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Through the years we all learn little life lessons, but many times we forget the lesson and end up hurting ourselves or others, making the same mistakes, lose sleep over silly things or just take minutes off our lives by stressing needlessly. There are some “rules” that I try to live by when I take the time to think of them and applying the “rules” has made me a happier person and has made my life much easier to live.
One rule is that story of the man who whined because he had no shoes until he saw the man with no feet. I use this one a lot. No matter how bad you think you have it, chances are very high that someone has it worse than you do at that time. It’s ok to feel sorry for yourself, it’s only natural, but let it go quick. Don’t hold on to self pity too long because you are wasting time that could be spent making things better.
If I start feeling like I have it bad, I think of people like the Holocaust survivors or parents who are sitting by their child’s hospital bed while the child is dying from cancer and then my whining over a breakup or losing my tickets to a football game becomes embarrassing.
Another one of my thoughts of self-help is to never jump to conclusions unless you know the facts.
When I was 18 or 19 I was working in a factory. One woman that worked with us didn’t show up for a few days and one morning some idiot supervisor told the woman’s nephew “You tell your aunt to get her ass in here or she is fired”. He said it in front of the whole crew and I know he felt like a big man at the time.
That night after work the woman’s nephew went to her house to find out what was up and found his aunt shot execution style next to her bed and her 6 year old son shot in the head on their couch. Her boyfriend had done it. When I heard about it the next day, all I could think about is that ass of a supervisor, and they way he acted like such an asshole the day before.
A lot of us are quick to jump to a conclusion before thinking that there might just be a legitimate explanation than a person doing what they are doing just to piss us off. Even on the road I give the benefit of doubt to other drivers. Yeah, it is really a pain to be cut off, but maybe that person just got back from their mother’s funeral, or on their way home from the doctor’s office after finding out they have a life threatening illness. Who knows? For a few seconds of frustration, I just usually shake it off and continue on my way. There is no point in getting pissed and flipping the person off. It isn’t usually worth the stress.
One other thing that I keep in mind is to remember that we all have egos and we need to keep them in check and not let them control our life.
The ego is something we all are born with and many times we let it dictate our happiness or our pain. It comes down to “I want”. I want this, I want that, I want her to like me, I want him to treat me with respect, I want to eat at a restaurant in peace with no kids running around, I want people to move out of my way when I am on the road and so on.
My father used to tell me “The world doesn’t spin around your ass Johnnie”. Obviously it didn’t but like any other child I wanted things my way. It’s nice to make yourself the center of your universe, but it is silly to expect everyone else live in your universe.
The ego wants to satisfy itself by any means necessary and will make us do stupid things to get that satisfaction. The most prevalent I see are romantic relationships. Man, I have seen some stupid stuff. For some reason a lot of people think the NEED to have a partner so they spend way too much time trying to get one.
This could actually be a whole other discussion, but what drives people to spend so much time, effort and even money to seek out a relationship? What would drive a woman to put her life in danger and her children in danger to be with a man who she knew was physically abusive before they marry, but marry him anyway? Then be surprised when he abuses her? Or what would drive a man to leave his wife and children for another woman and then be surprised when that woman cheats on him with another married man?
Anyway, it is the ego and it is something that I try to remind myself every time I feel the need to want. Desire is like a drug and the addiction is much easier because you don’t need to search for desire, it is already inside you. But it can cause as much and sometimes even more damage to your life than a drug addiction.
One quick one is, it doesn't matter how much information you know, it's knowing where to find that information that matters more. Keeping too much crap inside your brain is fine, but life is a lot more easier if you just know where to find the information you need rather than taking up too much time trying to soak it all in. That is obviously not something that many will agree with, but it is something I use because it has made my life easier.
Those are a few of my personal thoughts that help me keep my life flowing in a more enjoyable way. There are a few more, but I have written a book here. I just thought it would be cool to hear some of other life lessons from other people here.
Of course I am close to being human so I obviously keep making mistakes, but I have made less than I use to when I was younger. Life is really easy to do, all you have to do is breathe, and that's a no brainer. But sometimes you have to deal and dealing is what gets us into trouble.
What have you got?
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