My good friend's husband just died. Only sick for 3 weeks.

[CTyankee]

I am in shock, as is she. Family is around her now. They decided to take him off the ventilator last night. 3 weeks ago he had gone to the doctor for a checkup. A blood test had shown low platelet count and he was put in the hospital immediately. He was diagnosed with acute leukemia. Brain bleed and stroke, organ failures ensued after one round of chemo. He was put on a ventilator and heavily sedated a week ago.

It seems like only a moment ago I was chatting with him at a party. Now he's gone. It was breathtaking in his swift decline.

This is a sad day. Thanks for listening...

[AutumnMist]

1. I Am So Sorry

If there is anything that I can do, please drop me a line. Its rough when we lose someone close to us. Especially when its swift. You and your friends family are in my best thoughts for comfort. :hug:

[CTyankee]

4. Thanks. I'm just worried for my friend now

altho I know she's strong.

If ever I saw the wisdom of the saying "Live this day as if it were your last" it is now!

[MrCoffee]

2. How awful. Best wishes for you and his family.

[Midlodemocrat]

3. I'm so very, very sorry for your loss.

You and your friend are in my thoughts and prayers.

I know this is no comfort at a time like this, but at least he didn't suffer. My SIL did suffer before she died and it was heart wrenching.

:hug:

[CTyankee]

5. You are right. If they suffer it is so much more painful for all.

A peaceful, gentle death is all you can really hope for, for yourself as well as your loved ones.

[Midlodemocrat]

7. I have to tell you something.

My mom passed in her sleep, suddenly. It was horrific for me because we were extremely close and I miss her every day.

My dad passed two years later. It was expected. It was just as painful minus the shock of the death because we knew it was coming.

Loss is terrible in any form. The only thing we can comfort ourselves with is that our loved ones didn't suffer. Somehow, it makes our loss easier to bear. But it is still a terrible loss and I am so very sorry for your friend.

You are a good person to help her. Many others wouldn't do so.

All us CT yankees come from pretty good stock, eh?

:hug:

[CTyankee]

16. Well, I am originally a Texan but now consider myself a CT Yankee

So I have adopted you!

Yes, you are right that keeping loved ones from suffering is something that you can do to help them. I know it helped my mother as I guided the docs at her bedside so that she died a peaceful, gentle death at age 94.

I am so sorry that your mom passed away so suddenly. It happened to the husband of another friend of mine and was a horrible shock.

3 weeks is bad but an overnight death is awful, what a shock. With this friend, the 3 weeks were just a nightmare of day in, day out not knowing what to expect. One day a brain bleed and a stroke, the next day organ failure, then intubation and morphine.

Death in America is such a medicalized thing. I wonder about that...

[Shine]

6. Wow, I'm so sorry to hear this news.

My best good wishes for Peace and Comfort to the family. No soft landing for something like that. Whew! A potent reminder to the ephemeral nature of our lives....
:hug:

[bigwillq]

8. That is so sad.

Give my best to your friend and her family.

What a tragedy. :hug:

[CTyankee]

9. Thanks. I know you are in CT. His funeral is in Guilford this Saturday

What a guy. He had a great obit in today's Register.

[bigwillq]

11. I will have to look at the obit.

I usually read the obits but didn't today. I was off work today and didn't do my usual morning routine.

[u4ic]

10. Condolences, CTyankee

:hug:

[NC_Nurse]

12. Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that!

May he rest in peace and I hope your friend has lots of love and support. Sounds like you are very supportive, that will help a lot.
:hug:

[graywarrior]

13. Man, that is a shocker. Sorry to hear that.

[judaspriestess]

14. so sorry

my godmother had a year long bout with cancer and it was brutal in the end. My heart goes out to your friend.

[CTyankee]

21. What a difficult thing to go through!

You have my deepest sympathy. Did your godmother have painkillers to help her? I can't imagine going thru such torture without relief from pain...

[CaliforniaPeggy]

15. My dear CTyankee........

My deepest condolences to you and your good friend on this terrible loss...

I'm so sorry.......:hug:

[CTyankee]

17. Oh, Peggy, what a nice friend you are.

I thank you so much. You helped counsel me on my blood pressure problem a few months ago. I am glad to report that I have sought out a cardiologist (even tho I was initially against it) and we are working together on getting my b.p. down with drugs he is prescribing. I think we're getting there.

Hope you are well and happy, CA Peggy!

[CaliforniaPeggy]

19. I am so happy to hear about your good health!

And I am well and happy myself......thanks!

How sweet of you to remind me of my little contribution.... :hug:

[CTyankee]

20. Well, I follow your posts and you are a dear to so many here at DU

It is lovely to have you among us.

Blessings!

[speedoo]

18. I'm very sorry.

Best wishes to you and to your friend's family.:grouphug:

[Eurobabe]

22. Yikes, that is scary. So sorry for your friend...

Peace, and take care. -48

[RevCheesehead]

23. I am so very, very sorry.

If it's any consolation, at least he didn't suffer long. But still, the shock is tremendous grief for the family and all his friends.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your friend's family. :hug:

[ikojo]

24. I am so sorry for your friend's loss and your

loss.

May his memory be for a blessing to all who mourn.

[Radio_Lady]

25. This life is a challenge -- how old was this man? Did he leave children?

Just continue to be a good friend. I can only imagine the terrible feeling of loss.

I don't know much about leukemia, but it seems as if this was quite fast and unexpected, but hopefully painless.

[CTyankee]

26. He was just 65 and, I thought, the picture of health

Tall, muscular, rangy guy, which belied the fact that he had a degreee in French from Yale! Big motorcycle guy, environmentalist, supporter of women's rights.

Had 2 grown sons, several grandchildren and 2 stepkids. This was the second marriage of both him and my friend. They had 17 wonderful years together.

He had a living will which was helpful to the family. It certainly helped me with my mother. It is a mercy when you can fulfill the wish of your loved one and not have any horrible family fights over end of life issues.