"Does your husband know you're getting your hair cut short?"

[Sequoia]

Seriously...I live in a such a backward hick town. Went to a mildy cheap hair place on Friday after work. My hair was like a long bob but getting too frizzy and heavy as I have very thick hair. Instead of just trimming it I asked her to cut it all off and then she asked my if my husband knew I was getting my hair cut short. I nearly fell off my chair. I told her I haven't been able to get any hair-dresser to cut my hair as short as I'd like because they always seemed to fear cutting women's hair above the shoulder. Even older women around here have long hair. Strange. Not there's anything wrong with it but here it's like an obsession. It's very "christiany" up here and all the school girls have long hair. Watching the annual town parade in May of this year I noticed the school bands, Girl Scouts, etc. girl members all had long hair. Not a single girl had short hair, not one.

[lildreamer316]

1. You have GOT to be kidding me.

I just don't have any words for that. Guess I've gotta laugh.
Sorry you had to deal with that.

[XNASA]

2. You should have told her......

"No. My husband doesn't know, but my boyfriend does."

[Arugula Latte]

30. Or better yet ...

"My lover said it would look cute on me, and she's going to get one, too."

[LeftyMom]

3. I hate to contribute a good comeback too late

but should it ever happen again, smile really big and tell them it was your wife's idea. :evilgrin:

[Hell Hath No Fury]

4. "Does your husband know...?"

Fuck that! Women as chattle, pure and simple.

I would have had some choice words for that woman -- after she'd finished cuting my hair, of course. Or, I would have really fucked with her and told her my girlfriend really likes me butch. :P

[miss_american_pie]

5. Oh dear God

Just reading that makes me want to chop mine off. :eyes:

[RetroLounge]

13. NOOOoooooooooooooooooooooo!

Really?

:D

RL

[miss_american_pie]

20. LOL

Don't hold back. How do you really feel about it? :D

[RetroLounge]

23. hee hee

:hug:

RL

[NewWaveChick1981]

6. Oh, so now you need your "husband's permission" to get your

freakin' hair cut??? :wtf: Why should anyone else care how you wear your hair? It's YOUR hair.... I think the immortal words of Eddie Murphy in 48 HRS are appropriate here: "Backwards-ass country fucks..." :rofl:

[MountainLaurel]

7. My mom's cousin was married to that guy

Their daughter, who was my age, wasn't allowed to get her hair cut shorter than her shoulders until she was in middle school. She was also treated very differently than her three brothers in terms of what she was allowed to do and know. Not surprisingly, she got pregnant at 18, and by the age of 20 had two kids her mother has raised.

[ThomCat]

8. Do they ask men if they have their wife's permission

to maintain that comb-over or mullet?

I wish I was surprised by this. :(

[lumberjack_jeff]

33. You've never heard:

"your wife didn't see you before you dressed yourself today, did she?"

Maybe it's just me. ;)

[spinbaby]

9. Where do you live?

I want to never visit.

[Sequoia]

10. A town in Sonoma County

It's more south now than the south is. I see trucks go by with the Confederate Flag and I grew up in NC and never, ever, saw that in any town I lived in, in the South which includes Columbia, SC. Now, with the Hispanic women they do have long hair which is something of a cultural thing but I'm talking white women. It's very racist here and if you're not from here, not a 5th generation, don't ever go to chruch...well you're on the outside. The town is divided with a big ulgy mall plucked right down in the center of town which cuts off a district populated by Hispanics. And the great plant dude Luther Burbank? Back in his day, he belonged to a committe that wanted to make sure the Chinese wouldn't make Santa Rosa their town. In Petaluma about a week ago a young black guy was walking down the sidewalk and two white male highschoolers approached him and told him to leave, that he didn't belong there. To be honest the black population is very, very small up here and I've yet to see a black person in Healdsburg. I could tell you more, but you get the picture.

[Shakespeare]

14. You just summed up a big reason why I got the fuck out of there last month

Backwards as all hell, and I was stunned. Between the hicksville atmosphere and the gang problems (I got caught in the crossfire of a gang shooting in February in SR), I began to actively hate the place. I'm now happily back in Los Angeles, in all its weird, sunny, diverse glory.

[Sequoia]

16. Funny, I used to live in Los Angels...Santa Monica actually.

I miss it like you wouldn't know. (You know though!). Wine Country, right? Racist "liberals" and hicks galore. Sure most voted against Bush but still, don't come into "our town".

[Shakespeare]

17. ya know, I used to live in the DEEP south....

...and I took more shit from freepers in Santa Rosa (invariably over my bumper stickers) than I EVER did down south. The only good things I have to say about the area is that they produce great wine, produce and cheese--but that's about it. I came away with no warm feelings about my fellow north bay residents.

Los Angeles has its own flaws, of course, but it's wonderfully diverse and vibrant, and I don't feel my brain cells dying off like I did up north. ;-)

The odd thing is, most of them fancy themselves to be stylish and intellectual, and are anything BUT (and yes, I'm using a broad brush there). The combination of ignorance and hypocrisy was a huge turn-off for me.

[Sequoia]

18. Just look at you...I'm from the "south" too!

North Carolina in the hillbilly hills. Ya hoo Mountain Dew! I never saw any one wave the Confederate Flag either. We had them around but honestly, I never considered it a racist symbol at first and the high school guys who had them was because of some Civil War thing but no kid I knew put slavery and that flag in the same sentence. Yes, we have wonderful food like juciy tomatoes, and wet celery, and cucumbers and corn and that wonderful diary...Clover-Stornetta and the views all around. But the freeping fundies here...worse than any southerners I knew except for that little town called Rosman. That town had the "don't let the sun go down on you" sign.

[Xithras]

42. Ah, the myth of "liberal" California.

Whenever I hear people talking about how "liberal" California is, I like to recite back stories like that one. I live in the Central Valley, and this is pseudo-Christian Freeper central. I've had cars keyed, been screamed at at stoplights over my bumper stickers, and have wailed in desperation as Rethugs dominated our politics.

Many people aren't aware of this, but after the Civil War many southerners fled the war ravaged south to settle "out west". Most of the pre-depression white population in the Central Valley and Central California is descended from the settlers. The rest are descended from 1930's dust bowl escapees who brought their small town Protestant religious fervor with them. The two populations mixed and have produced a very conservative society that still dominates large parts of this state.

[sakabatou]

45. WTF?

I "live" there now... holy crap, I never knew how bigoted this county is... :scared:

[Kali]

11. Did you ask her where her chador was?

[graywarrior]

12. Next time, have a permission slip.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

15. People at work ask me crap like that all the time.

I just say, I don't ask my husband if I can do anything. I'm an adult. And then I change the subject.
Duckie

[knowbody0]

21. i had to get written permission from husband to have

my tubes tied.

[mykpart]

25. I did too, but it was back in 1974.

I thought that had changed.

[knowbody0]

28. yep, 1977

good times!

[YellowRubberDuckie]

27. HUH?

:wtf:

[knowbody0]

29. see what we've done for you youngsters!

this was 1977

[ikojo]

19. My roommate told me that if a woman wears her

hair short that they should not look to him for a compliment. I asked him about his daughter, what would he do if she wanted to wear her hair short and his response was "she knows how I feel about that subject" but in the end he agreed that she had control over how she wore her hair (IMAGINE!).

Really I don't get why men think THEY have a say over how a woman wears HER hair!

[bertha katzenengel]

22. Oh, for sweet Christ's sake.

:eyes:

So sorry.

Did you get it cut to the proper length? Do you like it?

[Sequoia]

26. It's so short my daughter said it looked like a boy's cut!

Now I'm cute and perky. Move over Katie Couric!

[reyd reid reed]

24. You're kidding.

You've GOT to be. Holy shit!!!

Makes me wanna go chop mine all off just to be contrary. How dare she?

:mad:

[auntAgonist]

31. I never get my hair cut

without discussing it with my husband. He likes it long. Because of nutritional issues I began to lose a LOT of hair. I had to have it cut fairly short. The decision was a tough one. I had hair to my waist. I have had it cut 4 times to the length it is now. (just above the shoulders) I would not have gone to the hairdresser without consulting him for his ideas first. I have no problem acquiescing to his wishes there.

aA

[XemaSab]

34. Yeah, but that's your CHOICE

Boy, any man who tries to tell me what to do with my hair better duck...

[Book Lover]

48. Different strokes...

[auntAgonist]

58. life would be

boring if we were all the same, no?

:)

aA

[July]

32. Whoa, that is fucked up.

I have opinions about what my husband wears, and how he cuts his hair, but in the end I always tell him, "It's your hair/body/clothing." He prefers my hair short but guess what? It's up to me. At the moment it's long. At the moment he's also wearing that sweater that I hate. Live and let live.

[LuckyTheDog]

35. My wife had a shoulder-length cut once

I liked it. She has since let it grow out again, which I don't get because it must be harder to deal with really long hair.

I told her I like the long hair, but... I also said that if she's keeping it long for me, forget it. I liked the shoulder-length cut on her just as much. I guess that means she'd keeping it long for herself and not for me.

And that, Loungers, is about the extent to which I have discussed ny wife's hair with her in the 14 years we have been together.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

36. My dear Sequoia!

I used to wear my hair longer............shoulder length....

It was a pain to care for....

When I had my second daughter, I knew it had to go, and it went......

My husband grumbled, but he knows it's my choice......

He still thinks I'm beautiful, BTW!

[u4ic]

37. You are, Peggy!

:loveya:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

39. My dear u4ic!

Thank you, sweetie......You are a doll!

You must know that I don't always look like this, though...... :hug:

[u4ic]

41. I HOPE you wouldn't be that colour of blue

if you were naked...:yoiks:

[u4ic]

38. Do husbands pick out

the clothes their wives must wear for the day, too? :puke:

[auntAgonist]

44. not to that extreme...

but my Husband will pick out what he'd like me to wear when we're going someplace special.

It's not a demand but a request.

:)

:hug: u4ic :loveya:

[u4ic]

47. Hey, baby doll!

:loveya: :hug:

How are you this morning?

[auntAgonist]

57. hiya !

:hug:

I'm doing ok. How are you? ...

I hope you have a great day. PM me and let me know what's going on these days. I'm SO out of touch.

:)
:loveya:

aA

[AtomicKitten]

40. So, did you, like, bring a note?

:)

[hyphenate]

43. I've heard that kind of shit before

and it's not just in "backwater" towns, it's everywhere.

I really must fear for any woman who decides that her husband's wishes in respect to HER hair are more important than her own. That's utter bullshit. And I have noticed that many women from other cultures are among the ones most afraid to speak up on their own behalf and do anything about it.

It's nothing but a goddamned control thing. If anyone, ANYONE told me what I could or could not do with my HAIR, I would bitch slap them and tell them to go fuck themselves.

[Heidi]

46. "Woman your age shouldn't have such long hair."

A librarian actually said this to me when I was about 32. :shrug:

[hfojvt]

49. well by that age, most women have succumbed to

female pattern baldness, which I believe is caused by scissors. FPB seems to hit most women in their early 20s, although it could be an American affliction. I need to find out where Sequoia lives though, it sounds like Paradise City. "Take me down to the Paradise City where the grass is green and the girls are pretty. Oh won't you please take me home."

[Heidi]

51. I think the thing about FPB may be an urban legend.

I'm going to check your claim with Snopes, smarty-pants. :P

[hfojvt]

52. it depends on what the definition of "bald" is

I say that any woman with hair shorter than mine AFTER I get a haircut, is the moral equivalent of bald. It is surreal to me that when I go get my hair cut that the girl cutting my hair has shorter hair than mine after she is done cutting it short, and in the meantime some old guy with basically a five days worth of beard growth on his head comes in for a haircut. I can't help but think "what is there to cut?"

But I cannot wear my hair that short since I look like Ross Perot on aural growth hormone. I wish I could go with a shaved head, really, since I almost never like the way my hair looks. Once in college a hair stylist cut too high and exposed my ears - bit time. The results were hilarious. I experienced what it is like to be Maria Sharapova, only not in a good way. As I walked down the steps to the cafeteria I could see almost every head turning to look at me as the person sitting across from them said 'holy sh*t, look at that haircut'. I felt like taking a bow or something. 'Thank you! Thank you! I will be here the rest of the semester!'

[Heidi]

53. "Moral equivalent"?

:rofl: How is baldness a moral issue? If baldness is a moral issue, I guess I'm a fan of immoral men. The top of Call Me Wesley's head is as smooth as a baby's butt. :thumbsup:

(If you'll recall, I've seen your photo, and I seriously doubt that anyone who's seen your eyes would notice your hair. :) )

[raccoon]

55. What a nosy witch!

People like that, maybe we need to ask them have they ever considered taking a course in manners.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

50. As someone with short hair, I am not surprised at all.

And I live in a pretty liberal (albeit red) county. I have gone in for hair cuts and flat out have the stylist tell me that she's not going to cut my hair, because it'd be too short, or a man's cut, or butch. I mean, seriously what the fuck? It's her job to do what I tell her to do, not tell me what I should or should not be doing with my hair. It's a major pain in the ass and I don't understand how people get off saying shit like that.

Actually, the first time I cut my hair short was purely practical. I was fencing in HS and my hair was too long to tuck up into my mask and too short to tuck into my lame. I got really tired of having bouts stopped so I could fix my hair, so I just cut it off. I ended up preferring it short, so I always kept it that way. Of course, my mother freaked out that I looked like a dyke and she grounded me over the whole thing, which was really absurd, because I looked like a complete dyke in HS regardless of hair length. Fortunately, she has since calmed down about my sexuality and I ended up naturally dressing more feminine as I got older.

[cwydro]

64. my problem is the opposite

I'm a gay woman in a pretty gay town and like my hair short, but not TOO short. Everytime I go to a male (gay)hairdresser here, they cut me SOOO short, despite my instructions. One even said to me, "oh this is what all the girls (meaning gay girls) are doing". This was back in the days of that horrid shaved sides thing...I managed to stop him before it was too short. Aaaarrggghhhh...

[Ellen Forradalom]

54. "No, and he doesn't know

I'm screwing your husband, either."

:eyes: :eyes: :puke: :puke:

[raccoon]

56. Do you have a time machine, by any chance?

What I mean is, did you travel back about half a century and hear that?

:silly:

The thought that women are being asked that in 2006 makes me gag!

:puke:

[Deep13]

59. "I've told two of my husbands, but the third is out of town."

"Anyway, I left a note on the coven's e-mail."

[InvisibleTouch]

60. Well, I have long hair...

...waist-length, and still growing it, and I'm anything but "christiany". :) I just personally like it that way. I don't intend to chop it off when I get older, either, and look the same as everybody else, and I won't mind when it turns silver, because I think it's pretty that way. But the key point is, no one should wear their hair a particular way to please a husband or boyfriend (or girlfriend, for that matter) or parent or social norm. Insist upon what you want and do things your way. (Same goes for men, btw - long or short, it's everyone's individual choice.)

[Sequoia]

61. These responses are mostly funny.

As a kid I had very long beautiful black hair down to my waist which was cut off immediatly when I went to this boarding school. The adults didn't care for the younger girls to have long hair because it was too much to deal with. In high school my hair was long. Now, I'm having FPB and when I wash my hair it comes out in handfulls so long hair is more trouble than not. Not to mention, gray hair which I color from time to time. With the religious types and long hair, it's that Paul in the Bible writing all that stuff about how women should cover their heads and be quite and have long hair as that's the crowing glory of God and all that a woman could hope for. Saint Paul and Peter were no friends of women.

[MorningGlow]

62. Similar story

A few years ago, a friend of mine (who also lives in a backward, hick town) took her elder son to the bank for a small car loan (a few thousand I think). The loan person (male) told them to come back with dad/husband. YOINKS.

Needless to say, the bank didn't get their business.

[cwydro]

63. so did you

ever address her comment directly? Maybe AFTER she had cut it?

[AngryAmish]

65. Well, did he?