Did you have an unhappy childhood?

[Floogeldy]

[jpgray]

1. Mix, like most people

[leftofthedial]

2. no,

but my second childhood sucks

[Elidor]

3. Were mommy & daddy not nice to little floogeldy?

It's okay-you can tell us.

[pitohui]

4. if you are intelligent, then childhood is by nature going to be unhappy

you have other people, most of them less intelligent than you are, in control of you and telling you how to run your life

you'd have to be a pretty passive person to be "happy" in such a situation

childhood is just shitty, we need to just invent something

[jpgray]

6. Isn't that more about being impatient, and self-centered?

:D

[pitohui]

10. yes children are impatient and self centered

it's the nature of being a child, i would think

expecting someone to pop out of the womb all smashed into shape eager to be a submissive costo worker-bee is terribly unrealistic i should think

we need better technology

frontal lobotomies in the womb!

[pitohui]

11. on a serious note some kids die as children, my friend did

children have a keen sense that this is the only life they've ever had, if they die as a child, they have never had a moment's freedom, so they are justified in being "impatient"

a friend of mine died of mosquito born encephalitis while still in high school, but long before that, my life and that of all children of my age was colored by the cuban missile crisis and the concept that we could be dead in 15 minutes at any given time

if it's selfish and impatient to want to live, then yeah children are selfish and impatient

they see the world dying and they'd like to live a little first

seriously you don't remember?

[Blue-Jay]

50. but oddly, no kids die as adults.

That's a head-scratcher.

[jpgray]

66. You're an intelligent fellow to have reasoned that out

I can't imagine how hard it must be for you, interacting with the rest of us. :cry:

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

9. And some unhappy children grow up into bitter, nasty adults. nt

[Name removed]

32. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[bicentennial_baby]

61. ....

:applause: :applause: :applause:

:yourock:

[LaraMN]

48. Then, it would appear that my kids are dumb as shit;

because they're pretty joyful people, the vast majority of the time.
And I wouldn't have it any other way.

[Susang]

51. Good for you (and them)

Being intelligent and/or sensitive does not necessarily sentence one to a miserable childhood. Your children sound wonderful. :D

[Midlodemocrat]

55. Not bloody likely. With you as their mom.

:hug:

[bicentennial_baby]

60. bullshit...

nothing new from you though.... :boring:

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

69. Check your PM.

:*

[mad-mommy]

5. hi floog

[Random_Australian]

7. Me? I don't know.

I lost the ability to feel emotion over time. I worked and got it back, (to a reasonable approximation with a few things missing), but because of something that happened in the process I simply don't know. My memories carry no emotional content.

I think - I can't think of any that would. What say you - what kind of thing do you have a strong emotional attachment to? (That happened to you before you were 18).

I've got to the point where I can daydream with emotion, but not remember, I think. I'm not entirely sure what memories are supposed to be emotional though.

But from quasi-empirical estimates, I would say my childhood was 'happy'.

[Neoma]

8. I was raised by wolves.

[Lady Effingbroke]

12. Of course.

Isn't it mandatory? :shrug:

[Name removed]

13. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[pitohui]

14. yes very effin funny

i used to be close to a man whose alcoholic father murdered his mother when he was 3 years old

i'm glad you think it's entertaining tho

after all, if you were smart enough to choose the right parents, it wouldn't happen to you

people who make these wrong choices, that's their problem :sarcasm:

[Control-Z]

15. When I was young

I thought children needed to be shot and put out of their misery. I assumed all kids felt the same as I - wishing they'd never been born. When I got older I decided it was my childhood that made me feel as I did - that it was not a common feeling for the average child. After reading this thread I'm beginning to think I had it right in the first place.

[Midlodemocrat]

16. Nope. I had a wonderful childhood.

Raised by devoted liberal intellectuals. I miss them terribly.

They gave me three wonderful brothers with whom I enjoy a close relationship to this day.

[RebelOne]

17. I didn't have the best of childhoods.

I suffered through my mother's 3 marriages. Had 2 stepfathers. One was good to me, but he was killed in an auto accident. The 2nd stepfather couldn't stand me, so he sort of made my life hell.

[ScreamingMeemie]

18. It wasn't horrid...it wasn't wonderful...it just was.

It was far better than what my poor MrG went through though. :hi:

[NewWaveChick1981]

19. Parts were great and parts weren't...

...Definitely a mixed bag.

[Bridget Burke]

20. Some good bits & some not so good bits.

Partly through events that were nobody's "fault."

And it's not as if any of my ancestors had 100% perfect childhoods, either.

[bicentennial_baby]

21. Nope

It was good... :)

[raccoon]

22. Yes.

My father died of alcoholism and I believe now that my mother was clinically depressed when I was a child. So the dynamics were still those of an alcoholic family.

I'm much happier now as a middle-aged adult. Thank goodness.

[bigwillq]

23. No (nt)

[Joe Fields]

24. I had a great childhood, and I am still having one!

[SteppingRazor]

25. Meh. Define unhappy...

I think this is such a subjective thing. My "unhappy" could be a positively glorious upbringing in the eyes of someone who had it worse than I did.

All in all, I think I had it pretty good. My parents were pretty well off, I went to good schools. If anything, the only unhappy parts of my life were self-induced.

[RetroLounge]

26. It made me who I am today, so it couldn't have been bad

It was a typical middle class suburban childhood.

No death, no alcoholism, no abuse, no poverty.

So yeah, it was okay...

You?

RL

[Guava Jelly]

27. Yeah sort of

Dirt poor an alcoholic Father who verbally abused my mother for years.
I was the only boy with 5 sisters..That sucked.
But I try not to dwell on the past!
What is done is done

[ThomCat]

28. Yes. And I have both the stories and scars to prove it.

[Blue Diadem]

29. I think it depends on what I choose to think about..

so sometimes it's happy and sometimes it's unhappy.

[Karenca]

30. Yes.

Bad, really bad.

[Jamastiene]

31. Yes and adulthood is looking like more of the same.

I have a rant about something, but I honestly do not feel like getting into it in your thread. It has to do with old southern money and young snots getting credit just because they come from that old money, while I do all the damn work. I may get kicked out of college for this one. I'm not going to do the project today if that little shit is going to get credit for work the advisor is expecting me to do. I'm completely pissed at my current situation at school right now.

DAMN, WHY CAN'T I WIN THE LOTTERY AND SAY GOODBYE TO THIS DISGUSTING RED STATE FILTH?

:rant:

:hi: Floogeldy. How are you doing today? Sorry to go off in my post, but I have no say in real life. :shrug:

[Karenina]

54. Maturity is realizing

that the rest of your life will be just like junior high. Frank Zappa

[Ellen Forradalom]

33. Yes and no

my family of origin had great strengths and weaknesses. There was a lot of love, learning and common sense, but also problems with drink and mood disorders.

[In_The_Wind]

34. Yes ~

I was warehoused with different aunts and uncles because my mom (Melba Faye Heneson Bishop) left me (at 18 months) with my alcoholic father. When my invalid Aunt Grace passed away (I was only 9, she was 39) I was shipped back to my father and my first stepmother ... I could continue my tale of woes but I won't because I know it could have been worse. :shrug: I always had a roof over my head ... we weren't poor. They just forgot I was around. :cry: I never heard from Melba Faye again.

[Blue Diadem]

35. .

:hug:

[u4ic]

44. Joan

:hug:

You are a marvelous woman.

[cobalt1999]

36. looks like I'm in the minority in this thread.

Happy childhood, no real traumas, lots of relatives around, loving but quirky parents (that I didn't fully appreciate until I was grown). We didn't have lots of money but we did a lot of camping, hiking, hunting, boating, fishing...what more could a young boy want.

To further put myself in the minority in this thread, I'm having a even happier adult life.

[ScreamingMeemie]

41. I don't know...you sound pretty much like a lot who are posting

here. My childhood was nothing Spectacular, as I posted, but it was. I am a really happy, well adjusted adult. :hi:

[Darth_Kitten]

37. Nasty teen years......

You too can give your children an unhappy life by marrying a confused, embarrassment of a drunk whose actions make you want to puke, but hey, I'm nearly 40 and over it. :eyes:

Sorry, I'm cranky. I love my Mom dearly but I've never understood her choice in men. :(

[shrike]

38. Childhood sucked

But adulthood's great.
Which is good in a way. I'm not nostalgic in the least. But I enjoy today, the moment, and am hopeful for the future.

[InvisibleTouch]

39. I think almost everyone did, to some degree.

(Those posting in this thread who had a happy childhood, more power to you! But you're definitely in the minority, I suspect.) It doesn't always have to be abuse or some outright horror story; in my case, I had well-meaning parents who simply lived in a whole different world than I did, and absolutely couldn't relate to me, nor I to them. I felt like I was in a constant battle to assert my own identity against them. That's true to this day. There were also external circumstances that made things difficult, and I did have some major traumas during my teen years, set against a background of being completely out of place among my "peers." What I needed most was to be left alone, and nobody got it. Now, however, I'm doing absolutely my own thing, and I still have an automatic aversive reflex to anyone telling me what to do. At the very least, my experiences taught me that no one knows what's right for me other than myself, and I don't feel bound by the expectations and opinions of others.

[miss_american_pie]

40. No, not really

It had its low points, but I wouldn't label it as unhappy.

[redqueen]

42. That's putting it mildly!

Fortunately I only remember bits of it. What I wouldn't give to forget it all.

[supernova]

43. A mix of good and bad

Right off the bat: I wasn't abused. I had a nice home, nice parents, nice siblings. We didn't mistreat each other. I didn't feel overly burdened by the expectations of my parents about school or what to do with my life.

Here's the down side: I had several illnesses (a couple of life-threatening situations) that made me feel very different and very alone. I didn't know how to express that or relate it to anyone in a way that they or I could understand. I didn't relate well to my peers at all. I thought they were all very frivolous and shallow to the point of not really wanting to be around them. I spent Jr and High School thinking I would have been entirely happy to skip right to college, both on a social and academic level.

I felt very wierd and very different most of the time, so much so that I felt more kinship with people and characters from fiction who are damaged in some way (usualy physically). The perfectly healthy hero never interested me so much as the hero who overcame his own obstacles and foibles. So while we didn't fight all the time, neither did I feel that I got the emotional support I needed.

All in all, parts if it weren't terrible, but NO WAY would I want to do it again. I still hope one day, that I can find the one thing that will make me say "It was all worth it. I'm glad things happened the way they did."

[u4ic]

45. Yes

I grew up with abuse in my home; since I was the youngest, I also got it from my siblings as well. I don't have a lot of childhood memories, but the happy ones that I do have involve either being with a couple of friends, the rare visits with a couple of uncles and an aunt who lived out of province, drawing or with pets/animals. Very few (if any) happy recollections with my family.

I always felt older than my peers; it wasn't necessarily my personality, but I learned to stay quiet and in the corner, if not hide.

It did spur me on to a lot of personal growth, however. Most of those issues are resolved.

I seem to be de-aging as the years go by...and I'm happier than I ever have been. :hi:

[supernova]

46. That's a good way to put it

"I seem to be de-aging as the years go by..."


I think so too. :-) I've learned to let a lot of it go over the years and just be happier in the moment.

I'm glad you are doing better, u4ic. :hug:

[u4ic]

67. Thanks, supernova

Sounds like you are, too. :hug:

[Ariana Celeste]

47. Good and bad.

My birthfather died before I was born. A fact that was never hidden from me- which in the longrun was better. My older brother died when I was 9. Somebody set my home on fire that same year- my mom and the man who raised me like I was his own got divorced that year. Had to move to an entirely different state and leave everything I knew behind around the same point of time- and ended up with an abusive step mother. Had some other bad experiences. Everything just seemed to keep getting worse. And I was treated like shit in school by students and officials. But I always had love and good times mixed into it all. And I wouldn't trade my childhood for anything.... it made me who I am today.

[Mutley]

49. A mix.

My Dad was in the Navy, and wasn't home much. Also, because of the Navy, we moved several times.

My parents had their issues, like most people, but it wasn't all bad. I do have a lot of good memories from childhood, too.

[ceile]

52. Yes and No

Yes because I'm clinically depressed and have been since I was about 7. And no, because I had great friends, family, played sports and did well in school. But I wouldn't go through it again for all the tea in China.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

53. Sometimes...

It wasn't unlike my adulthood in that respect.

[BreweryYardRat]

56. Nothing like being constantly tormented from 2nd-10th grade to fuck you up

And having an overprotective half-senile fool for a mother didn't help any.

[RevCheesehead]

57. I had an unhappy puberty.

Specifically, the hormonal changes brought about depression. It runs in the family, and back then, the best anyone could offer was "just deal with it, or try harder to pull yourself out of it." That, and allergies before the gift of Zyrtec, made me pretty miserable most of the time.

However, I focused all my energy into music, which led me into church work, then ordination. So, I guess it's all good.

[Floogeldy]

58. When I was a small child . . .

. . . my parents had a few heated arguments (I do not remember over what) and my dad CRIED. It really upset me and I begged my parents, "Please, don't get a divorce."

I'm probably not permanently damaged, that I know of.

[sendero]

59. Do you have to ask?

:)

[bicentennial_baby]

62. Wow....lots of unhappy former-kids here...

:o

Although I'm always in the minority...My parents are still married, after 32 years...As are Sniffa's...and Mrs. Sniffa's would be, had her father not died prematurely and suddenly. :shrug:

[MrSlayer]

63. No, quite the opposite.

I had a very good childhood, so good that it's been held over by popular demand for a few decades now.

[Nikia]

64. Yes

Which is part of the reason that I am so messed up.

[huskerlaw]

65. Parts were really bad

but I really can't complain. My parents did the best they could with some really crappy situations.

All of my sisters and I came through it basically unscathed, and that's what ultimately matters.

[Syncronaut Seven]

68. Um yea... you could say that.

Father wanted a good Catholic wife, mother was an activist who embarrassed him professionally. They spent 22 years mopping the floor with each other. Thru walls, glass, across overturned major appliances. I could fix drywall by 8. Used me, in particular, as a mind game weapon against each other during their battles. 8 moves by 12. By ten, mother would just call the cops when I defied her. I hate cops. By the time they divorced, I was already largely on my own and 15.

Both would beat me, mom mostly. The hot wheels(tm) tracks that she used left bleeding welts. Dad just used a belt, I was grateful for the belt.

Spent the next ten years trying to develop a code of conduct that was as far distant from that of my parents that I could. A lot of flashbacks, even today.

Fortunately I met a wonderful woman, with kids.

Ironically, Ten years ago I had to remove the step-daughter from the home and send her back to dad. Her immediate response? to call the cops, Yep, told them I struck her, told them that I regularly beat my wife. Yep. Charged me with aggravated assault (later busted down to harassment)??????

Of course their was no evidence, I've been committed to non violence for more than 30 years now. Still, in the face of my wife's denials, the police wrote, prominently, Mrs.xxx is CLEARLY PROTECTING Mr. xxx.

I had almost beaten the flashbacks.

I'm still married, same wonderful woman for nearly 20 years now. The step daughter is still alive, but barely. Hep-c, Pancreatitis, binge drinking every payday, just like her Bio-dad.

I lost a good job because of the arrest, then two more good ones because of the newly reborn PTSD. I stopped trying to hold a regular job back in "01.

I'm seeing a doc now, I get to re-live it all over again. I'm 44, My BP is killing me, so no, I didn't have a good childhood.

But thanks for asking.

[Evoman]

70. My dad is a smart, okay guy, but a cheating whore

who cheated on my mom a zilliion times, and impregnated 4 different women during their marriage. My mother is a great lady, whom I love with all my heart, but isn't super intelligent and has only ever had bad, dead-end jobs. I grew up extremely poor, in a pretty bad neighborhoood. When I was 8, I witnessed a stabbing, and robberies.

But you know what? Despite all of that, I was a really happy kid. I had some tough times, but they made me tougher. I learned to appreciate what I did have, and I had family and friends who loved me. Yeah, i missed a meal or two, but I was a genuinly happy kid. All of my sibling grew up to be good people, and done of us have ever abused alochol or drugs. We have all done well in our lives, and have good careers.

You can grow up in bad situations and still be happy. By all accounts, I should be fucked up. But I'm not...I love life, and I don't have any enemies. Life is what you make of it....just because you've had a terrible childhood, it doesn not mean you have to have a horrible adult life. If you know your self, and understand your scripting, you can change it.

You are not an abused child now. And thats the point.