I just gave $5 and some change to a homeless guy...

[BlueStorm]

so why do I feel so bothered by it?

Probably because of that "voice" in my head... that voice that would probably be something my dad would say if I told him of my good deed. It was that the man would probably use it on drugs or alcohol and that I should've just turned him down and save my money.

Anyways what happened was I was on my way home and was waiting at an intersection when I heard a knock on the door. I turned and saw an older, scraggly man with long grey hair. He was carrying a plastic bag and a bike tire. I rolled my window down and he asked me if I had some money so he could get something to eat. I fished around in my pocket while I debated in my head whether or not to give him the $5, I gave him my change and told him that I had to keep the $5 for gas, I guess I was hesitant for some reason because I have been ripped on by my dad about my money management. But I decided to give him the money, considering that I have a check and some change at home.

I know he might have used it for drugs or alcohol but he could also use it for what he told me he intended it for.

My dad is a materialistic freeper kind of guy. He gets on me about my money management because I do admit, I am not the greatest at it (an neither is he really but that's another story.) I can already hear him saying something to the effect: "Why did you give him that money when you could have used it to put some gas in my car?" (I am using his car as of now until I can get mine fixed.)

So why do I feel bothered? I know I did a good thing but somehow the materialistic side of my dad is rubbing off on me and I don't like it. I believe in charity and that it is good karma.

So what do you think?

Blue

[mduffy31]

1. I gotta be honest

I don't care if he uses it on drugs or alcohol. If I was in that situation I know that I would want to drink a lot to forget, and it wouldn't be with Ketel 1 or Stoli like I drink now. Everyday I thank god that I was born with a few trillion brain cells that are for the most part in working order and am able to hold down a good job. I don't know what the hell I would do if I couldn't.

[WindRavenX]

4. that's my attitude too

Sometimes, I would just want a beer or a joint too.

[silverlib]

2. you did good

There are old vets on the streets of Austin. I always give. I don't travel the major streets often. I never question how they spend it. I cannot act like they are invisible.

[amitten]

3. You did the right thing. All the money I've ever donated to the

less fortunate has come back to me within the week, unexpectedly, and usually with interest. :)

It's irrefutable proof to me that giving is the right thing to do (which I always felt, anyway).

It's never wrong to give. Someday in a time of need, you may hope that someone gives to you.

[Floogeldy]

5. You probably shouldn't have given more than a dollar.

A dollar bill is good.

[philosophie_en_rose]

6. Good for you.

Part of a giving a gift is to trust that the person is capable of making the best choice regarding it. You might not know how he used the money, but you do know that you gave him the opportunity to get a meal or something that he needed.

:thumbsup:

Plus, you gave him validation and respect worth more than $5.

[BlueStorm]

8. Yes, I am a poor person myself..

I am better off than he is, but I am on Social Security and I can barely make it myself. The $5 dollars that I gave him was the last of my check for the month. I did get my small annual check from the Department of Human Services that is only $42, plus I have some change here so I kinda figured I could sacrifice the $5. I believe in karma, deeply. That is why I would give to charity if I can. I always feel bad that I don't have money to give to charity, but even the simplest things, like helping a lady with her groceries is charity. It's like the Prophet Muhammed said, "Smiling at your fellow brother is charity." Kindness always returns threefold.

I am just sad that some of my dad's materialism is rubbing off on me. Yes I want nice things but I am not going to break my heart over them. My dad is somewhat hypocritical when it comes to money management. Just the other day he berated me about a CD I bought on Amazon. Yet today a package came for him that was an item he bought on the computer for his T-Bucket which personally, though I understand it is a hobby it is a finacial wastehole. At least at this time it is. My dad has filed for bankruptcy twice and has had two vehicles repossed.

So you can see how I feel.

Blue

[philosophie_en_rose]

11. You can't eat kindness...

but it still feeds the soul.

Sometimes eye contact or a small or a small gift like a can of cold soda makes a huge difference.

Don't let your dad get you down. You have a big heart, and sharing nurtures the soul. But also remember that you have to take care of yourself, as well. When you take care of your finances or raise your spirits with a CD, you have more money or energy to share with others.

[dorktv]

7. Helping others is the right thing to do. Your father should be ashamed

of himself.

[BlueStorm]

9. He didn't actually say anything, he's in bed right now...

but that probably would be something he would say.

Blue

[dorktv]

15. Well I would just not tell him, why bother upsetting the person?

[Whoa_Nelly]

10. It was an unusual event

You have the right to feel introspective.

Don't argue with yourself. You did it by choice. :hug:

[BlueStorm]

12. I am so glad that you all are supportive...

Thanks.

Blue

[Rowdyboy]

13. Your kindness will follow you....

Keep that in mind...

[windbreeze]

14. Once you do the good deed....

forget about it...you did what you felt you had too...once you handed him the money, it was literally out of your hands...It is up to him, to decide what he uses it for...and it's no concern of yours, the intent you gave with was honorable...(so don't tell dad, it's not a need to know for him) However, depending upon your dad's finances...perhaps you do need to keep gas in his car, if you are being allowed to use it, until you get yours fixed..that IS your responsibility...(maybe that's what is really bothering you) no offense meant...
wb

[Midlodemocrat]

16. Good for you. You're a kind soul.

Who cares what he spends it on?

[grasswire]

17. does your dad support you?

If not, and if you are an adult, it's none of his business what you do. Sounds to me as if he knows a little bit too much about what you do.

However, a good answer to him if he's critical of charity might be to tell him this: "Dad, I couldn't turn him down. I kept thinking how horrible it would be if you were on the street, like him, and nobody helped you."

[SeattleGirl]

18. I think you did a good thing.

As others have said, it doesn't matter what the man uses the money on. The important thing is that you reached out to someone who obviously had less than you, which I think says a lot about the content of your character.

:hug:

[onecent]

19. You know - you probably MADE A DIFFERENCE in someone's

life today. Whatever he did with the money. Whatever reason he is on the streets. We may never know how destitute we could become. You did a good thing.

What matters isn't always whether YOU win or lose..but how we play the game.