I'm gettin' tired of this bullshit - *I'M* gonna run for president

[Rabrrrrrr]

on the TRUTH AND NO-BULLSHIT platform.

Dems, Repukes, freeps, libertarians, independants, greens - they're all messed up. They're too big, they're too much tied to old traditions; old, outmoded epistemologies; and have been around enough that first concern is self-preservation, not doing what's best for the country, for its people, and for the people of this planet.

I'm the party of one - the Rabrrrrrr party - the party of truth, sensibility, logic, fairness for all, and NO BULLSHIT: no religious bullshit, no economic bullshit, no racist bullshit, no education bullshit, no keeping-people-dumb-for-my-own-gain bullshit, no "end times" bullshit, no sexist bullshit, no "but that's the way we've always done it" bullshit. None of that.

And I don't want anyone else in my party, except while I'm in office - I don't want to start a movement based on me or any one particular ideology that in a generation will just be a fucked up mess like every other party or movement after the leader goes, that becomes obsessed with self-preservation and fears and destroys creativity. After I'm gone, the Rabrrrrrr Party will be disolved for the next one; and when that leader is gone, that party will be dissolved in favor of the next one.

ARGH!!

I think that four (preferably eight) years under a Rabrrrrrr Presidentiariaraly (which I'll call it just because I like to be funny as well as serious) is just what we need to become relevant in the world, respected, powerful, and more moral, ethical, intelligent, and peaceful.

[buddhamama]

1. oh crap

i was planning on running too, on the buddhamama platform.

i give up. you win, Rabrrrrrr. Congrats.

[Rabrrrrrr]

2. Maybe we can run together!

It's time for a Buddhist in the White House.

[buddhamama]

8. you and me, babe

a winning combination!

[UrbScotty]

3. Rabrrrrrr/ih8thegop 2008! (nt)

[matcom]

4. before I vote for YOU I need some platform answers

1) Will you make a national holiday in honor of Kelly Brook?

2) Will you make the Taco the OFFICIAL food of The U.S.A.?

3) How do you feel about the illegal Boy Band Problem?

4) Do you promise NOT to raise taxes on Internet Porn and Adult Latex Enhancement Toys?

5) Will you promise to do EVERYTHING in your power to FINALLY catch the Olsen Twins?

your answers will determine my support or my wrath.

thank you.

[Rabrrrrrr]

24. Okay, wise guy:

1) Will you make a national holiday in honor of Kelly Brook? Yes I will. Every July 3, this giving us a two-day holiday around Independance Day. Also, I will institute the "Natalie Portman will be nude when in public" law, which shall remain in place until such time as she gets saggy, and someone better looking appears.

2) Will you make the Taco the OFFICIAL food of The U.S.A.? Yes. And I will make Apple Jell-O the nation's offical taco topping as part of my "POMME Law (Piss Off Matcom Mucho Everyday)"

3) How do you feel about the illegal Boy Band Problem? All existing Boy Bands, and all still-living members of former Boy Bands will be hunted to extinction by a national hunting permit to be distributed to hunters; much like 'duck stamps' are required for duck hunting, and duck stamps are always designed by a famous wildlife artist and are quite beautiful, so also the 'Boy Band Stamp' shall be designed by a famous artist with a painting of either "New Kids on the Block" or "N'Stink" on a rotating, yearly basis. All future boy bands will be exectued at the moment of formation, as will their managers, producers, and anyone involved with them, in public, on the National Mall.

4) Do you promise NOT to raise taxes on Internet Porn and Adult Latex Enhancement Toys? I shall eliminate all taxes, even local sales taxtes, on all pornography and sex toys. I will also enact a law in which the Ministry of Christianity (to be appointed with RevCheeseHead, which will be a cabinet position) shall mail a pallet of sexual aids and gay porn to Fred Phelps each day.

5) Will you promise to do EVERYTHING in your power to FINALLY catch the Olsen Twins? Catch them, tag them, release them.... just until they're about 100 yards away, then take their heads off with simultaneous double-barrel 10-guage shots from the entire cast of 'Arrested Development'. On live TV.

[billyskank]

5. No-one will vote for no bullshit

Everyone complains about being lied to, but nobody actually wants to hear the truth.

The truth is that you can't all carry on driving fuck-off big trucks. The truth is that we can't keep on flying all over the place. The oil's going to run out. As is the coal, the gas - and the uranium, so suck on that, nuclear lobby.

The truth is that we live in a finite planet and therefore any model of civilisation that is based on perpetual economic growth is unrealistic.

But no fucker is going to vote for someone with the guts to say so.

[SOteric]

6. Yep. What he said.

:hi:

Besides, the cattle ranchers are not gonna want to go out to their miscellaneous meadows and pick up all those bull droppings, trust me.

[matcom]

7. GODDAMMIT!!

i'm trying to get an answer for Adult Latex Enhancement Toys!!!!111 x(

[buddhamama]

11. dung beetles

are the answer.

[billyskank]

12. You is a GENIUS!

:7

[buddhamama]

16. actually, SOteric is the genius

she raised a valid concern, all i did was come up with a feasible solution.

it's why i love her, she's always thinking. :hi:

[billyskank]

17. It's true; she's a peach

:hi:

[Rabrrrrrr]

25. Sadly, of course, you are correct.

People are too stupid to vote for the truth.

It's too bad, really.

[RevolutionaryActs]

9. Cool, I'd vote for you.

Twice. :7

[billyskank]

10. Sorry, according to my count you voted for Pat Buchanan

:P

[matcom]

13. even WORSE!

i hear he voted for Mike Hunt!

[billyskank]

14. No you DIDN'T just bring Mike Hunt into this!

:hide:

:rofl:

[matcom]

15. Mike Hunt should be WORSHIPED DAMMIT!

:hide:

[RevolutionaryActs]

19. Double ew.

x(

[RevolutionaryActs]

18. Ew.

x(

[Telly Savalas]

20. Since Rabrrrrrr started posting at DU...

our nation has become bogged down in an unwinnable conflict in Iraq.

Since Rabrrrrrr started posting at DU, our nation has plunged further and further into debt.

Since Rabrrrrrr started posting at DU, thousands of Americans have been murdered on their home soil.

With this as the legacy of Rabrrrrr at DU, how can we trust him to be our president?





(Paid for by DUers for Truth.)

[matcom]

21. he likes to sit in the smoking section at Olive Garden TOO!

with children present :cry:

[Neoma]

22. Haha, I don't vote.

But if you ran, damn man. I think I just might.

[qwertyMike]

23. Do you have better than a C+?

2. Are you an alcoholic? (Not that there's anything wrong with that)

3. Are you a Brazillionaire?

4. Do you have twins?

5. Will you tell us the truth about KFK/OLB/BONO?

[Rabrrrrrr]

26. Yes, I do.

2. Are you an alcoholic? (Not that there's anything wrong with that) no

3. Are you a Brazillionaire? no

4. Do you have twins? no

5. Will you tell us the truth about KFK/OLB/BONO? Who's KFK? Who's OLB? And by BONO, do you mean Bono of U2, or something else?

[qwertyMike]

27. Sorry

JFK/OBL/BONO

My typing sucks

[Elidor]

28. I'll vote for you just to see the waterboarding of Kinkade

Live on network TV. Every night.

[Rabrrrrrr]

29. Every day from 12:01 - 1:00 PM in the entry of the National Gallery

:yeehah!: