I would like to discuss love.

[Writer]

Can we huddle together and have a chat?

:grouphug:

[datasuspect]

1. what do you want to know?

[Writer]

3. Tell me about the time you first fell in love...

And I'll tell you mine.

[datasuspect]

14. well, let's see

it was in 1990 or so. i hadn't really had much experience with women up to that point and was kind of awkward socially.

i was in my second year of college and met this young woman in one of my classes. the first time i met her, i think i asked her if she was sick or something, i really put my foot in my mouth and she seemed offended, but we started talking in spite of that.

at first, it was one of those "let's just be friends" deals, but we were spending more and more time together.

one evening i went over to her house to study and it was late, so she was going to let me sleep on the couch. i was asleep for about an hour and she came out into the living room and said "we need to talk."

at that point we blurted out our feelings for each other and "consummated" the thing.

long story short, we cohabitated, transfered together to UT Austin, set up housekeeping in a cheap apartment near Zilker Park, we both took a german class from this graduate student from a european country, became friends with her and her husband, and my girlfriend eventually ran off with her friend's (the german graduate student) husband while the female european graduate student was in europe.

[Writer]

19. Wow. That's intense.

Here's my story:

It was first grade in Maine. I was placed in this advanced reading class because I already knew how to read at that point. In that class was a kid named Sebastian.

I know that many say that one cannot love at such a young age, but there was mutual attraction. I recall my parents returning from Open House, claiming they had met his parents who told them, "My son can't stop talking about your daughter!" I think my parents would claim the same of me.

Odd, eh?

Unfortunately, at the end of that school year, I moved to Texas. I don't know what became of Sebastian.

[Broken_Hero]

2. okay, what about love? nt

[Writer]

4. Are you in love at the moment?

[Broken_Hero]

10. Yes, I am...:) nt

[bicentennial_baby]

5. what about it?

:)

[Writer]

In your opinion, is there a more divine feeling than love?

[bicentennial_baby]

13. Nope!

I'm deeply, deeply, crazily in love...and have been for well over a year...It increases in magnitude every day. I'm ecstatic. :)

:hug:

[ScreamingMeemie]

6. Okay. But it's way past my bedtime so I might be incoherent.

:grouphug:

[Writer]

7. Can love make you, at times, incoherent?

;)

[ScreamingMeemie]

9. At times, you bet...

:D

But tonight, my love has faded away into snore riddled oblivion...so there will be none of that type of incoherence tonight. :hi:

[IChing]

17. Love is not coherent or incoherent

Love is not limited to coherency but is intransit to emotions that gives to like and dislike.
Hate is the burden that love carries in it's lonely journey.

[wildhorses]

8. if not love then why?

the opposite of love is fear...

[Writer]

11. What if you feared loving someone...

because of the problems it may cause?

[WCGreen]

12. Then...

You would be lonely...

[wildhorses]

25. you can still have the feeling just choose to not show or act on it

love is a verb
an action word

and CalPeg is right the true opposite would be indifference and therefore inaction
fear is perhaps aligned with hate...

:shrug:

where are my boots? the shit is getting deep around here:P

[datasuspect]

33. but if we are talking about verbs

indifference is a noun. i guess the closest verb might be "to ignore."

plus, that guy i was locked up with in the pen had "love" and "hate" tattooed on each set of his knuckles.

he said it represented the duality of humanity.

[wildhorses]

38. okay

whatever he said man...cos he's da dope:headbang:

[datasuspect]

15. wouldn't the opposite be hate?

and is there not a thin line between the two?

[CaliforniaPeggy]

20. The opposite of love is not hate......

It is indifference.......

Love and hate are very closely related....

Both are strong emotions....

[datasuspect]

23. indifference

i wonder sometimes if i've been able to tolerate that more than i should have.

the one thing worse than that is being ignored in a relationship.

[wildhorses]

27. yes, CalPeg is right ...pleas see my post #25

it is upthread in reponse to another poster...

[CaliforniaPeggy]

29. My dear datasuspect.......

Isn't being ignored the same thing as indifference?

Someone who is indifferent to you would tend to ignore you.....

I'm sorry.......:hug:

[datasuspect]

37. that's what i am trying to figure out

you know, sometimes when two people are in the twilight of a relationship and cannot commit to dissolving their bond, the silence of indifference can be deafening. you can be around someone who at one time might have inspired great passion, but that flame over time gets extinguished, and the very real source of true human emotion gets ground down to a nub . . . in one respect, i've been in that situation where it's mutually consented to, where you become alien to each other, but still are around the person.

being outright ignored though, that's pretty rough.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

42. Sometimes it is difficult to make a clean break.......

It's just more comfortable to stick around........

But I agree......to be ignored outright......that just plain hurts... :hug:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

16. My dear Writer!

Talking about love suits me down to my toenails........

And you know......the first time I was in love.......was most likely with my husband.....

All the guys before him? Lust... I think, anyway......

But it was soooooo long ago, that I no longer really remember......

It is a grand and glorious thing........it can hurt you, too.

But for me, love is something that allows you to be the best person you can......

For the sake of your loved one.

:hug:

[Writer]

34. My dear CalPeg!

I have fallen in love so few times in my life, that I am still trying to figure out the difference between love, infatuation, and obsession. It can be confusing!

[CaliforniaPeggy]

43. So what is love?

It's when the happiness of the person you love is more important than your own happiness......

Your own happiness depends on the loved one's happiness!

And also, love equals respect! To truly love someone is to respect who they truly are......

That means you aren't trying to change them at all......You accept them and you respect them as is....warts and all!

These are, for me, the foundations of true and lasting love......

I strongly recommend the book "The Art of Loving" by Erich Fromm.......

It is outstanding, and discusses the many types of love......

Maternal, fraternal, sexual and so on.......

[sakabatou]

18. You know...

Even though I don't have that much experience with love, much less good experiences, I can still give advice for it. Weird.

So what specifically, if anything, do you want to talk about love?

[Writer]

24. Tell me if you think love is real, or if it's overcelebrated?

[sakabatou]

36. Both.

Anything else?

[RetroLounge]

21. Love? Sure, what can I tell you?

:shrug:

RL

[Writer]

30. Do you think that we mistake love as a sign of a monogamous

romance? Such as marriage?

[speedoo]

44. Since 50% of marriages end in divorce, and since many more..

fail, and just kind of continue to exist, that is definitely a mistake that is frequently made.

[RetroLounge]

45. I once thought Love, Marriage and Monogamy

were well suited for each other and led to happily ever after.

I was proven wrong.

So yes, we make that mistake...

RL

[leftofthedial]

22. The epic, heart-stopping, eternal love of my life

to which I dedicated myself for 30 years

turned out to be a lie.


what else do you want to know?

[CaliforniaPeggy]

26. ......

:hug:

[leftofthedial]

48. thanks Peggy!

:hug: back

[Writer]

31. Oh my!

Please accept this: :hug:

[leftofthedial]

49. thanks!

As they say in the part of Texas I'm not from . . .

Time to wipe and move on.

[wildhorses]

40. that sux but, know this...your love was NOT a lie

yours was pure, right

his on the other hand...well...karma BABY karma!!

[leftofthedial]

47. well, it was a her

and I wish her great karma

our daughters need all the happy they can get.


but I do wonder now what love is really.

But I'm a songwriter, so it's a really good thing!

[wildhorses]

50. oops, my bad...sorry

:blush:

and if I understand karma...then I am NOT talking about the BIG get even...it is just that until one learns from one's mistakes one will continue to receive the same problem...that is all I meant. I wish no one any ill will.

[leftofthedial]

52. well, maybe a *little* ill will wouldn't hurt . . .

:evilgrin:

now that I think about it.

[wildhorses]

54. now the truth comes out...

a little honest hostility never hurt anybody :hug:

[Floogeldy]

28. I feel love in the solar plexus, and it has always happened immediately.

A love at first sight thing. Corny. Maybe it is just me.

I have had relationships, some long-term, in which I have "grown to love" the person, but it was never the kind of love that struck me like lightning. The kind that strikes you quickly is strong Ju Ju but for real. Do not follow it until you are older and wiser.

Maybe it is just me.

[u4ic]

32. Yes, we can

:grouphug:

[mduffy31]

35. Love is overrated

And doesn't exist.













can't tell I'm bitter at all can you

[speedoo]

39. Love has to be nurtured.

I'm talking about mutual love, as in a marriage for example.

Unfortunately it takes a long time for some to know that.:hi:

[Writer]

41. There no doubt about that.

Whew... 5 years = marathon.

[speedoo]

46. I think love can sustain itself for five years.

There is a lot that two people typically do in that period of time.... learning about one another, primarily.... that makes love self-sustaining.

But there comes a time in every relationship where the hard work of nurturing becomes necessary. Sometimes it becomes necessary in much less than five years.... much less frequently, it won't be necessary until later.

[BarenakedLady]

51. Ok, sure

:loveya:

[Mutley]

53. Love is a tricky little bugger.

Sometimes it kicks you in the ass and you like it.

Other times it kicks you in the ass and you want to curl up and die.

I'm getting to think it's just safer to run away.

[Hugin]

55. Are you saying love is a many splintered thing?

I've heard the same.