Post only the punch line of your favorite joke.

[ohiosmith]

e.g. "By the way Don, how many is a brazillion?"

[mikeytherat]

1. "Liquor? I don't even know her!"

mikey_the_rat

[johnnie]

2. I can see your house from here.

[bif]

3. So they don't leave trails like slugs.

[KFC]

4. "Awful"

German response to the killer joke.

[Blue-Jay]

5. "Of course I did. How do you think THIS shit got started?"

or


"The Aristocrats!"

[evlbstrd]

6. You say that now,

but try chewing a child the next time you get car-sick.

[CBGLuthier]

7. to hell with the small change

Hit the dollar! Hit the dollar! Hit the dollar!

[Bunny]

8. The Aristocrats!

Actually, that's not my favorite joke, but it's the only punch line I can think of right now.

[latebloomer]

70. That's the line I thought of!

because that movie was a scream!

[av8rdave]

9. Amputate? You give it two week, it fall off by itself!

[Road Scholar]

10. He didn't die but he didn't have a headache for 20 years.

[Dangerously Amused]

11. Men.

[MrScorpio]

12. You're it

[Heidi]

13. He stays up all night, wondering where there is a dog. (nt)

[taterguy]

14. What's this "we" shit white man?

[meegbear]

15. Rectum? Almost killed him.

[Guy Fawkes]

16. and after I was done with him,

he went on to become the President of the United States!

[Katina]

17. I got a f*ck for a duck....

a duck for a f*ck, $10 bucks for a f*ck, and I've still got the f*cking duck.

[Rambis]

18. put down your weapons, your surrounded by armed bastards!

Not really a punch line but I have been dying to use it all day.
From Life on Mars BBC America

[lizziegrace]

19. It's doesn't matter. They won't let us in the grocery store either.

[av8rdave]

24. That's one of my all time favorites

[asthmaticeog]

34. OK - what's the setup on that?

I have a feeling I might like this joke.

[av8rdave]

37. The version I know is this

There are three couples who want to join this really strict church.

They all met with the minister, who told them they would first have to pass a test of devotion before they could join - they would have to abstain from sex for a month.

A month later, the first couple, retirees in their early 70s, came into the minister's office. "How did you do, folks?" he asked. "No problem," said the husband. "We abstained." "Welcome to the church," said the minster. "We'll see you at the service tomorrow."

Later in the day, the second couple, 40-somethings, showed up. When the minister asked how they did, the husband said, "we're really proud of ourselves. That got pretty difficult to go without after a couple of weeks, bit it was important to us, so we abstained." "I'm proud of you too," said the minister. "Welcome to the church, and we'll see you tomorrow."

Around quitting time, the third couple came in. They were newlyweds in their early 20s. The minister asked how it went, and the husband said, "well, we did pretty well for the first couple of weeks. But I have to be honest with you, Pastor. After going without for that long, the missus here bent over to get something out of the freezer. I took one look at that, and I was all over her. I couldn't help it."

The minister said, "you do realize you won't be welcome in our church."

The husband replied "We won't be welcome in the grocery store anymore either!"

[asthmaticeog]

39. NICE!

:applause:

[lizziegrace]

56. Glad you liked it

It's been one of my favorites for years.
:)

[rocktivity]

20. Rub it, and you'll get a suitcase.

:P
rocknation

[southpaw]

21. "Where the fuck did all these Indians come from?"

[ChickMagic]

22. So tell me,

Two Dogs Fucking, why do you ask?

[RedStateShame]

23. "Have you ever seen a bulldog eat mayonnaise?"

[TrogL]

25. Better Nate than lever

[dolo amber]

26. Fuck them? Out of what?

[bbernardini]

27. Arrrr, and it's drivin' me nuts!

[bbernardini]

28. "No, it's a hickory daquiri, Doc!"

[dback]

29. "Death! ...By bunga-bunga!"

Martin Mull does a variation on this in "The Aristocrats."

[bbernardini]

30. "Crosby Stills Nashua Young."

[libodem]

31. I'm sorry son. I'm not your father. I'm your mother.....

the Bishop's your father.

[Liberalynn]

32. "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"

[asthmaticeog]

33. "No, you're not getting it. I said 'Minnie's fucking Goofy.'"

[Ravenseye]

35. You got any duck food?

[Aristus]

36. "So the conductor shook the concert master warmly by the hand

and said: "You're right, sir. There IS nothing more Wagnerian than a diminished minor chord!"

[BrotherBuzz]

38. But this one is eating my popcorn!

[Ohio Joe]

40. "Just a little bit at first" - nt

[ironflange]

41. "Ya goddamn frog, this is the last time I'm showing you how to do this!"

[otherlander]

42. "Pinnochio?"

[SteppingRazor]

43. "Hey, do you think I wished for a 10-inch pianist?"

[Crabby Appleton]

44. well a nun has hope in her soul...

[billyskank]

45. Shark infested custard.

[BarenakedLady]

46. "Mooooo"

:rofl:

[ohiosmith]

47. Brilliant. One of the all time greats.

[trof]

48. "So the butler stuck his d*ck in the mashed potatos."

According to the late humorist H. Allen Smith (look him up) that's the punchline to "the funniest joke in the world".

The only trouble is, the rest of the joke has been lost to the ages.
Nobody knows what the beginning is.
Just the punch line.

H. Allen also said that all "dirty" jokes originate in Valdosta, Georgia.
Don't ask me how he knew, but if he said it, I believe it.
;-)

[Crabby Appleton]

49. because Thursday is your day in the barrel

[ohiosmith]

50. :

:rofl:

[sakabatou]

51. Unfortunately my joke is physical

[momophile]

52. "Where is the bathroom at, a**hole?"

[sarge43]

53. Then, the Englishman shot her. n/t

[Oeditpus Rex]

54. 'He still flies, but he will no longer reproduce'

[yellowdogintexas]

55. abscess makes the fart go Honda nt

[UncleSepp]

74. OK, I have got to know the lead up to that one

I love those kind of jokes!

[VelmaD]

57. a naughty frog

*snort*

[leftofthedial]

58. "It could happen!"

[Evoman]

59. You had a talk with me about Santa, and you had a talk with me about

the Easter Bunny, but if you tell me people don't fuck, I'm going to kill myself.

[Zavulon]

60. "No, you don't get it. Chunks is my dog."

[Hand]

61. "Okay... Death by wonga wonga!"

ON EDIT: Hmm, seems to be a variant on "Death by bunga bunga."

[Hand]

62. "Sokarov yourself! You're the one who brought her here!" nt

[El Fuego]

63. "No, I'm a FRAYED KNOT!"

[Ron Green]

64. "You're gonna have to point it out, Lady, all these Japanese cars look

the same to me."

[mongo]

65. "ten"

One to change the light bulb and nine to form a support group for survivors of darkness.

[Parche]

66. jokes

"I buck one, and Tim buck two"

[Hand]

67. "Well, the Panama Canal is a busy ditch..."

:rofl:

[youthere]

68. the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled"

[Lady President]

69. Let me guess; small cocks?

.

[vixengrl]

71. "Take this cock and pullet

while I scratch my ass."

[StellaBlue]

72. "And now that man is president of the United States."

[pscot]

73. A bull has the horns in front

and the asshole in the back.

[yellowdogmi]

75. burger king...

B-)

[EFerrari]

76. "He made his own lunch!"

lol

[Random_Australian]

77. Nope, that is just frost on my moustache.

[Random_Australian]

78. "So, picture yourself hiding naked in a refrigerator....."

I kid you not, that is the punchline. :)