I want to start a noise war with the bastards in the apartment below me...

[ghostsofgiants]

I live in the upstairs apartment of a house, and the people living in the basement apartment are really fucking noisy. Who wants to buy me a really big bass amp so I can out-noise them and then some? Also appreciated would be a nice distortion/overdrive pedal. (I've decided to start typing like Yoda, apparently.) Make cheques payable to Jonathan "Complete Bastard" Kennedy. :evilgrin:

[greatauntoftriplets]

1. I live in a building constructed like a fortress....

:D

Sorry, cannot offer any good advice since it is damn quiet here.

[petronius]

2. Forget the noise...

Loosen the fittings that hold your toilet to the floor, and give it a good twist until the wax ring breaks. Clamp it back down, and every time you flush you'll get to wonder if this is the flush that brings their ceiling down on their head...

[ghostsofgiants]

3. I like the way you think!

:D

[LeftyMom]

4. The problem with that

is wondering if this is the flush that lands his bare ass in their apartment. :scared:

[petronius]

9. Perhaps, but in my experience all the failure occurs beneath the floor...

You do indicate a potential defect in my plan, however...

[ghostsofgiants]

11. I can get up, step aside, and THEN flush.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

5. I had a noise party once.

My ex and I lived in an upper fourplex above neighbors who constantly played loud music late at night, even though we asked them over and over to turn it down. Finally, after we'd made arrangements to move, we decided to get even. We invited a bunch of friends over and asked each one to bring the noisiest thing they had. So, we wound up with -- among other things -- a bagpipe, a trombone, a power saw cutting tin, a bowling ball rolling down the hall, and modern opera on the stereo at full volume, all at once. Naturally, the neighbors complained. We said, tough shit.

[SeattleGirl]

6. ROFL!!!!

Now THAT'S a party! :rofl:

[Ptah]

7. What?......WHAT????

[flvegan]

8. Remember, bass is non-directional

Put the speakers on the floor, crank up the low end of the equalizer, hit the "Loudness" button if you have one, and insert a good disc.

I recommend the "Techmaster PEB" test CD. In a pinch, the Beastie Boys' "Brass Monkey" has a good, solid bassline...

[ghostsofgiants]

10. I have some good bass-heavy music...

But my roommate is in bed at the moment, so the noise war can't start right now.

As soon as I get my new amp though, I'll be wailing on my bass every time the bastards get noisy.

[Generic Brad]

12. Have you considered taking up marching?

It's great exercise! Plus, it really pisses of the downstairs neighbors.

[billyskank]

13. That sounds like a noble cause to me

:D

[Omphaloskepsis]

14. Do they have a circuit breaker you could flip..?

If the panel is accessible I would break in and kill their power, I'm a dick like that.

[pinniped]

15. I want to give the F'ers next door some music lessons.

These asswipes also make a lot of noise.

I want to put speakers in the walls to get their music education started.