Parents, can I get a little advice?

[LeftyMom]

LeftyKid is 5 1/2. He finally got the potty thing down right around his fourth birthday, but he's always had some problem with #2 accidents. I don't know if the problem is getting worse or just not getting any better, but it seems like he's entirely too old to be crapping his pants with any frequency. He hasn't has a #1 accident in as long as I can remember, excepting one case in his father's car where he couldn't find him a bathroom in time.

Has anybody else gone through this with thier child? Is there something I can do to address it or is it just something he's taking longer to outgrow than most kids?

[bridgit]

1. home environ stable, wholesome?

maybe he just forgot for a minute, that happens, if i don't get hubby to get me to a potty i feel like i'll be right there with him sometimes

[LeftyMom]

2. Yep. He's a pretty happy kid.

The only real trauma he's had in the past year was his Dad moving out last November (they still see eachother a few times a week and he's adjusted well) and then us moving six months or so ago, which was a bit harder on him but not something he's still bothered about.

[bridgit]

4. whelp, like i was saying...when you gotta go you gotta go...

for the LeftyKid :hug:

[Shine]

3. Every kid is on their own schedule. Trust he'll work it out on his own.

I thought I was gonna have the oldest kid known to womankind who wasn't fully potty trained, so I can totally relate to your predicament. I've soooo been there, LM, believe me.

Barring any physical problems, he'll start using the toilet for #2 when he's good and ready. As you know, this a an important developmental milestone for them in which they get to claim ownership and responsibility for their own bodies. You can't exactly force that awareness.

BUT, you can enroll his support by encouraging him and setting up some sort of mutually agreed upon award system...i.e, one week without accidents and he gets some sort of special treat. Something like that.

In that way you're working in partnership with him, rather than you coming on as the big heavy parental unit telling him what to do and/or making him wrong for his mistakes. He's only gonna resist that energy and HOLD ON and release when HE wants to, both literally and figuratively.

Relax, you'll both get through this time just fine. We ALL figure it out, eventually. :hug:

[reyd reid reed]

5. #2 son

went through this for a while. I finally noticed that it happened with more frequency when he was upset or worried about something, even if he didn't vocalize his concerns. Any change in schedule would undo him.

The way I finally solved it was to take him to the store and so he could pick his own underwear and pay for it himself at the cash register. Maybe it was the proprietary thing, but he didn't want 'em to get dirty.

Every kid's different, though.

:shrug:

[Whoa_Nelly]

6. It could be medical or it could be a control issue

Or, it could have originally been a control issue that has now become a medical problem.

Would first get it ruled out as not being medical. Better to get that looked into ASAP in case this continues into the time he enters school full-time. It's called encopresis for children who have stool accidents after age four.
http://www.myotonicdystrophy.org/Encopresis.htm

and another good site:
http://www.keepkidshealthy.com/WELCOME/conditions/encopresis.html

And here's a forum for parents regarding encopresis:
http://pub48.bravenet.com/forum/4097914357


When children over age 5 have this problem, it becomes magnified for them no matter how much you do to try and not make them feel uncomfortable. It's because children of that age group are very ego-centric, and are sure everyone is aware of all that happens to them.
There is a really good storybook for your child about this that can help open up discussion with your child:
http://www.amazon.com/Clouds-Clocks-Story-Children-Soil/dp/0945354150

[LeftyMom]

9. It doesn't appear to be encoperesis

He doesn't have any sort of GI issues either way, he just doesn't really seem to be aware that he's passing a BM until he starts to do so.

[Whoa_Nelly]

12. If you read about encopresis, one of the symptoms is

that the child loses sensation/the signal that he is going to have a bowel movement.

http://www.kidshealth.org/PageManager.jsp?dn=MCH&lic=132&ps=107&cat_id=137&article_set=25477
<snip>
The child can't prevent the soiling - nor does he or she have any idea it's happening - because the nerves aren't sending the signals that regulate defecation.

[SoCalDem]

7. Get him to the pediatrician..fast

My friend little guy had a similar issue, and it turned out to be a colitis issue for him.. he was put on meds and she watched his diet closely and the problem went away.. At that age they are very prone to teasing by other kids and if anyone "found out", he might be teased mercilessly..


at least have the pediatrician check him out first.. You might even talk to the pediatrician (not in your kid's presence, so he's not embarrassed) and let the doctor bring it up with him..

[mzteris]

8. My nephew had this problem

- it turned out to be a food allergy. (I'm thinking it was green beans, but I'm not positive. It was about 25 years ago so..... )

[LeftyMom]

10. Hmmm, maybe I'll try a food diary to see if there's a pattern of triggers

I hadn't really thought of that, but he does have a lot of allergies.

[SmokingJacket]

11. I had the *exact* same thing with my son.

It's just a thing with some boys, though not many people will talk about it (and I almost never hear it about girls, though). I finally decided he just didn't like to take time off from whatever he was doing to use the toilet, so he'd hold it to the point that it was painful to go -- a vicious circle. It wasn't any kind of major psychological hangup or anything.

Kindergarten finally got him to use the toilet consistently -- he didn't want to have an accident in front of his class.

He's a smart, happy, well-adjusted kid otherwise -- with a definite tendency to become wrapped up in his latest project or obsession.

It drove me NUTS at the time, though, so I know what you're feeling.

[Schema Thing]

13. I STILL do that. It's ADD, coupled with delusions of grandeur,

I simply can't be bothered with such trivial matters as finding and utilizing a washroom (thereby taking precious time away from saving the world) for something as mundane as urination.

[Katina]

14. this may sound harsh but here goes.

if he is still crapping in his pants at 5 1/2, he is using it as a control thing because he is upset over his dad moving out and then having to move himself.
Are you "changing" him right away? If so, STOP doing it. If he craps his pants, he needs to know where his clean pants are and he needs to know that he will have to clean up the "mess" himself...not mom. The next time he craps his pants, point him to his underwear drawer and tell him to solve the problem. If he doesn't, he will get a rash from the crap that will drive him crazy (an unfortunately, you as well) but you can't "fix" it for him or he will continue to manipulate you. This sounds like I think he's bad or something, but I don't. I think he is a little boy craving to go back to his "baby years" when he thought everything was perfect. He seems to think if he behaves like a 2 year old, everything will be ok again. He needs to know that crapping in his pants has no bearing on any of that, and that the only thing it will accomplish is a diaper rash.
Good luck..you have my sympathy.