What should be done with mall farters?

[RedCloud]

A while back I was making last second purchases for my son at a huge mall and invariably some stranger would cut one while passing through a crowd...

Shouldn't this be a crinme or something?

I wouldn't bring this up except it happened too many times to be a coincidence and usually the suspect would have a determined cold look and a rush to their pace...

Just wondering if others have experienced this noxious activity and no it wasn't any of my guys...

[zonkers]

1. I'm guilty but its not my fault. Mall food = mall farts. Like a coward I

scampered away in a zig zag pattern, making it difficult to pin me down as the culprit.

[RedCloud]

3. Aha!

But I guess I shall forgive you. I welcome very breezy days for such moments.

[davsand]

2. Anonymous farting. Lots of names for that.

My personal favorite is flight attendants who are "crop dusting."



Laura

[zonkers]

5. I will steal that one.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

4. Concert farters are bad, too.

The last time I saw Antigone Rising play at Maxwell's (a bar in Hoboken, NJ) there was an incredibly noxious farter in the crowd. It was out of control. We all blamed it on the one visible man in the crowd. If I was him, I'd probably slink off, even if it wasn't me. He had the eyes of 100 lesbians burning into him.

[Crazy Dave]

7. Carpool farters too

:mad:

[davsand]

10. BUS or train farters are bad too.

Usually during rush hour--have you ever noticed????

I will add, however, that the bus or train farters are MUCH preferable to the nose pickers. There is nothing quite like seeing somebody diggin for brains (finger in nose up to the second knuckle!) when you can't get away.


Laura

[Crazy Dave]

6. I hate people that always blame it on the dog or the cat

That's just plain wrong man.

[leftofthedial]

8. he who smelt it . . .

I think you have a duty to protect yourself and your loved ones

you should preemptively crap all over anyone who looks like they might fart



oh, and take all their money and anything they bought.


we'll call it the bush mall doctrine.

[underpants]

9. Every Christmas I drop the bomb in The Gap

it's true. I have a 13 year streak going. That is just about the only time I go to the mall....truth be told that is the only reason I agree to go to the mall.

[KFC]

11. Elevator Farters

I know for a fact that some people in my office building do it on purpose for a laugh.

[mvd]

12. Locking

Bodily functions thread.

mvd
DU Moderator