Have you ever had any luck with personal ads?

[yurbud]

Poll question: Have you ever had any luck with personal ads?

I have done it off and on for several years, but I'd be interested in people's stories as well as poll results.

I'll save mine for a bit later so I don't skew the results.

[Deja Q]

1. Nope. They're worse than bars too.

People can lie in their personal ads. (I don't, but that's also why I don't get any responses and haven't in the 10+ years I've been using them.)

[Crazy Dave]

4. HT my friend

I've really never seen much difference in whether people met eachother in a bar, at a church, co-workers, through friends, etc. A person can be deceptive even face to face. I've personally known people who put on an act for months, even years to win someone over. Then after the marriage, maybe a kid, the abuse, lies, alcoholism and other true colors began to show their ugly head. One even resulted in murder.

[yurbud]

8. that might not be an act. A friend of mine was like that when he

would transition from dating to long term relationship--he seemed to switch to autopilot based on his fucked up childhood.

[yurbud]

7. what kind of lies do guys tell? I know the ones women do

they lie about their age by up to 20 years and their weight by up to 200 pounds.

[SOteric]

14. Men lie about

• How much they drink
• How much they smoke
• What they do for a living
• How much money they make
• Their weight and level of fitness
• Whether they're married or involved
• Whether they have children
• Their level of interest in a commitment (or perhaps their interest in just a 'booty call is a better way to say that)
• Whether they've got their own hair
  
  
  
  Gender is no indicator of whether people will be insecure and vain. It comes in all shapes, sizes and varieties.
  
  :hi:

[yurbud]

19. I wrote a couple of totally fake ads complete with phony pics

One of them said I was an attorney for celebrity child molesters and I wanted a woman who would be comatose when we had sex and not say much the rest of the time either. It got a ton of responses, including one extreme hottie who I exchanged a couple of emails with before I accidentally became too nice and she blew me off.

[Missy Vixen]

24. Let me see

In the post above this one, you're angry because you say a woman lied in her response, but here

>One of them said I was an attorney for celebrity child molesters and I wanted a woman who would be comatose when we had sex and not say much the rest of the time either.<

you're being less than truthful, but that's okay?

Color me confused.
Julie

[yurbud]

26. it was an experiment. my honest ads weren't getting responses, so I

wanted to see what would happen if a wealthy asshole placed an ad. That fake person did a lot better.

[SOteric]

32. Billyskank recently summed up

something I have long held as true, and one possible interpretation of the results of your social experiment.

To wit: People may hate finding out they've been lied to, but most people have no real desire to be told the truth.

Think about it, even these internet chat boards show this. Those who tell the unvarnished truth are amoung the least popular posters, and those adept at a kind of social duplicity are amoung the most popular.

Deep down they may not believe that you're a wealthy asshole, but they enjoy the illusion and damned if they want it destroyed.

:hi:

[yurbud]

37. People often lie about what they want dating too...

Girls will often express their criteria in nicer terms than what they actually do, particularly about money and secondarily looks, or seek something else all together.

Guys are the opposite. Most guys claim to be very tight about what they will accept in terms of looks and how much "high maintenance" behavior they will accept.

If you asked me and one of my best friends what our comfort zone for looks is, you would think I would be willing to go out with plainer girls than him. In reality, he will go out with girls a couple of steps beyond my boundary and I just say honestly what it is (he has gone with some girls much hotter than any I have dated too).

I know that sounds really shallow, but if I was just looking for looks, I'd be hooked up by now. It's hard to find someone I have enough in common with and that I find attractive (and that isn't insane).

[Dangerously Amused]

43. You fucker, that was ME.

And I blew you off when I caught on to your little game. Celebrity child molester attorney my ass!


:mad:

[taterguy]

2. Lurked a long time, finally found an ad to respond to

Began exchanging emails immediately
Met in a park with our dogs a couple days later
Moved in together six months after that
Got married two years after our initial email exchange
Best decision I ever made

[Crazy Dave]

3. That's a great story n/t

:)

[Roon]

5. I have met a couple of nice people using personals

but nothing more than that. Of course, this was before I assumed a life of celibacy. Now I have no use for personal ads.

[yurbud]

9. they should have a special section for asexuals: M seeking N

No one.

It would be a short ad though: "I would not like anyone."

[La Lioness Priyanka]

6. i think they are great

[yurbud]

10. why, are you a hottie patottie who gets a lot of free dinners?

[La Lioness Priyanka]

11. because i have met many interesting people online

some for dating, some who i am now friends with

my current gf i met on friendster

[NewWaveChick1981]

12. Many years ago, before the Internets, I placed a personal ad in

a local progressive newspaper. This was after my first bf and I broke up and before I started dating Hubby, so it was late 1985. I just wanted to find someone to go out with who was nice and down-to-earth. I got quite a few mail responses (probably 35-40) to my ad (some with dirty pictures too :P even though the ad was not of that nature). I went out with two guys from the ad respondees, and both of them were duds. One guy just wanted to talk about his ex-girlfriend the whole time, and the other was obsessive/compulsive AND manic/depressive. :yoiks: Those were the "good" responses that I weeded out of the bad ones. I gave that up in a big hurry. :(

[SOteric]

13. I've never used a personal ad,

but I've several close friends who have at various points, and with very mixed success. Some find them quite fun and others find them an endless source of irritation. So I guess like everything else, your mileage may vary.

[Arger68]

15. If online personals count,

I met me wife online. Our first anniversary is Friday.

[yurbud]

18. are there any kind besides online? the print ones without photos are too

much of a crapshoot.

[billyskank]

16. I'm sure I would have no luck whatsoever

[Leo 9]

17. plentyoffish.com is free, and I've met girls through it.

http://www.plentyoffish.com/

It's the best free site, in my opinion.

[yurbud]

20. I'll check it out, thanks

[Leo 9]

45. You're welcome!

:)

[Missy Vixen]

21. I met my husband through a personal ad

I ran three different ads over a year's time and hit pay dirt with the last one. Personal ads require a certain amount of determination. You'll meet or talk with a wide variety of people, and most will be someone you're probably not interested in.

It also helped that by that point, my "shopping list" had been narrowed to only the things I knew I could never live without.

Julie

[yurbud]

29. yeah, as you get older, you figure out that list pretty well...

[HEyHEY]

22. If by "luck" you mean crabs.. yes

I kid....

it was the clap

[Richardo]

25. .

;-)

[yurbud]

27. and your kids came out as fur covered albinos

[scarlet_owl]

23. Lots of luck.

I met my husband on an online personal ad.

[fudge stripe cookays]

28. reprehensor and I have been happily married for 6 years.. ..

We met online in 1998 through personalpossibilities.com. They're not around anymore, but we are! :D

[CatholicEdHead]

30. Good luck in the end

It took over 3 years but I think I have found the one online.

[Bucky]

31. Do you mean as in sex?

[yurbud]

40. Well, I was thinking of relationship. Sexwise...I had a girl offer before

we even met. She didn't have a photo posted, so her spiel hooked me. I actually did the stupidest thing and gave her my home address. When she showed up, I took her out to dinner, came home, and shook her hand at my door and closed it with her on the other side.

I'd probably be dead by now of a disease or eaten by her if I let her in.

[sendero]

33. Dating...

... is dating, the procedures for meeting folks online are different, but just common sense.

Sure, some will lie. I went through this ten years ago and am now married to an incredible woman I met online (we've been together 9 years).

Forget lies. No one ever built an LTR on lies. When you get a response, exchange a few emails. If s/he can do that without sounding insane, set up a phone call. Talk several times over the course of a couple weeks. This is the crucial stage - if there is to be a connection you will make it here.

Then comes the white-knuckle part - the meeting. If both parties were honest and not delusional in their descriptions of their physical selves, this will be fine. I have met women who were not honest. But, in a bar you will meet people who are not honest, just about things other than their weight or somesuch. No matter how or where you meet someone, you have to be able to spot a liar/player/whatever.

When I was "looking", I dated several women from meatspace - none of them turned out like this one did :)

[VeggieTart]

34. I met my boyfriend through an ad he ran

I just don't believe in "soul mates," which is why I answered the way I did.

[XemaSab]

35. My friend has met a BUNCH of guys through personals

and one of them has turned out to be fun but flaky and the other two were creeps. :P

[yurbud]

39. I was probably one or all of those.

[Schema Thing]

48. So three men make a bunch, eh?

Kinda like broccoli B-)

[Orsino]

36. Ten years of match.com marriage...

...since she picked me off a menu in '95.

Bliss.

[yurbud]

38. does she have a sister?

[Orsino]

44. Heh.

Yes. Unfortunately, a sister who has had incredibly rotten luck with such services.

[yurbud]

49. post a pic if she's still got some eggs in her basket

[REP]

41. Placed An Ad 14+ Years Ago; Still With Lucky Caller #2

I was terribly embarassed about placing the ad, so of course it was the Ad O'The Week and was run quarter page and read on the radio for two weeks. I got over 200 hundred responses before I stopped checking the voicemailbox. Caller #1 had kids (despite my ad specifying no parents, creeps or Republicans) and Caller #2 ... well, our first date lasted four days and we really haven't been apart since meeting. Just celebrated our 14th anniversary last month.

[MnFats]

42. I have a friend who swears by them. she is very selective...

...phone conversation, meet for coffee before anything.
...she swears this works if one reads the ad carefully.
...at least a couple have ended in great sex, she says.

[kwassa]

46. My experience was bizarre

the whole personal ad thing was a little played out by the time I got involved.

I wrote two ads in completely different styles for different publications. One, pretty normal, for the LA Times, the other, more stylish and detailed for the LA Weekly. As if I was two different people.

The same woman answered both ads, and she was almost the only one who answered. She was Japanese, and I think she was looking for an American husband, in retrospect. There was no chemistry at first sight, she certainly didn't like me. She smoked like chimney, too, a deal-buster from my side of things.

but I could never figure out why she answered two such different ads .... unless she was answering ALL the ads.

on the other hand, I met my wife on the Internet, and we have been together 11 years. No personal ad involved, though.

[yurbud]

51. I had a friend I bugged to get online for months. Whe he finally did...

he met his wife in an AOL chatroom within two weeks.

[jakefrep]

47. I haven't had any luck....

...I've been stood up a couple of times from online personal ads.

[Ivan Sputnik]

50. Good luck here

I met my wife though a personal ad. Her brother met his wife the same way.