...well-adjusted adults with unyielding, often secretive, eating practices

[KurtNYC]

A self-described "hyper-picky eater" who consumes little more than raw carrots and celery, french fries, potato chips, pretzels, peanut butter crackers, cereal, beer and milk, Krause will not dine at friends' homes; he will go to a restaurant only with his wife.

"She will have a three-course meal and I might have a beer and french fries. In fancy restaurants, the fries might come with spices, batter or vinegar, and there I am with french fries I can't eat and two beers," says Krause. In his universe, Thanksgiving is "Black Thursday."
...
Extreme eating habits almost killed the romance for JoAnn Polickoski, 34, who lives in a suburb of Columbia, S.C. In the early 1990s, her Marine boyfriend flew her to Spain for a vacation that was to include a marriage proposal. But James Polickoski, 34, did not fully comprehend his sweetie's ironclad culinary credo: "If it looks like what it is -- if it has a head, bones or scales -- forget it."

When confronted by the day's catch in a quaint seaside restaurant, "she completely melted down," he recalls. The paella he ordered contained "oversize prawns and crawfish with heads on. She wouldn't eat anything; she wanted to go to McDonald's, to eat commissary food. We had a horrible time."

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/09/25/AR2006092501276_pf.html

Truth is not only stranger than fiction, it can also be funnier. Loved the "anti-hunger" crusader who won't eat most foods. The line about Thanksgiving being 'Black Thursday' got me also -- I'm not a picky eater but much of the standard Thanksgiving fare turns me off. Anything involving jello or yams especially. And you're FULL. And someone you liked cooked it all and you don't want to hurt their feelings so it's like a triple whammy.

[alarimer]

1. Wouldn't it be better for them to learn to like things?

Rather than avoiding everything they hate (sounds like a lot of trouble to me).

I mean, it sounds like more of a mental problem to me. Food phobias, like other phobias, can be treated. They don't have to live this way; maybe they choose to, I don't know.

I would not consider them well-adjusted.

[KurtNYC]

2. Yes

And that first guy -- pretzels, french fries and beer -- is so limited that he must have nutritional issues too. I don't see much in the way of B vitamins or C there.

Phobia for sure. They quote a "food psychologist" in the article. I didn't know there were such things.

[LynneSin]

6. As a super finiky eater

I'll just gag horribly if I eat something I do not like and trust me my list is long.

But I'm usually fine with dining out - there is always something on the menu I can eat

[alarimer]

8. I think this goes beyond just being finicky

I didn't like chicken for a long time for some reason. And I have a sister who wouldn't eat much besides cottage cheese as a child. But we both eventually outgrew it. The article sounds like it might be something more than that.

[LynneSin]

10. Actually after reading the article - yep, that's me

Seriously, there are DUers who can attest the fact that I'm an extremely finicky eater. Poor Ramsey never remembers what 4 vegetables I'll actually tolerate. And I'm notorious for returning a meal in a restaurant if they forget to remove the onions or pickles like I request every single time.

Yeah, that's me. I'm trying to expand my food tastes but I realize that this is who I am and this is what I'm gonna eat. What sucks is I'm trying to diet and there really isn't a whole lot of healthy foods I'll eat but for those on the list I eat them just about every day.

BTW - only vegetables I can tolerate: Spinach, Asparagus, snow peas (only pea), green beans carrots, and romaine lettuce.

You'd be shocked at the fruits I will not eat including most melons

I can not eat any beans because the texture alone will make me gag; probably the reason I am not a vegetarian.

It's hard to explain how I am and why I do this; however it's probably not going to change after all these years. So I just learn to adapt it

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

16. Freak.

You eat sushi though, so you're forgiven.

:)

[LynneSin]

19. We're not freaks, please don't call us that

Thank you

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

20. Okay Restricted Diet Diversity American.

I just joking around; didn't mean to offend.

[alarimer]

34. I have issues with vegetables too

but I think it's because I don't know how to cook them and when I was growing up, they were always overcooked so they never tasted really good. So mostly I'll eat them if they are on the plate but rarely think to make some myself (although I have started buying frozen organic vegetables- I figure that's better than nothing).

Certain dislikes are completely understandable- lima beans and liver come to mind. But I also know someone who doesn't like pizza. People are funny.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

35. Ugh! I hate, HATE over-cooked vegetables.

I don't think I've ever had properly cooked vegetables from any one of my family members. Hello people! I should have to chew my broccoli! It shouldn't be some brownish mush that was once upon a time broccoli.

[alarimer]

56. where I come from, the only seasonings

were salt, pepper and ketchup. It took me many years to try other things. Now, the spicier the better.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

9. Yeah I'm a picky eater to begin with and even with moral issues against

some foods, there's always something I can eat on the menu. I couldn't imagine being as picky as the people in the article.

[fudge stripe cookays]

3. I used to date one of these freaks.

I could not figure out what the hell was wrong with this guy. He would only eat finger type foods like fries and tater tots, no vegetables, no water, no anything healthy. He would not eat a sit down dinner of any type, would only eat standing up in front of the sink... God, what else?

He claimed it was issues because his mother had left his dad when he was young. I asked him why his dad didn't send him to therapy because he was a FUCKING FREAK.

You can't arrange any type of normal date, family occasion, party, nice dinner in...anything. And for someone like me who enjoys cooking and lives for stuff like that, it was torture. What an idiot. Life is an adventure. To me, that includes sampling exotic cuisines and experiencing new things all the time.

I do NOT understand these people.

[calico1]

5. Tell me about it. I dated one too.

He would only eat iceberg lettuce as far as vegetables go, and his food could not touch on the plate or he'd practically have a meltdown. And he made a huge production about his demands to the wait staff. I think it was mainly for attention and self importance. Needless to say, THAT didn't last long.

[VeggieTart]

11. Iceberg lettuce is not a vegetable, it's crunchy water!

Gee, I thought I was picky, but I eat like a queen compared to these people. My issue is typically with the way things are prepared. I do hate broccoli, though. And I'm not a fan of cauliflower, but I'll eat it if it's prepared right. Same with squashes and zucchini. And I can't be specific, but I know it when I see it.

[Bill McBlueState]

55. good call on the iceberg lettuce

I'll have to remember that.

[VeggieTart]

12. something went wrong--slow download

[VeggieTart]

13. snarl!

[LynneSin]

14. I don't mean to be rude - but we are NOT freaks

I'm sorry, I've dealt with this for all of my life and it's not just as easy as you think with putting new foods you've never tasted before in your mouth. I've tried and I dread it. I dread having to explain to folks my eating habits but I also dread the horrible gagging I'll go through when I have to eat those foods.

So I can appreciate your frustration about your ex, trust me, I live with it everyday. But we are not freaks and it would be appreciated if you not call us that.

LynneSin
Super Finicky Picky Eater

[calico1]

22. My issue is not so much with being picky as it is

with making a huge production out of it, as my ex did. Talk about drama queen. There are things I don't like myself but I try to be discreet about it and not make a big deal. By the way, I am not referring to celiacs or vegans or anything like that. It's people that don't like something, then will look at a person eating it and go "Eeeuuwww! You eat THAT?" The rudeness can go both ways.

[fudge stripe cookays]

38. That's it.

Thanks calico.

Anybody who makes a huge production about what they won't eat, and forces me to deal with their nonsense is a FREAK. And I won't quit saying it.

Get some help, for chrisssakes. I can understand being finicky when you're a kid. It's what kids do. I was the same way. But it's part of maturing to try new things, and overcome fear and trepidation.

[fudge stripe cookays]

40. I didn't say anything about you.

HE was a freak. And I'll call him that if I feel like it.

[Dangerously Amused]

47. You said: "I do NOT understand these people."

If another fellow DUer here is one of "these people," then you called him/her a "FUCKING FREAK" (your cap emphasis) by association.


I don't understand people with that kind of eating disorder either, but in the first place it isn't my job to understand them and second, I wouldn't say that my ignorance of what makes them tick necessarily designates them as "fucking freaks." I'd say it makes me a person who doesn't understand certain eating disorders/mental health issues, and a damn lucky person who doesn't have to endure that type of issue on a first-hand basis.

You know, I can't imagine that any of "these people" are proud of the fact that they have those issues. In fact, I imagine that their situation has brought them an awful lot of pain and ostracization in their lifetime.


Don't you agree?

[fudge stripe cookays]

54. These people....

who make everything about them when they order at restaurants, when they have to have you cater to their needs at parties, at dinner evenings in or out, or otherwise.

If Lynne does not come to my house and make a spectacle of herself with her finickiness, she has nothing to worry about. I'm also not dating her.

We're all freaks in one way or another. I hate my mother.

[Dangerously Amused]

59. Okay, they have food issues and you hate your mother. Whatever.

I mean I wouldn't call you a "FUCKING FREAK" and an "idiot," for hating your mother (as you called those with food issues in the OP for this subthread).

Pretty much all behavior ouside the bounds of that which is generally accepted by society can be attributed to painful events in a person's history, and usually events over which that person had no control. Left to deal with these issues on their own, people find ways to cope which may not make sense to the rest of us, and may not even make sense to them. But the last thing they need is for us to make things worse by judging them or labeling them or name-calling, especially when we don't know the source of their behavior.

I don't know what you went through that brought you to the point of hating your mother, but I don't have to know. All I need to know is that a human being is hurting, and maybe even hurting from an event or events twenty or more years ago that were so painful that the hurt endures to this day. It is likely that pain has not only held the hurting person back from experiencing more joy in life, but by default limits the joy others would get to experience from being with this person. And that's just sad all the way around.


I'm sorry you're hurting.


:hug:

[KurtNYC]

24. Food/eating can be tied strongly to emotional issues

Food is love (we are mammals afterall) -- every holiday involves eating (usually eating too much) and many religions use fasting as a kind of spiritual enhancement. So the part about his mother leaving being tied to his food issues makes at least some sense to me.

And I do agree that eating new things is part of the adventure of life.

[pitohui]

25. fudge i think we know the same guy

i know one of these and his mom did walk out on his dad when he was young

he is in no way well-adjusted, he's bi-polar and has many other issues as well, he's not quite 40 and just had a heart attack

he cannot eat anything except for a limited number of "junk" foods and these he has to heavily salt, french fries are OK, hamburgers, fried chicken, so he can socialize on a casual level but was unable to go to formal or business dinners, really nice restaurants, etc.

i don't doubt there's something wrong w. his brain that causes him to be unable to swallow other foods, i just wish they had a better idea of how to cure it, because it's going to kill him

i don't believe picky eaters can be fairly described as "well-adjusted," they are clearly trapped by a compulsion that limits their choices in some cases severely

it might not kill as fast as true anorexia or bulimia, but the compulsion to vomit up certain foods is just not healthy -- maybe if it's only ONE food it's not a problem -- i also dated a man who had this reaction to oatmeal but it was for oatmeal only so it was pretty easy to work around

[fudge stripe cookays]

39. If he grew up in Siloam Springs, Arkansas, then it is. n/t

[pitohui]

44. ah, no, this one from an old new orleans family

i think it must be a syndrome of some kind

[mainegreen]

4. My parents had a french restaurant. I'll eat anything once.

French food can be very adventurous.

[spinbaby]

7. I'm married to one

Pretty much won't eat anything his grandmother didn't cook and thinks seasonings taste funny. To make things worse, now he's on some kind of freaky "herbal cleansing diet" so pretty much all he eats is whole wheat bread, honey, meat, and cooked peas. I figure he'll have scurvy before he's done with it.

[1gobluedem]

15. I have to confess to being a finicky eater too..

Although I'm not as bad as that guy. I dislike most condiments including mustard, mayonnaise, salad dressing, pickle relish, chutney, etc. I will eat ketchup on some things (including mac and cheese) and I do like salt. I can't stand eggs (unless they're hard boiled), mushrooms, oysters, mussels, cauliflower; basically anything squishy. Game and seafood are too sweet for me. Peppers, ick, also guacamole, sour cream, avocados, artichokes.... I once went to bed rather than eat hominy when I was a child and can still remember sitting endlessly at the table for refusing to eat squash, which I still hate.

I am a voracious meat eater, though; would have bacon every day if it was even remotely healthy and I love beef, pork, chicken, lamb, sausage, and turkey.

But...I do like many vegetables and many of them raw.

[LynneSin]

18. You are not alone

:hug:

Me too! But I am as bad as some of those folks in the article

[1gobluedem]

21. We need to have lunch someday...

For me, a sandwich is bread and meat. :9

[LynneSin]

17. Folks please try to use a little PC when talking about us Picky Eaters

That article is me 110% and I'm glad I found it and that there is a website out there with other people like myself. I know that for those of you who enjoy all sorts of foods everyday think it's nuts that for some of us it's very difficult to find enough foods that are both healthy and enjoyable to eat.

All of us here at DU have our quirks and in a million years I would never think to be disrepectful to another DUer just because they have some bizarre habit. So I hope you would consider doing the same for us.

You don't know what a relief it is to read that article - I really thought it was just me!

[bullwinkle428]

23. I have my own quirks - for example, I love ahi (raw tuna) and a grilled

tuna steak, but hate tuna salad (along with chicken salad, egg salad, etc.). The most logical response to that is, "Oh, I guess you just hate mayonnaise", but I actually will use mayonnaise in cooking specific dishes from time to time. I eat beef liver, frog legs, beef sashimi (raw), calamari (squid), various wild game (bison, elk, ostrich), but still loathe some much more commonly eaten foods at the same time. I've got lactose intolerance issues to deal with as well - sucks having to buy 2 half gallons of milk each week at nearly $4 per carton for the Lactaid stuff. It's such an issue of individual preference, but the bottom line is whether your own nutritional needs are being met or not. Of course, having a significant other tolerate your quirks is an entirely different issue altogether!

[Rabrrrrrr]

26. Finicky cowardly pricks like that piss me off.

It's okay when you're three. Not okay when you're an adult.

[pitohui]

27. rabrrrrr this compulsion can't be controlled

see my post upthread and lynnesin's posts

there is an uncontrolled urge to vomit that makes it impossible to eat the foods, at least i have known of such and it sounds as if lynne may be one of these also

there is some brain disorder here, it is not a matter of personal drama

my friend w. the phobia of oatmeal explained that it was like being forced to eat vomit would be for a normal person, he finally gave up trying after a spectacular circumstance at his girlfriend's aunt's house where the breakfast was oatmeal and he thought he would try to go along to get along...the oatmeal did not stay down and it was a horrible scene all around to hear him tell it

it is very unfortunate when this phobia spreads to many foods because it is hard or sometimes impossible to control, the other person i described upthread has many medications and psychiatric help for his disorders (not just the inability to eat most food) and really it has not done a damn bit of good -- we simply don't know enough

[Rabrrrrrr]

30. At that point it's a medical issue, though, and that's okay

It's the fucks who simply refuse to learn how to eat and enjoy food - and I have two friends like this. Nothing about them gagging or having bad reactions to foods or allergies, they just refuse to grow out of the hamburger, chicken strips, and french fries stage of their childhood.

I do feel sorry for those who cannot handle certain textures, smells, or tastes - sounds like LynneSin has a very bad time.

And while not much in terms of texture bothers me, I absolutely cannot eat natto because of the texture. Watching the episode of Iron Chef in which natto was the secret ingredient was hellish.

[calico1]

32. I pretty much stopped hanging out with one friend

because she is the fries, hamburger, d on't try anything new like you describe. But the worst thing is she acted like an ass when it came to any ethnic cuisine she was not familiar with. I got tired of hearing "Eewww, that looks disgusting!" and shit like that. It's hard to enjoy your meal with someone providing idiotic comments like that.

[Rabrrrrrr]

33. And it makes having them over for dinner practically impossible

"I made some clam chowder for me with some fresh bread, good cheeses, and a salami to eat with it, a salad of non-iceberg lettuce with a balsamic vinegraitte and grape tomatoes and feta cheesze, and I microwaved a salt-laden chemical food product TV dinner for you"

"Oh, good!" they say.

Pfagh.

[smirkymonkey]

41. There's a difference between someone who has issues with

certain foods (I happen to be a very adventurous eater, but I refuse to touch milk or tuna salad and can't stand to see anyone else drink/eat them either.) and someone who uses food to manipulate others and make a group dining experience all about them. If there is something I am not particularly fond of, I won't order it and it's rarely an issue unless someone is trying to force something down my throat.

However I know people that seem to get off on having other people try to figure out what they should eat because they can't eat meat, carbs, anything grown from the ground, anything with spice in it, etc. - the list goes on. It's not so much about having an issue with the actual foods as it is about some kind of psychological need to manipulate their meal partners (kind of like a little child who tries to get his parents attention by refusing to eat, or being very finiky - except that most of us grow out of it eventually).

I know people who have issues with a lot of foods, but you'd never know it because they don't use every mealtime as a forum for their eating disorder. They simply don't eat the offending foods and don't have to announce it to the world.

[calico1]

42. I think some people never outgrow the parent

manipulation thing. Because that is exactly the way some of them behave. On the other hand, I have also seen people who will not care how a person eats until they find out a person is vegan, celiac, lowcarbing, on Weight Watchers, etc. and then sudenly make it a mission to try and get them to eat meat, wheat, carbs or high calorie food. It's damn annoying and rude. It too is food manipulation and control, only done in reverse.

[smirkymonkey]

62. I definately think there is a dynamic going on between two people

with food issues - one plays the role of the child who won't eat and the other plays the role of the concerned parent. They are both engaged in some kind of power struggle that probably goes back to their childhood. Frankly, both annoy me to no end. Just shut up and eat or don't eat, but don't drag everyone else into your drama. I feel manipulated by both types.

I should probably add that I live in NYC where people with food issues are OUT OF CONTROL, so I am a probably a little more fed up with it than the average person. I have some minor food issues myself, but it rarely comes up when I am dining with people unless I choose to make an issue of it. I just order the protein & vegetables without announcing to everyone that I'm not eating carbs, or how bad carbs are for people or a blow by blow account of what I have ingested for the past week.

People here I think tend to be more self-absorbed than the average person and their food issues are a part of that. The bottom line is that they are really starved for attention, the food is just the catalyst.

[youthere]

43. I've got a SIL like that...

She won't eat potatoes in any form, or most other veggies for that matter. I don't know if she physically can't eat it or if it's just a stubborness issue with her, but she can certainly keep her damned mouth shut when anyone else is trying to eat.
"OHMYGAWD! I can't believe you're going to eat THAT!THAT IS JUST GROSS!" (in reference to a french fry-in public and extremely loud)

[marzipanni]

48. I feel about uppdoc the same way you feel about natto! n/t

[Rabrrrrrr]

51. What's uppdoc?

:rofl:

:thumbsup:

[Radio_Lady]

49. Natto -- I'll have to look that up. What is it?

Doesn't sound too good.

I like Japanese food and will eat miso and edamame and tofu.

However, I can't stand a small list of foods:
Clams, mussels, anchovies, fish roe, raw fish, lox (smoked salmon), poi (in Hawaii).

Love vegetables (except for okra) and fruits of all kinds.

I had acne as a teenager and was advised by dermatologists to limit or exclude spicy and greasy foods, chocolate (!), and some shellfish. I've ended up with pretty nice looking skin for a 67-year-old woman.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

50. The only soy product I will never attempt. Ever. Seriously.

http://www.thesneeze.com/mt-archives/000169.php

[Rabrrrrrr]

52. It's a fermented soy product that has the texture and look of snot,

and a smell that is awful.

Natto is one of those things that, even for the Japanese, one either likes or hates - no middle ground on that one.

I could always tell, the moment I walked through the front door coming home after work, if my partner had eaten natto in the apartment at all during the day.

She loves it.

[XemaSab]

60. For me natto is a multi-sensory experience:

It looks, smells, tastes, and feels disgusting.

I even get the feeling that if you could hear each sticky rotten bean stringily pulling away from the mass it would SOUND disgusting too.

[pitohui]

28. delete hit the button twice sorry! EOM

.

[Dangerously Amused]

29. Nice quote from Eleanor Roosevelt about what maturity is:

A mature person is one who does not think only in absolutes, who is able to
be objective even when deeply stirred emotionally, who has learned that
there is both good and bad in all people and in all things, and who walks
humbly and deals charitably with the circumstances of life, knowing that in
this world no one is all knowing and therefore all of us need both love and
charity. - Eleanor Roosevelt


http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=5675127

[Rabrrrrrr]

31. And some nice quotes from H.L. Mencken

I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie. I believe it is better to be free than to be a slave. And I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant.

and

The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal.

[skygazer]

36. I always wonder if any of these people have ever really been hungry

It's easy to be incredibly finicky if you have a choice. When you have no choice, it's amazing what you'll eat.

[bicentennial_baby]

37. Exactly

:)

[pitohui]

45. i'm fairly sure that it is not accurate

one of my professors worked with a tribe in amazonia (obviously several decades ago), they had severe malnutrition issues, the reason was that these people traded their fish (with all the well known protein, fatty oils, and other nutrients that fish has) for taro (an extremely cheap african starch that had somehow filtered to south america and which has almost zero nutritional value)

the people had a taboo and a revulsion against eating the fish, even though they were quite literally dying from their poor diet

i do not know, if i ever did, what food they ate before taro came to the americas

he was unable to ever persuade any of them to eat the fish

[China_cat]

53. There's a difference between being HUNGRY

and just eating the wrong foods. If the taro hadn't been available, they'd have been hungry and the picture might have changed.

[calico1]

58. If you were really, really hungry

would you eat your dog or cat?

I can remember years ago in a class where we were discussing hunger in the world. The professor was talking about India at one point and one student said "Well, why don't they just eat the cows?" The professor tried to explain to her that cows are considered sacred and they would not ever even consider eating them. But it went through one ear and out the other. Until the professor asked her if she would eat her pet dog or cat.

[spacelady]

46. I have a friend who had gastric bypass surgery & there are some foods

she cannot tolerate, which is totally understandable. However, when we go out to dine, it is always melodramatic with her asking to sample things like cole slaw for texture, etc. The most amusing one was at a Mexican place where she ordered Beef Nachos & was presented with a lovely plate of tortilla chips smothered in ground beef & melted cheese. She summoned the waiter over and said she did not eat melted cheese. The guy was not amused, but dutifully took it back & removed the cheese.

Aren't Nachos ALL ABOUT CHEESE??

[calico1]

57. I can totally understand that some people

cannot eat certain things because of allergies, etc. Or they won't eat something because it causes revulsion, etc. But there is a difference between people who have a real psychological, medical or ethical issues with food (I totally sympathize with that!) and people who use food as a means to get attention for themselves. For them, it isn't about the food at all, imo. (for these attention hogs). I am certainly not accusing anyone here. But I have known several people who do just this. Obviously, getting attention when they were little worked with mom and dad and they never outgrew this. So as adults they continue to make a scene when food is involved. And the more people are present, the bigger the drama act. I can't stand being around people like this. They make your eating experience un enjoyable, you dread inviting them over for anything because not only are they picky about what they eat, but they feel the need to comment rudely about what other non picky people are eating.

[XemaSab]

61. I really, genuinely don't get that

I am a bit picky partly by choice (no critters) and partly by necessity (no tomatoes), but MAN do I love different flavors. There's a lot of stuff I'm not totally stoked on, but if it's put in front of me I'll eat it.

If I wasn't allergic to tomatoes and if I didn't feel guilty about eating meat, I would eat everything. Seriesly. :D

Well, except natto and sauerkraut.