SEEMS DIFFERENT. IN A GOOD WAY. I GUESS THE DOG IS NEXT.
COMFORTER, ANY THOUGHTS OR ADVICE?"

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

15. WTF?!

I know if anyone tried to deliver my cat Midnight, she would rip their eyes out. The darkness is strong in her and I like it.

[LynneSin]

16. Evita is so evil she can cause pain just by the glare of her eyes

I'd get rid of her but I'm afraid she'd come back and stalk me viciously so we just have an uneasy truce - I feed her and brush her hair once a day and she won't kill me.

[ComerPerro]

21. OMG I thought this was a satire site, like Landover Baptist

but these are real posts by real people.

THIS IS SERIES!!!!!!!!!1!!!111!!

[ComerPerro]

22. I agree with one poster. I would also like to see a film of 1984

from a Conservative point of view.

I think it would be funny as hell.


"Well, just another regular day. We are still at war with East Asia. We have always been at war with East Asia. But that's ok, becuase War is Peace, and Slavery is Freedom. I love Big Brother, and I can't stand that terrorist asshole Goldstein."


That's all it would be, right? Just a two hour love letter to big brother.

[InvisibleTouch]

23. There's a sign along I-70 in central Ohio...

...on what seems to be privately owned farmland, where the owner has put up these giant billboards with the "10 Commandments" and other Christian references. It's obnoxious, but I guess they have the right to do what they want on their own land. The one that makes me laugh every time is the one that says "If you died today, where would you spend eternity?" My response is always: "Wouldn't you like to know!" ;)