My dog closes his eyes before he pumps my leg.

[IChing]

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

I went to a gay bar, they wanted proof of sex so I showed them, they said it wasn't enough.

My sex life is terrible, my wife put a mirror over the dogs bed. Actually she did put a mirror over our bed. She says she likes to watch herself laugh.


I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette.



My psychiatrist told me I was crazy. I told him I want a second opinion. He said okay you're ugly too.

[IChing]

1. Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.

remember one guy gave her a good piece of his mind. yeah, it was right after she took a good piece of his leg.

What a mean kid too. Why he puts krazy glue in my preparation H.